Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #546: People light up?

[Qonundrum]

Data: "Geordi, if we redirect the beam of light, we can make the plants in the cornucopia blossom brighter. Do have a mirror?"
Geordi: "I don't, ask Worf."
Wesley (muttering): "They don't ask me because I'm a kid, and it's obvious to all in the room that my hair is the neatest!"

** ATTENTION: BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL IN AISLE 1 **

** ATTENTION: BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL IN AISLE 2 **

** ATTENTION: BIG ANYON BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL IN AISLES 3 AND 4 **

** ATTENTION: REALLY REALLY BIG BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL IN THE MALL OF AMERICA **

 

[TrickyDickie]

Picard: My God, it’s full of stars!

Excellent reference.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Geordi: "I'm never helping out at kindergarten craft time again."
Ro: "Second that."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "I assure you, Mr. Data, none of my crew would have sex with sparkly vampires."

Ro: "Can he see us?"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Wesley: Captain, why is there a flower basket on the bridge?
LaForge: Be quiet, Wesley. We're under attack!
Wesley: That's every other day, though. Why do we have a flower basket all of a sudden?

 

[TrickyDickie]

Riker: "In spite of his threats, Jake Hunter didn't solve the case. I hope you can crack it, because right now this is seriously sucking, Dix."

 

[TrickyDickie]

Picard: "I think Q is obsessed with those damn things!"

Wesley: "I think they're really good!"

 

[TrickyDickie]

Picard: "I don't understand it. I have one mirror installed in this place and then all hell breaks loose."

Data: "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."

Picard: "Let's leave Bible Lore out of this."

 

[TrickyDickie]

Picard is rescued at the last moment, from permanent encasement in a Zingerite cocoon, by The Zinger Zapper.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Announcer: "And the Emmy award for Best Actor in a Television Series goes to..."

The spot light shines on the wall.

Announcer: "HAHAHAHAHA, yeah right Dorny."

 

[TrickyDickie]

Riker: "I confess to a strong feeling of vertigo right now."

Beverly: "My suspicion is that if I'm not very careful, after the 39 steps the lady vanishes."

 

[Drob]

Data: Executing bridge program ‘Wesley_Spot_5’

Wesley: If I’m correct and Mr. Worf tries to grab the moving light, I can prove Klingon DNA has feline origins.

Worf: Felines have NO HONOUR! < he meows loudly and swats at the spotlight >

Picard: True, felines have no honour, or loyalty for that matter! You’re relieved Mr. Worf.

Worf: Why!

Picard: For being a pussy! Lieutenant Yar, please escort ‘Son of Moggie’ from the bridge before he embarrasses himself further.

< Worf is unceremoniously dragged off the bridge by the scruff, still feverishly clawing at the mystery light >
< Wesley turns directly to camera and punches his fist in the air >

Wesley: Wesley wins again, YEAH!

 

[Drob]

Crusher: Your'e not going to do anything weird to them, are you Will?

Riker: Bev, I'm just going to try to talk to them, the Riker way.

Crusher: <air-quoting> Do you mean 'talk' talk or 'lets f with with their head-holes' talk?

Riker: <pauses> Umm, I haven’t decided yet. And stop with all the 'air-quotes' when I'm talking. It's weird.

Beverly: Your'e weird...

Riker: <pointing> Have you looked over there recently?

 

[inflatabledalek]

Wesley: Why is there a vase on the bridge?

Picard: With Troi away I needed something with the same skill set to fill in for her.

At last, the secret of Patrick Stewart not ageing is revealed: He is really Patrick McCloud of Clan McCloud

Riker: Damn, how did they see through our "Trick them into thinking they're on the holodeck" ruse?

Picard: alright Mr Date, I get my "That's the first woman Geordi's touched in years" joke was in bad taste considering the circumstances, but come on!

Frakes: I tell you Gates, I don't understand why you find it uncomfortable going into the writers room and giving your ideas.

 

[f14peter]

PICARD: "So, do you expect me talk?"

EVIL MEGELOMANIAC BENT ON GALACTIC DOMINATION: "No Mr Picard, I expect you to DIE!!!!!"

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Doctor: "I'm afraid you have a bad case of the blues."
Riker: "I'll go get my harmonica..."

 

[Herbert]

Picard: Mr Worf, how many times do I have to tell you that the phaser lock is for targets outside the ship!
Worf: I don't understand it sir. It worked in all my holodeck simulations
Yar: Yikes! You guys better hope I don't get killed on an away mission or something

 

[Leviathan]

Crusher: Tricoder scans show they are trapped in the past, quantum leaping from life to life, putting things right that once went wrong and hoping each time that the next leap will be the leap home.

Riker: I wonder if Johnathan Archer ever had this problem...

 

[Leviathan]

Captains personal log: The gathering of Picards is at hand. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

 

[Leviathan]

Picard: It's good that you turned Troi into a cornucopia Wesley...very good. It's good that you've transported the borg over to scan us. Very good.

Narrator: On an isolated starship, a young boy with vast mental powers, but lacking emotional development, holds his terrified crew in thrall to his every juvenile wish. And if by some strange chance you should run across him, you had best think only good thoughts. Anything less than that is handled at your own risk, because if you do meet Wesley, you can be sure of one thing: you have entered The Twilight Zone.