Contest: ENTER STV Caption Contest #208: Scientific Method

Torres: It's an exact reproduction of Mr. Spock's imager, what do you see?

EMH: Andorian midget porn.

 

(Sorry, this turned more into a short instead of a punch line)

Torres: You know for someone who claims to not be a "Peeping Tom", you sure pry into the off hours of the crew to satisfy your melodrama.
Doc: I'm a doctor. Not a porno filmographer.
Torres: Are you tapped into Chakotay's quarters?
Doc: Wouldn't you like to know?

 

DOC: I'm a Doctor AND a command officer!
PARIS: I'm a pilot, genius engineer, medic, command officer, and holonovel writer, all while being a rebellious bad boy!
DOC: ...No fair.



NEELIX: ...Did you just climb up on the console just so you could keep looking down on me?
TUVOK: Yes.



CHAKOTAY: So why DON'T we just go warp 9.9999 and get home in a minute without turning into lizards?
JANEWAY: I don't want to give him the satisfaction.



JANEWAY: You know, they say you look on the outside the way you feel on the inside.



TORRES: What happened to him? It looks like his brain exploded!
DOC: He's from the department of temporal investigations, he just got done interviewing Captain Janeway.

 

Paris: Where'd th' cheese go?
EMH: I don't know!


Paris: I can't believe I kissed you!
EMH: Must've been your lifelong ambition!

 

Paris: "I'm a floor wax."
EMH: "I'm a dessert topping."

 

Tuvok's crippling fear of mice took the rest of the crew by surprise.

 

Tom: B'Elanna, you've gotta see my new holonovel. It's my twist on an old 20th century movie. I call it...
"Honey, I Blew up the Vulcan!"

Janeway: I tried to tell you the grail wouldn't be made of gold, but someone wouldn't listen.


Picardo: Milk, eggs, bread... wait a sec..
Who swapped my cue card for my grocery list!

 

Doc
"It's 1-0,
Rapinoe"

 

Hehe.

Picardo: Aye.... Captain? What? This is Beltran's handwriting.

 

Doctor: "What's wrong with this bastards???!!! Clearly the dress is blue!!!"

 

Trek Trivia #47: They were going to have Chakotay develop wooden skin...until someone steeped in and told Braga and Berman it'd be a waste of time and money because nobody would notice..

 

Old Woodcotay: "I thought you said you'd love me when I was old and grey or even bald."

Janeway: "I lied. By the way, me and Tom have something to tail you, I mean, tell you."

 

Old Woodcotay: The spell won't break until you kiss me.

Janeway: I am determined to believe there is a scientific way out of this.

 

LOL, I approve of the continued use of "Old Woodcotay". But you missed a chance to one-up me and do "Old Lady Fingers". ;-)

 

That's because I was on my phone and too lazy to erase your words when I hit reply. But damnit...if you aren't right. I slap my knee at a lost opportunity.

 

Security officer's log, supplemental: Despite night shift's best efforts at hiding their activities, it would appear the main engineering midnight pool parties have not abated. Exhibit A, a deflated unicorn flotation device, is currently wedged in one of the coolant vents.

 

New contest! --> link