Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #539: Free For All
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Barclay: I would like to apologize to Acting Ensign Crusher, and the entire crew. My remarks were insensitive, poorly timed, and unbecoming of a Starfleet officer.
Picard: Well done, Barclay, but we've all told the boy to shut up.
Barclay; Yes sir, I know, but Doctor Crusher was going to schedule me for a manual prostate exam if I didn't apologize.
Riker: Data -
(Music)
Data, singing: I got the power!
He's gonna break my heart
He's gonna break my heart of hearts -
I've got the power!
Riker: ...I'll come back later.
Troi: There, there.
Ensign McSadface: That's it?!
Troi: Do you want a tissue?
McSadface: COUNSEL ME!
Troi: Sweetie, I'm a career counselor. I mostly tell kids what to study so they won't be terminally unemployed. I'm only on the bridge to fill some weird union reg.
Riker: On the planet, this is considered the epitome of manliness. I'm John Wayne in space.
Tasha: Okay, Marion.
Yar: In that outfit, he's asking for it.... How's that for equality!
Riker: Yes. I am asking for it. I am literally asking for it.
Troi: ...This sounded better in the transporter room.
Riker: I really like this exhibit, it's so avant-garde it's really very meta, you can see where the artist's intention was...
Troi: Actually, Will, that was left by the alien ambassadors who couldn't find the toilet.
Riker: "You know, on second thought, I know they just developed warp and we can now make contact with them, but if this still consider this pile of shit 'art', then maybe we should wait another hundred years."
"Don't taze me, bro!"
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TFTW Santa!
Barclay: ...And if my mis-use of the holodeck doesn't go on my permanent record, I won't reveal which one of you used Captain Archer's chair in the NX-01 program for some Andorian Action.
Barclay: ...And if my mis-use of the holodeck doesn't go on my permanent record, I won't reveal which one of you used Captain Archer's chair in the NX-01 program for some Andorian Action.
Riker: Oh, hang on, we should have turned right at that last intersection. This leads to the barber's shop.
Riker: I wasn't joking when I said I had something to get off my chest.
Troi: Now look, just because you're a red head with a dead husband doesn't mean the Captain will automatically fancy you. I can't see you ever popping into his head, dressed in Victorian garb as part of a fantasy Christmas scene.
Riker: It might not be a great Captain Kirk tribute statue, but trust me, it's more impressive than his grave.
RIKER - You're sure it's safe for me to go across here? Looks Dangerous.
DATA - Yes sir, this feels kinda funny. Come on. (Data mumbling to himself: First officer position, here I come.)
RIKER - You said something?
DATA - um... no sir, this current just activated my mumbling circuitry.
RIKER - Good, because this looks like a perfect setting to stage an "accident" so you could take the first officers position, which you have said you want and deserve.
Data: "Oh yeah."
Yar: "That looks ... quite nice (snicker)."
Troi: "I agree completely."
Riker: "I'm glad you both think so, because they sent three sets and we're all invited to the formal reception. So go into the next room and get changed ... that's an order."
Troi: Aww... It's ok. I've always wanted a humidor for my birthday
Riker: Keep me abreast of the situation, Lieutenant................ What?
Riker: So this is how you get your kicks. Don't let me interrupt
Riker: Nope, sorry. Nothing I can do with this. You'll need a professional plumber
Riker: "Let's make 8 year olds do calculus", they said. "What could go wrong?" they said.
Troi: I'm sensing disapproval.
Riker: And Troi wins another participation trophy.
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