Contest: ENTER STV'ger Caption Contest #225: The One with the Demon Planet

[Orac]

Welcome to the first new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest of 2022!

Here are the winners of the last contest..

@tharpdevenport wins the highly prestigious Captain's Choice Award with this magnum opus:

Doctor Baldcchi: "It's a injection for a virus that has over a 99.9% survivability rate and will do nothing and you'll need a second shot and maybe even a third, and you'll still be treated like you have the plague."

Tuvok: "That is highly illogical."

Kim: "Science denier."

Tuvok: "How's that promotion going, ensign?"

Kim smirks like a dumb bastard.

Mistress Janeway: "Mr. Tuvok, even though the Borg accidentally leaked it and developed it, they assure us from the Universal Health Organization -- which that essentially run -- that's it's totally safe to get and you're a threat to humanity if you don't."

7 of Nine: "We are pleased with approach. We also suggest mandating it or being kicked out of Starfleet."


@captain crow wins third prize with:

Guy: Oh crap. It's a Neelix heavy episode.

[begins desperately jabbing buttons trying to change the channel]


@Captain pl1ngpl0ng gets second place with:

"this augmented reality stuff is great, i can see chakotay everywhere now..."

And the winner is @Leviathan with:

Doctor: It's not responding to treatment. I'll have to euthanize this tree.

Congrabulations!

Here're th' new pictures..

Bonus picture:

 

[Herbert]

Spock: Captain, the ship attempting entry is too large
McCoy to Kirk: Kinda reminds you of that night on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet doesn't it?
Kirk: (knowing smirk)

 

[Oddish]

Oooo-kay...

SEVEN: "It's a schematic for a special item, intended for crew members who have been unable to procure a romantic partner. It's called the Quantum Cascade Pleasure Enhancement Device."

VORIK: "I will no longer be attempting to mate with you, lieutenant. The Quantum Cascade Pleasure Enhancement Device I received from Seven of Nine takes care of those needs quite effectively."

EMH: "I have successfully treated Mr. Paris's... ah, injuries. Now, what you two do with your Quantum Cascade Pleasure Enhancement Device is your own business, but you would be wise to at least read the instruction manual."

HARRY: "NO! Please, captain, don't take away my Quantum Cascade Pleasure Enhancement Device ! Do you have ANY idea what it does?"

JANEWAY: "I know EXACTLY what it does, Ensign, which is why I'm confiscating all of them!"

JANEWAY: "Captain's log, Stardate 54556.5... Voyager has landed on an isolated moon to secretly deliver our entire supply of Quantum Cascade Pleasure Enhancement Devices to the Bosconians. This action may be a prime directive violation, but they have offered us a full complement of photon torpedoes in exchange."

 

[Akiraprise]

Repulsor beam activated!

 

[Leviathan]

Thanks for the win Orac!

Seven: The Borg are aware of playing pool with planets - we have the logs of one D. Lister, 3rd technician.

 

[Orac]

Evasive maneuvers Mister Sulu.

 

[Akiraprise]

@Orac Nice.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Post reactions after Kim once again asks about a promotion.

 

[Oddish]

Post reactions after Kim once again asks about a promotion.

And Harry's response?

 

[Orac]

EMH: I'm afraid you're NOT the father Ensign Kim.

Harry: It's MY baby! It's MY baby! It's MINE!

Janeway: You couldn't impregnate a tribble!

Bezos: From hells heart I stab at thee!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Doc: "Ah ha, I see what the problem is, Ensign. This device you inserted into Mr. Paris isn't a time-released enema, but rather a vibrating butt plug. You're an Ensign, not a doctor, Ensign. And if you had any further curiosities has to why you never get promoted..."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Harry: "OW! Very funny -- who put the Penisrock on my chair?"

Woodcotay: "You don't have a chair, Ensign."

Janeway: "Nice cover story, Ensign. Care to confess anything?"

Tuvok: "Logic would dictate it did not get there by itself."

 

[Oddish]

ODDISH (in best Brent Spiner voice): "Question... why is Commander Chakotay being referred to covertly as a building material?"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Going back in time to about six years ago to a picture I made for an old and gone Caption This! contest...

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Tuvok: The latest data stream from Earth is complete, Captain.
Kim (OS): Captain, it looks like we've gotten the first Voyager action figures in 20 years!

Chakotay: What are we looking at.
Seven: For compatibility with the Astrometric Lab systems, I have input the various parameters of our relationship as astronomical phenomena, and have completed 5347 different simulations. The results are consistent.
Chakotay: What have you found?
Seven: As you can see, the implosion of simulation 5348 will occur momentarily.

 

[Leviathan]

Voyager Computer: Screw it. I'll walk home.

 

[tharpdevenport]

7 of 9: "...and so the sperm once fired, speeds into the hole and life is created. It is quite pleasurable. You will never experience this."

 

[Delta Vega]

Chakotay shows appreciation for Janeway after she farts a peach

 

[Delta Vega]

Chakotay contemplates a sly hand on the Seven of Nine arse

 

[Orac]

Chakotay: Where'd th' cheese go?
7: I don't know.