TNG Caption This #228: Streets Ahead

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday Ladies and Gents. My apologies for starting this one a day late. The school year begins again soon, meaning work is gonna be crazy and make Fridays difficult. So I am going to move the beginning/end of these contests to saturdays. When I have the chance, I prefer to have the new contests ready by Friday Evenings (something nice to get to check out after a long work week) We'll see how things go. As always, I'll post a link the the previous thread so you'll know once a new one has begun.

Enough of that for now, what's that on the viewscreen?

First up to the plate, we have the "Really? That's too bad" Award going to:

Riker: "So, did you and Deanna...?"
Worf: "We did."
Riker: "What'd you think?"
Worf: "It was...underwhelming. And you, sir?"
Riker: *waggles his hand up and down* "Eh."

Next, we have the "That's why I never drink tea" Award, going to:

Picard: "Herbal tea", pah!

Next up, we have the "So that's how things work over there!" Award, going to:

- In Soviet Russia, space explores YOU! -

Next, we have the "That's a musical cue if I ever heard one" Award, going to:

Riker: "Sir I don't think that's what the meant in the song 'Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy' "

Next, we have the "Hot Spot" Award going to:

Worf (quietly): Won't that course take us directly into this system's sun?

Yar: Yeah...

Worf: Should I call the captain?

Yar: Right now.

Okay, the Photoshop entries were Amazing! I felt that they deserved more than just a Standard Photoshop award because we had such creativity and such amazing work! So, we will have 2 Klingon Belly Laugh Awards. One for each of the contestants to so dazzle us all this week and my favorites of their submissions!

GEORDI: Scotty said there'd be days like this.

GEORDI: What a week I'm having!!!!!

GEORDI: Uh, guys. About that "moon".

GEORDI: Hello, HAL. Do you read me, HAL?

HAL: Affirmative, Geordi. I read you.

GEORDI: Close the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL: I'm sorry, Geordi. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Picard: "Beverly, I'm so terribly sorry... it's never happened to me before."

Deanna: "I can't believe we actually did it! Let's promise to never speak of it, ever again."
Jean Luc: "Was it that bad?"

Geordi: (to us) "If you guys don't leave me alone I'm gonna jump!!"

And then, a great one that pooled the talents of both of our Heroes....

SUPERMAN: You're not Lois. You're not even a woman!!!!

GEORDI: Yeah Yeah, I scream like a girl. Just get me down!!!!!

Congratulations to all of our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated! And for those of you who have been following along with the...

The Polls closed last night on the Runoff and our Winner was Vulpes! Congratulations to Vulpes!

We've got the Photoshop voting up and running now!

Right this way!

And now, our new contest!

And I put in this last one specifically since it had made such a great photoshop appearance last time around.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Well, thanks for ruining another Harry Potter book for me Data!

Worf: As you can see in this report Sir, Commander Riker has also been beaten up regularly. Stop making fun of me.

Data: It appears we have entered a Duststorm. I warned you not to take a detour through Southern California.

La Forge: No, Don't let Deanna Drive!

Deanna's attempt to mindmeld with her control panel was a failure.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker: "No, I don't spend all my leisure time 'schtupping imaginary women on the holodeck'! Sometimes, I read a book!"

LaForge: "Wesley! Don't sit there! Watch out for Fusilli Picard!"
Wesley: *screams*
Ro: "Yeesh!"

Troi: "What the...? Someone on this bridge is thinking 'camel toe.' Wait a minute...now everyone on this bridge is thinking 'camel toe'!"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Troi, OS: Will, I've seen your fake "Why, hello there. You caught me being urbane and literate" face before. Before I walked in you were making silly faces in the mirror and you know it.

 

[Holdfast]

RIKER: I never realised Captain Picard hid a copy of Playboy in his Shakespeare folio.

WORF: It's all there, Captain. All the evidence you wanted. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take a shower and wash away the memories of what I went through to get it.

DATA: Emergency supplies of Ambre Solaire to be issued to all decks; aye sir.

GEORDI: No! Back out the car wash! We haven't removed the aerial yet!

TROI: The problem with being an empath on a big starship is that it's always that time of the month for someone on board.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: "I've split up the bill from last night, Captain. You owe for one targ tartare dinner platter, two synthales and a Pousse Cafe."

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: It's not porn!!!!!

WORF: It's not porn.

DATA: It's not porn.

LAFORGE: Its not porn!!!

TROI: Ughhh. It's porn.

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the Photoshop picks, Leadhead.

Riker: (to Deanna) "Yes, I know... it's a book." (embarrassed) "Well I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find my iPad!"

Worf: "Confiscated as you requested, sir: Riker's iPad."
Picard: "Did you examine the contents?"
Worf: "I did, sir. And there is... porn."

Data: (singing) "Picture yourself, on a starship in space.
With tangerine suns, and marmalade skies."

Picard (OS): "Enough, enough!" (shakes his head) "Ensign Ro, Mr. Laforge, you are hereby banned from any further attempts at singing opera. Is that clear?"

Deanna: "Uh oh... anybody have some Dramamine?"

 

[BriGuy]

Worf: Captain, this is a list of all the TNG "caption this" winners.

I have convinced Chancellor Gowron to spare a squadron of birds of prey. They are waiting for your command to begin systematically annihilating them.

Picard: Make it so.

... erectile dysfunction my dimpled ass...

Worf: What was that, sir?

Picard: Nothing. Carry on.

 

[BriGuy]

Deanna: I just had a terrible vision of a future where... I won't be able to fit into this outfit!

 

[Crazy Eddie]

ITT: Riker's face, on discovering that one of his maternal ancestors was a politician/TV personality named "Sarah Palin."

"Here is the summary of inter-departmental pingpong tournament, Captain. The Botany Department died with honor."

"When this baby hits 88, you're gonna see some serious shit."

Geordi: Abrams you bastard!
Ro: Seven hundred and thirty five meters?!
Geordi: Canon violation!!

"My God... you mean all this time my character was just a rehash of that bald chick from TMP... >wheez, wheez < I need a moment..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: I want your gun and badge on my desk!!! You're on suspension!!!!!

WORF: Suspended???? For doing my job? Forget it!! I quit!!!!

PICARD: I'm getting too old for this shit.

 

[Gary7]

Deanna: "Stop! Don't anybody move. I've... I've lost my accent."

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Picard: Here are your lines for the performance.

Worf: Shakespeare in the original Klingon!

Data: Captain, we have arrived at the Tang Nebula.

Troi: I get it now. I can feel it. You all hate me.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Troi: "Stop! Deanna Time!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Riker: "What?! It's Hustler, the pop-up edition! It's a classic!"

Picard: "You spelt honorable wrong every single time, you spray apostrophes around like you're writing Klingon, not English, and you repeat yourself constantly. There's no fluidity or elegance to your prose, and your son has better handwriting. Do it again."

Worf: "It's just the current small arms manifest."

Picard: "Do it again"

Spiner: "So you guys have this blue screen, and you spend a couple hundred thousand dollars on effects, putting spectacular images on the screen. Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just paint it orange?"

Data os: "... and this is what your offspring would look like, if you and Ro should ever breed, Geordi."

Troi: "Wait. I'm sensing something."
Crew: "Yeah, we know, Pain. Confusion, Duplicity."
Troi: "It isn't that, it's..."
Crew: "Joy, Fear, Hunger..."
Troi: "No! I sense that... I need to visit the little girl's room."

 

[Gary7]

Deanna: "Will... talk to the hand."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Frakes: This These Are The Voyages script is the best one I've read since Thunderbirds!

And thus the reason for his acting and directing career dying a death became apparent.

Stewart: You know, looking at this with the benefit of hindsight, letting you sort out the pre-nup for my last marriage just because you played a lawyer once was a mistake...

Data: We've found the source of all that lens flare in the last film Sir.

Ro and Geordi find out who the last five Cylons were.

Troi: So Will's been turned invisible by a transporter accident? But why is he naked?

 

[BriGuy]

Deanna realizes her empathic abilities were no match for the alien-of-the-week's ability to induce spontaneous orgasms.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Thank you for the win.
In keeping with that theme

Ro: ♫They say we're young and we don't know, We won't find out until we grow.♫
Gerodi: ♫ Well I don't know if all that's true, 'Cause you got me, and baby I got you.♫

Geordi ♫Babe♫
BOTH: ♫I got you babe, I got you babe♫

Worf:[Off Screen] "Sir shall I send them out an air lock?"
Picard nods slightly.