question for guys: flirting vs just friendly talk

[melancholymecha]

again sorry for typos, my eyes are killing me tonight...

Oh sweetie, that describes me perfectly. I still managed to trick someone into
marrying me. In all seriousness, if you're not into relationships then that's a totally
valid decision. It just sounds like you may want to do a little exploration before you
settle on that decision.

I dunno...maybe but everytime I think about it I think of all the things that can go wrong.

There's plenty of people around like that; I'm kind of like that myself: A knowledgeable
layman who is more artistically inclined, and who needs a lot of alone time.

maybe but at my age...I dont think there are any around were I live or theyre already in relationships, are single with kids, etc. Of course when your a antisocial shut-in like me it makes it worse, also i cant work so...I need to rejoin that social anxiety site I used to visit... I kinda dropped out of there a few years ago...

As for feeling completely useless when you are sick and being a pain... I always
thought that was normal for someone that was sick.

The reason I menton this b/c my dry eye is so bad that I cant do anything. I couldnt help
my sister move last moth. When i get a cold or Im having my bad stomach issues I cant
be counted on for anything. or when I have a bad anxiety day. It annoys my family. if it
annoys them I can imagne how it would annoy a partner.

There are far worse things that can happen to a person. On a catastrophe scale, you
must agree that having someone interested in you would have a very low rating, when
compared to say, being run over by a bus.

yes I know. in fact & Im agnostic so a part of me thinks this is silly, but whatever, Im trying to figure out my chronic dry
eye & why its happenned & Im thinking maybe whoevers in charge is giving me a test
or a lesson... "oh you think having to socialize is uncomfortable? lets see how you
handle a year or 2 of chronic DES !"

The only useful thing you can do is pre-arm yourself with a standard reply which you
feel good about, and whip it out when necessary. I always used to say I do not like
dates nor relationships, which is not strictly lying because I would not like a date nor a
relationship with the person I am speaking with at the time. I would then politely
complete the conversation with an expression of thanks, because you were after all
paid a compliment.

oh that's interesting... I have used "no thanks, Im not interested" or "sorry, i dont give
out my number(when asked for my number)" in a very anxious hesitant manner, which
I know is awful but its the first thing that spurts out b/c Im so anxious. But do you really
think something like "thanks, but Im not interested in dating." is a good reply ? I
always thought it might sound a bit weak, like b/c its so vague...I dunno.

do understand and sympathise that irrational fears can be crippling, I have yet to
meet a person who doesn't have a few on some level. I wish you the very best of luck
in the fight against yours. It is obvious you're already doing a lot of rational and
sensible things to try to manage it. Well done! I am certain if you continue doing your
best to fight this notion, you will succeed eventually.

thank you

 

[goofy]

I don't bother with women anymore than I absolutely have to. I keep to myself and I desperately hope everyone else will keep to themselves, too. You stay on your side of the fence & I'll stay on mine. Cross it and we'll have problems, to the point police and restraining orders will need to get involved.

If you dare to approach me, be prepared to show me a wedding ring or be prepared to show yourself the door, under your own power or toe-tag first...your choice.

 

[RoJoHen]

Um...

 

[RandyS]

I don't bother with women anymore than I absolutely have to. I keep to myself and I desperately hope everyone else will keep to themselves, too. You stay on your side of the fence & I'll stay on mine. Cross it and we'll have problems, to the point police and restraining orders will need to get involved.

If you dare to approach me, be prepared to show me a wedding ring or be prepared to show yourself the door, under your own power or toe-tag first...your choice.

Your moniker is descriptive.

 

[CorporalClegg]

Um...

+1

 

[Trekker4747]

I don't bother with women anymore than I absolutely have to. I keep to myself and I desperately hope everyone else will keep to themselves, too. You stay on your side of the fence & I'll stay on mine. Cross it and we'll have problems, to the point police and restraining orders will need to get involved.

If you dare to approach me, be prepared to show me a wedding ring or be prepared to show yourself the door, under your own power or toe-tag first...your choice.

Misanthropy defined.

 

[Pingfah]

Well, it's Mis-something, that's for sure.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

I don't bother with women anymore than I absolutely have to. I keep to myself and I desperately hope everyone else will keep to themselves, too. You stay on your side of the fence & I'll stay on mine. Cross it and we'll have problems, to the point police and restraining orders will need to get involved.

If you dare to approach me, be prepared to show me a wedding ring or be prepared to show yourself the door, under your own power or toe-tag first...your choice.

To paraphrase the great Eric Morecambe (and out of context!), you're not going to sell much ice-cream going at that speed.

Did something happen in a past relationship of yours that led to this extreme stance? If that really is the case, then it may be something to get off your chest to someone, so that others can understand you better rather than make snap judgements of your character based on what you say. Of course, if I've misread that situation, then so be it.

 

[melancholymecha]

whatever it is I hope I never have whatever experience it was that led goofy to feel this way... I know the way people are... people can really suck. I can understand how someone can end up with that mentality. Thats why it all makes me so anxious.

 

[An Officer]

oh that's interesting... I have used "no thanks, Im not interested" or "sorry, i dont give
out my number(when asked for my number)" in a very anxious hesitant manner, which
I know is awful but its the first thing that spurts out b/c Im so anxious. But do you really
think something like "thanks, but Im not interested in dating." is a good reply ? I
always thought it might sound a bit weak, like b/c its so vague...I dunno.

Worked for me. Some might ask you to repeat yourself, but the delivery is what's important, you must sound certain, a sure tone will brook no arguments. Practice in the mirror at home if you must.

I'm no expert, but that's how I used to handle it once in the blue moon it was necessary.