TAS Caption Contest #23: Fantastic Voyages

[Maurice]

Magistrate: "Then you will be caned!"

McCoy: "I've had worst."

KIRK: Bratwurst or liverwurst?
SULU: That's "WORSE", you dopes!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Hold still. This might tickle.
Sulu: Wait. Wait! Didn't Ensign Ricky undergo this same procedure?
McCoy: Who?
Kirk: Redshirt who died last week.
McCoy: Oh, yeah. But don't worry I got plenty of practice on his corpse; you'll be fine.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "This wasn't in the brochure!"

 

[Maurice]

SULU: Damn, but TSA's gotten fierce!

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Spock: "Jim remember what the doctor said, "sleep with one more woman and your dick might fall off" "

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "Next time I think we better just stick with hopscotch."

Kirk: "Bones, you should have been more careful about holding on to the directions. Something tells me you're not doing this correctly."

 

[Kagan]

Queen to Kirk: Your Vienese Waltz contained too many lifts.
Queen to Spock: Your Jive lacked passion.
Queen to Audience: If you want to see your favorite stars next week on Dancing with the Star Trekkies? Then, you need to make that subspace call...right now!

Arex: These people are so courteous and accomodating. They fitted me for a three-handed stock.
McCoy: They didn't sand mine. It's rougher than a horned toad's back.
Sulu: Speaking of horney items, aren't there a few ancient Earth prison customs that we could experience?

McCoy: This new technology may be the answer. In the early 21st century, a pill was invented that made a guy named Bob smile all the time.
Kirk: But Bones, why have you pointed the ray at Sulu's crotch? How could that change his grim disposition?
McCoy: This is Sulu's Friday afternoon treatment. Then, he'll disappear into the lower decks for 72 hours. Comes back smiling every time.
Kirk: Oh my!!!

 

[Tan Ru]

KIRK: "oh gawd...... Mötley Crüe is not gonna play again, are they? I saw them once in '84 and THAT was enough!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Hold still, Hikaru. I'll find your penis yet.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: "oh gawd...... Mötley Crüe is not gonna play again, are they? I saw them once in '84 and THAT was enough!"

SPOCK: Do not worry Captain. I believe a young lady named "Marilyn Manson" will be performng.

 

[Isis]

Spacelady 1: "I haven't had this much fun since I taught Buzz Aldrin how to dance."

Spacelady 2: "Well, based on his 'Dancing With the Stars' performance, I can see you did a 'great' job."

Spacelady 1: "Well, at least he beat Shannon Doherty."

 

[Vonstadt]

Next on COURT TV "StarFleet's Witchcraft Trail Continues" ....

 

[Rat Boy]

Magistrate: "Since one of you is responsible for the creation of Sarah Jessica Parker, you will all be put to death."

Accused witch: "Not big on Sex in the City, are you?"

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "All we did was forget the cranberry sauce. Aren't you people over-reacting?"