ST-VOY Caption Contest #226: One

[Orac]

Welcome to the all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest!

Here are the winners of the last contest..

@Oddish recieves the highly prestigious Captain's Choice Award with:

SEVEN: "It's a schematic for a special item, intended for crew members who have been unable to procure a romantic partner. It's called the Quantum Cascade Pleasure Enhancement Device."

VORIK: "I will no longer be attempting to mate with you, lieutenant. The Quantum Cascade Pleasure Enhancement Device I received from Seven of Nine takes care of those needs quite effectively."

EMH: "I have successfully treated Mr. Paris's... ah, injuries. Now, what you two do with your Quantum Cascade Pleasure Enhancement Device is your own business, but you would be wise to at least read the instruction manual."

HARRY: "NO! Please, captain, don't take away my Quantum Cascade Pleasure Enhancement Device ! Do you have ANY idea what it does?"

JANEWAY: "I know EXACTLY what it does, Ensign, which is why I'm confiscating all of them!"

JANEWAY: "Captain's log, Stardate 54556.5... Voyager has landed on an isolated moon to secretly deliver our entire supply of Quantum Cascade Pleasure Enhancement Devices to the Bosconians. This action may be a prime directive violation, but they have offered us a full complement of photon torpedoes in exchange."


Best Fart Joke goes to @Delta Vega with:

Chakotay shows appreciation for Janeway after she farts a peach


3rd Prize goes to @Tenacity with:

Voyager Computer: Screw it. I'll walk home.


@Akiraprise gets 2nd Prize with:

Repulsor beam activated!


And the Winner is @Mr. Laser Beam with:

"Duty officer, note in the ship's log: Google Maps no longer to be used for starship navigation."


Here're th' new pictures:

Bonus Picture:

 

[Oddish]

Yay! I won one! My thanks to the captain.

JANEWAY: "Captain's log. After several weeks of traveling through empty space, Voyager has found itself in the middle of what appears to be a... giant Purple Punch Slushie. The entire crew have eagerly gotten out their cups and buckets and are inhaling copious amounts of the wonderful sweet treat."

HARRY: "Captain... I don't know what's happening to me. I think it's an ice cream headache."
JANEWAY: "Ensign, how many cups of that Purple Punch Slushie did you eat?"
HARRY: "Only 27."

CHAKOTAY: "Arghhh... it's not just Harry, captain. I had too much Purple Punch Slushie too."
JANEWAY: "Ow ow ow... I think we all did."

SEVEN: "I see that the crew are having a Purple Punch Slushie guzzling contest tonight in the mess hall at 1900 hours. This will be a perfect opportunity to demonstrate my Borg superiority."

EMH: "You will be happy to know that I have cured Seven's nasty case of facial frostbite. Maybe next time she'll think twice before participating in an unsanctioned Purple Punch Slushie guzzling contest."

JANEWAY: "Captain's log, supplemental. We are finally headed away from the mysterious Purple Punch Slushie nebula, and the crew are finally recovering from assorted incidents of brain freeze. And as I ponder the events of the last hours, one thought keeps returning to my mind... maybe the next nebula really will have coffee in it."

NARRATOR: "But for many weeks afterward, while she regenerated, Seven's dreams would be of winter and snow and other cold things..."

 

[Orac]

7: But it wasn't a dream. It was a place, and you [Chakotay] and you [Janeway] ... and you [EMH] were there.

Spoiler

 

[Oddish]

Added a few more pictures and captions to the Great Purple Punch Slushie Adventure. But I'm done now.

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Admiral: Thanks to Lt. Barclay and the Pathfinder project, we've been able to review your crew reports, and are pleased to announce the following promotions:
Ensign Samantha Wildman
Lt. Joe Carey
Ensign Doug Bronowski
Ensign William MacKinsley
Ensign Harry Kim will not be promoted.

Internal Monologue: PASSED OVER AGAIN! I'll show 'em... I'll show 'em all! They still have no idea getting slashed by Species 8472 left me with telekinetic powers.. but they'll learn... soon they'll learn what Harry Kim can really do!

Janeway: Wha? What's happening?! I can't get this thought out of my head to promote Harry. I've...got... to ... fight it.

Bonus Picture:

Bridge, you sensors are mistaken. Of course I would not bring a phaser rifle in proximity to the matter/anti-matter reactor. That would be an ill-advised use of resources and potentially hazardous..

 

[Orac]

Paris: Why... Why... it's Mister...
Janeway: Tuvok! Tuvok.

Janeway: Not this shit again.

 

[Oddish]

VOYAGER: "I'm not that kind of starship."

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

At least they look happy to see us...

 

[tharpdevenport]

When you finally did have that V-8, but it was expired by hundreds of years.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

JANEWAY: Did you hear the war with the Dominion is over? Also apparently there's a Ferengi in Starfleet now. He joined the academy the year we left and they've already made him lieutenant!

KIM: "MOTHERF*****!"

JANEWAY: That's the loudest scream I've ever heard and I've stepped on a Kelpian's toe.

 

[Orac]

Bezos: Where is she?

Kim: Gah! That isn't the correct pronunciation of gif!

 

[at Quark's]

Janeway: Ouch! That concoction Neelix served us yesterday on his 'Romulan Ale Night' might even be more potent than the genuine stuff!
Tuvok (offscreen) First time one of his culinary experiments could be called a 'success' ... of sorts, Captain.

 

[Oddish]

Tuvok (offscreen) First time one of his culinary experiments could be called a 'success' ... of sorts, Captain.

We need a screenshot from "Riddles", or another show where Tuvok is seen with a goofy smile on his face...

 

[Qonundrum]

 

[Orac]

New contest! --> link