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TNG Caption This #227: Pop, Pop!

LeadHead

Director of Comedy
Premium Member
Good evening Ladies and Gents! So Sorry about the delay here this evening, but at long last....


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First up to the plate, we have the "Checkmate" Award, going to:

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Riker: "Mr. Worf...fire."
Picard: "Oh, well played, Number One!"


Next, we have the "Chase Scene Intro" Award goes to:

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Troi: Look! There goes my accent.


Next, the "French Culture Failure" Award goes to:

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Picard: That was a bit sloppy, Mr. Worf.
Worf: Sorry, sir.
Picard: And generally we do it once on each cheek, not...full on the lips. With tongue.


Next, the "Last Minute Script Change" Award, goes to:

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Riker: "You're a mildly-injured and somewhat-winded man, Apgar! A MILDLY-INJURED AND SOMEWHAT-WINDED MAN!"

Next, we have the "Quality Instructions" Award, going to:

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Pakled phaser instructions:
1. You point at thing.
2. You push button to make thing glow and go.
3. Have a nice day.



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Picard: How long do I have to hold this thing?

Riker: Untill the glue dries.


And for those of you who are unaware, we are currently running the...

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Earlier tonight, we started a second voting round, with the top 3 of the first voting round going against each other!

Head on over and vote!

And now... our new pictures, ready for captioning!

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Enjoy!
 
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Riker: This is not the Will Riker you're looking for...


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Picard: Tea, Earl Grey, Plant Form.


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La Forge: Why was this a good idea again?

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Worf: (offscreen) Sir, you have taken 4 weeks of Shore Leave. Starfleet sent this to provoke you to "Get back in the saddle."


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Yar: Did she really state the obvious AGAIN?!
 
Thanks for the award LeadHead.


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Picard: I hate being on a diet.


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Due to Starfleet budget cuts Geordi had to take up a second job as a pole dancer.
 
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Woohoo, thanks for the win!

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Riker: "So, did you and Deanna...?"
Worf: "We did."
Riker: "What'd you think?"
Worf: "It was...underwhelming. And you, sir?"
Riker: *waggles his hand up and down* "Eh."

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Picard: "Well, I know what Doctor Crusher and I are doing tonight!"
 
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Frakes: I'd think carefully about taking the gig on DS9, the ratings are only so so...

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The producers briefly experimented with replacing Gates McFadden with a potted plant, but the greater range of expression and emotion the plant was capable of soon saw it leave the show for a major movie career.

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Geordi: Final frontier my ass.

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Frakes: So you not only got 12 million dollars and an executive producer's credit for this film, but your agent negotiated you getting a horse as well?

Stewart: Oh no Jony, it was a horse ranch. Why are you crying?

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Worf: *Thinking* Nice arse.

Troi: I can hear you!
 
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None of his colleagues had the cojones to tell Picard that some prankster had written, "For a good time, call Jean-Luc" on the back of his head.



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Turbolift repair was one casualty of Picard's new austerity program.
 
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Riker (to self): "I think the captain is taking this 'assless chaps' thing a little too far."
 
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Riker: "I'll arm-wrestle you for her."


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Picard: "So... I can captain a starship, but damned if I don't have a green thumb."
*** Crash ***


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Geordi always loved a good challenge.


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Riker: (thinking) Damned... I miss those.


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Ever wonder why Deanna changed her hair style?

Tasha: (whispering) "Hey Worf, I think Deanna could use a new nickname. How about 'pin head'?"
Worf: "Excellent."
 
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RIKER: Steady as a rock. Bring on another round of Bloodwine!!!!!

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PICARD: Oh well, at least its not a tribble.

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COMPUTER: Decompression in three seconds...

GEORDI: Never an emergency door to roll under and out when you need one.

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DATA: I overheard you saying you would "ride Dr Crusher like a cowboy" and thought a saddle would help.

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WORF: What's with that hair?

TASHA: And that uniform can't be regulation.

TROI (thinking): Haters gonna hate.
 
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RIKER: Go on, smell my fingers.

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PICARD (thinking): What the hell has this been watered with?

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Geordi's experimental magnifying beam hit his spare VISOR.

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PICARD: Number One, you know why the girls are both smiling? It's the saddle. Pure magic.

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TASHA (thinking): Hair extensions! That's how she does it!
 
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Picard (reading from card)" "'To our new commanding officer! Welcome! Signed: the crew of the Enterprise.' The card is bigger than the plant! Cheap bastards!"


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Yar (with great indignation): "I know you're not standing between me and my viewscreen!"
 
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Deanna: "I'm suddenly getting the sense of a presence... it's terrible! Captain, do you feel it?"
Picard: "Kneel before Zod!"
 
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Picard (to self): "Everybody tells me what a beautiful cactus I grew. Problem is it's really an oak tree."
 
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Worf (quietly): Won't that course take us directly into this system's sun?

Yar: Yeah...

Worf: Should I call the captain?

Yar: Right now.
 
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