Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #546: People light up?

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new contest!

Thanks to technical difficulties, I was only able to get the new contest posted, but winners will either be added to this contest during the week or (most likely) be in the first post fo the next contest, starting on Sunday.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Wesley: Shouldn't we be doing something about that energy beam?

Data: meh, being scanned by aliens again. The bald guy will just make a big speech do defeat them. You'll get used to it when you replace Geordi.

Geordi: Wait, WHAT?!

Pulaski: Clear!

Picard: Doctor I'm fineeee-(Screams in pain)

Pulaski put herself to sleep with her dance moves.

Picard: Picard to O'Brien, the transporter is set on slow-mo again.

Crusher: Will, the next time you drag me to speed dating, make sure the species in attendance will be corporeal.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WES: Looks like it's Worf's turn in the spotlight.

Appendectomies of the future.

 

[Nerys Myk]

LABCOAT: Seriously this is the best the holo team could come up with? The resolution is horrible and the movements are clunky.
BROWNSHIRT: Sorry sir, Vulcan Love Slave takes all our best people.

 

[Mr Soak]

Pulaski-EMH: What’s wrong with you?
Technician: Hmm, no. The bedside manner needs work.

Picard: My God, it’s full of stars!

The black light disco was a mistake. Bad mistake.

 

[Herbert]

Producer # 1: Okay, budget is tight this season. We need to get creative.
Producer # 2: Oooh, I know. Let's reuse effects from The Alternative Factor.
Producer # 3: Brilliant!

 

[Herbert]

Riker: What the hell? Did Rob Liefeld draw my chest?

 

[Smellincoffee]

It was only then that Wesley realized his apple juice had been spiked. The hour that followed would destroy his Starfleet career completely.

JJ Abrams, OS: Cut! Little too much lens flare there.
(Collective gasp)

Picard kept it together admirably well once the space-acid hit.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Crewman (OS): "You know, it would be much easier for me to spot-clean your uniform if you just took it off and changed into something else..."
Picard: "I'm a busy man, Crewman. I don't have time for that!"
Crewman: "*sigh* Yes, sir."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Data: "Sir, I believe the luminol scan should help locate all the space lice by illuminating them blue. So far the scans appear clean. Now to turn around and look on the other side of the room."

Picard: "Good, good. I understand you can only contract space lice by having group sex orgies on Red Light IV."

 

[Qonundrum]

"And that, Wesley, is how Species 8472 goes to the bathroom."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Offscreen: "And the winner is....Worf!"
Worf: "I am not standing there."
Yar: "Hey, wait, there was a contest? What was the prize? (Everyone else looks away from her.) What?"

 

[Orac]

Picard: Yes, that's the spot! You chaps are much more pleasant than those anus probing aliens we encountered last week.

 

[Tenacity]

Worf: "MISSED ME !!!"

Picard: "As you can see, in the evolved future we handle under arm odor far more effectively than in the primative 21st century."

 

[shivkala]

Wesley: Why are alien probes always bright lights that penetrate our ship? Sometimes with lightning, at that? Is that what our probes are like?

Picard: Shut up, Wesley.

Pulaski: Doctor's log, remind me if I have to perform cardiac surgery on Picard again to ensure there's an easier way to recharge his heart's battery.

Labcoat: I hate judging these freeze-dance competitions. There's also a few who go to the extremes.

Picard: Do you sense that?

Data: Sir?

Picard: It feels as if Geordi struck out again. It's strange, I feel as if I can sense him failing again.

The Blue Man Group 24th Century version.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Omnipotent Alien: "I will now put an energy spotlight on the first person to get a spin-off show..."

Dorn: "Damnit! So close."

 

[Mojochi]

Wesley: That's odd. I would've thought that if anyone's head was going to have that much glare, it'd be the captain

When those cheap cardiac replacements backfire

The new figures in the Starfleet wax museum were not as authentic as the curator had hoped

Picard: Get a room, you two

Riker: Blueman Group has gotten too ecclectic for me lately

 

[Triskelion]

Probe: LICENSE AND REGISTRATION PLEASE, SIR -
Worf: Is there a problem, officer?
Geordi: <muttering>DWB
Data: Driving while...?
Geordi: Bat'lethy.
Wesley: Klingon lives matter.
Worf: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Beverly: Dammit Jean Luc, you got on the Viagratron 3000 upside down again!
Picard: !@#$% humanoid-neutral biobeds!

Administrator: Have you activated the Boris Karloff-o-tron yet?
Lackey: No. No I haven't.
Administrator: OK that's creepy!

Picard: Wait, why didn't they just fall through the deck into outer space?
Data: Anions, sir.
Picard: Anions?
Data: Particle flux density of the ion field generating a resistant substrate on the quantum resonance -
Picard: If you don't know, just say so, Data, instead of making up that load of targ shit.
Data: You got me, sir.
Geordi: THANKS FOR THE PREMATURE FUNERAL, JACKASSES!!!

Riker: So they're just...sitting and ingesting weird stuff through their head holes?
Crusher: That's what it looks like. Though it seems like something you could just do at home instead of in a extradimensional cave on the other side of the galaxy.
Riker: Maybe they're married.
Crusher: That would explain the dull conversation and glazed expressions.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Captain Darien Lambert (just off screen): "Transmission tone, SELMA."

Riker: "You know they got blue balls."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

PROFESSOR FARNSWORTH: Fire the doom ray!
FRY: It's no good, I keep missing Worf!
PROFESSOR FARNSWORTH: Aim a little more to the right!
FRY: Oh no, the beam bounced off Worf and hit Tasha!
PROFESSOR FARNSWORTH: Worf must have some kind of natural anti-doom resistance! Oh well, good enough.

FRY: Time travel duplicates are WAY easier to hit!

CLONE: Alright, get ready to extract Commander Riker's mojo. Our colony will become fertile once again!

GEORDI: This is sure to save us! Just as long as Data doesn't happen to look away at the last minute!

RIKER: Looks like we're about to go back in time. Does this episode work by Back to the Future rules or Lost rules?
BEVERLY: Well, Guinan has been giving cryptic hints about what happens in the past. I'm thinking Lost rules.
RIKER: Cool, then we can't break time! There's a lot of brothels in this time right?