Contest: ENTER Movies Caption Contest #265: Screenings

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Overkill" Award, going to Smellincoffee for:

Riker: Terribly sorry about the ship, captain.
Picard: Meh. I hated the carpet, anyway.

Next, we have the "Hazardous Cuisine" Award, going to JonnyQuest037 for:

"Captain's Log, Stardate 8346.2: Note to the galley: 'Burrito Night' is hereby canceled, effective immediately."

Next, we have the "Constant Updates" Award, going to tharpdevenport for:

Ensign: "Captain, we're almost within firing range."

Worf: "Very well, ensign. This tactical meanuever will require intricate last-second piloting done manually starting ... what the fuck? Why did the screen just go white and why is there a grey sicrcle with a grey exclamation mark in it?"

Ensign: "Captain, systems indicate Adobe needs to be updated."

Worf: "But it was working just fine with the old version a minute ago. Adobe is without honor!"

Next, we have the "Grudges" Award, going to inflatabledalek for:

Drebin: And we're sure going to take that Roddenberry guy to the cleaners over ripping off Forbidden Planet.

Next, we have the "Crossovers" Award, going to Hutchy01 for:

Montoya: What will we do about this lieutenant Columbo?

Next, we have the "Yeah, but do we have to wait until First Contact to find out if Beverly and Geordi survived?" Award, going to Leviathan for:

A deleted scene from the Enterprise D Saucer crash site.

Next, we have the "Honesty" Award, going to Nerys Myk for:

I assure you, Miss. The pecs are real. The hair, not so much.

Next, we have the "Buried Alive.... on National Television" going to Leviathan for:

Enrico Pallazzo: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNN!!!!


Our Photoshop Award, goes to Nerys Myk for:

Bad Betazed Landing, 2371 and we covered it, We know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two.
We are Farmer's Bum ba-dum bum bum bum

The award goes to Nebusj for:

Riker: ``What do you mean you rented the ship on my Discover card? You know what the damage policies are --- ?''


Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, a new contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: That's a great course.

Spock: That is the same course the Klingons used.

Kirk: How'd it turn out for them?

Spock: The important thing is our new shields are online.

Worf: (Thinking) Why did I let him drive?

Uhura: I'm sorry, Admiral. Our connection is down.

Kirk: I'm not interested in excuses. I need to know the current score of the A's game!

 

[JonnyQuest037]

Next, we have the "Hazardous Cuisine" Award, going to JonnyQuest030 for:

"Captain's Log, Stardate 8346.2: Note to the galley: 'Burrito Night' is hereby canceled, effective immediately."

Damn, here I thought I had a decent shot at winning this contest with my caption, and then my evil doppelganger JonnyQuest030 comes and snatches it away from me with the exact same caption! That RAT!!!

"Captain's Log, Supplemental: Since our journey inside V'Ger is taking up several hours, I've decided to kill a little time with a game of 'Pong.'"

PICARD: "Wow, this new HD viewscreen is really amazing. It's like we're actually plummeting to our deaths on the planet's surface!"
WORF: "Ummm... Sir?"

UHURA: "For the last time, sir, that was because the Platonians were FORCING us to. It's been 15 years. It's not going to happen. Now drop it."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Why does that view screen look like butt?

 

[Hutchy01]

Worf: "Kind Captain, I've important information"

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Uhura: "Next time you want to play with the bosun's whistle, would you mind giving a girl a little warning? You about scared me out of ten years growth!"
Kirk: "Why is everyone on this ship starting to sound like McCoy?"

Kirk: "You know, Bones, just because you like the surgery channel doesn't mean everybody else has to watch it..."
McCoy (off screen): "Pipe down, Jim, it was your turn to choose the show last night! And frankly, while we're on the subject, I've had just about enough of the Kobayashi Maru: Top Ten Countdown!"

 

[Ithekro]

KIRK: Hold relative position here.

SULU: Holding relative position here while at Warp Seven, sir.

KIRK: I love this ship.

WORF: Sir, how do you mange to talk me into taking a microscopic shuttle with you to examine Councilor Troi's stomach for ulcers?

PICARD: Hand to hand combat with empathic white blood cells.

KIRK: What's the problem? I seem to remember that you studied Klingon at the Academy and were well versed in all known sub dialects.

UHURA: Well someone forgot to tell Doctor McCoy about that when they reeducated me after SOMEbody's pet killer space probe wiped my memory.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Worf: "Sir, now that we are about to die, I think it would be a good time to say something that's been on my mind."
Picard: "This isn't one of those awkward near-death experience confessionals, is it, Mr. Worf? 'Cause if it is, I think it's only fair to warn you that I've read the script. We don't die."
Worf: "We don't?"
Picard: "We don't."
Worf: "Never mind."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Worf: You don't like it?

Picard: NO, I don't like it...

[The shuttle goes to maximum warp and jumps over a Son'a command ship]

Picard: Shuttle's got a lot of pickup.

Worf: It's got a Starfleet engine, a 440-cubic inch dilithium chamber, it's got Starfleet nacelles, Starfleet artificial gravity, Starfleet inertial dampeners. It's a model made before dilithium converters so it'll run good on regular crystals. So what do you say, is it the new Picardmobile or what?

[pause]

Picard: Fix the cigarette lighter.

Kirk: Shit.

Uhura: What?

Kirk: Rollers...

Uhura: No.

Kirk: Yeah.

Uhura: Shit.

Kirk: Hey, V'Ger broke my watch!

 

[Hutchy01]

General Kirk: The battle station is heavily shielded and carries a firepower greater than half the star fleet. Its defenses are designed around a direct, large-scale assault. A small one-man fighter should be able to penetrate the outer defense.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Wireframe? I thought we were dealing with an advanced technology.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Thanks for the win!

Kirk: Scotty, what's with the video data?
Scotty: We've had to restart the Enterprise's computer in Safe Mode, cap'n.
Kirk: I didn't know Starships had a safe mode. We always seem to be in danger.
Scotty: If that's a wee joke, sir, it's a very wee one.

Kirk: Status report, Uhura?
Uhuru: On hold for 47 minutes and counting, sir.

Picard: Aim for the bushes.​

 

[Nerys Myk]

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Kirk: "Scotty, what happened to the star field?!"
Scott: "Still rendering, sir."

 

[inflatabledalek]

TFTW LH!

Kirk: Damn it, I can't see the viewscreen with the bridge being oddly out of focus in front on me. I don't need glasses do I?

Worf: *SIGH* OK Sir, you are my favourite Captain. Will you pull us out of this death dive now?

Picard: Tell me who does bald better first.

Kirk: Is it me, or has this bridge completely changed its look since the last film?

Uhura: Maybe you shouldn't have sold those glasses Sir.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

McCoy: "And that's all there is to it, Jim. Interested?"
Kirk: "You know, Bones, if you're trying to sell me on laser eye surgery, maybe skip the part where the big red beam bores a hole the size of Kronos in my retina? Maybe?"

 

[Finn]

Dorn: I'm surprised they didn't have us use the Delta Flyer set.

Stewart: I know! Weird.

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Chekov: (OS) Would you look at the size of that ship!
Uhura: (OS) Do you think they're overcompensating for something?
Sulu: (OS) Ohh my.

Worf: Party on, Wayne!
Picard: Party on, Garth!
Bohemian Rhapsody starts blaring from the communication system.

Uhura: Hey, mister! My eyes are up here!

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Picard: "The weatherman said it would be sunny. SUNNY. So why am I driving in a hail storm?!"

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

@LeadHead it's been 2 months...