Movie Caption Contest #92: Screening

[Rat Boy]

President: "No really, why did you marry her?"

Sarek: "Her father threatened to kill me after I knocked her up."

*thud*

Data: "Curious, my phallus appears to be displaying the symptoms of rigor mortis. Is my emotion chip malfunctioning again?"

 

[cooleddie74]

PRESIDENT: "This is outrageous and inhumane!

A travesty of justice on all levels!

HOW can Simon call THAT bitch the best singer of Klingon opera in the entire quadrant?!"

B'ETOR:"I see you're just as shiny and free of hair as the last time we met, Picard."

PICARD:"I wish I could say the same for your pits, bitch."

 

[Candlelight]

The President and his administration settle down to watch Superbowl MCLXXXXXVI.

"Congratulations, you just caused about 5 million nerds and maybe a starfleet captain to ejaculate for the first time"

Nick: "And in this scene Kim I want you to... uh oh, looks like James is hungry"
Kim: "Wha-"
Nick: "Run Kim!"
James: "ME HUNGRY"
*Kim gets eaten*

 

[Candlelight]

President: "What kind of dumbassery is this? How the hell did you get that photo??"
Cartwright: *sniggers*

 

[SeerSGB]

President: Admiral Cartwright, why are we watching home-videos from Lt. Valeris highschool years on Vulcan? And Ambassador Sarek, please stop making the noise.
Sarek: AAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOO!

 

[Candlelight]

"Is this the episode with Mr Big or does that come later?"

 

[Zammer]

c

 

[Zammer]

Crap. I really hate watching Lord of the Rings with subtitles.

OK. I have seen Hooters Girls before. You aren't Hooters Girls!

Doohan : Gawd I feel like a geek with this pocket protector.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Crap. I really hate watching Lord of the Rings with subtitles.

Cartwright: What the...? Is that McCoy???

 

[Daneel]

TV ANNOUNCER: "Alright, Beta Quadrant, you've seen the prisoners and now it's time for you to vote! Who will get to plead their case further? Who will end up in the Bottom Two and face execution by beheading tomorrow? Will it be Kirk and McCoy of Starfleet? Selvrek and Tel'Avris of the Romulan Empire? Or Jheluna of the Orion Syndicate? Our operators are standing by -- call in your votes now! S'Krehst out!"

SAREK: "Mr. President, should we not call in to vote for the captain and the doctor?"

PRESIDENT: "At $3.75 a minute? Fuck that... Those two are on their own."

 

[Skywalker]

President: "I hate this damn show."

 

[Triskelion]

President Fluffy: This is the the worst episode of Blossom I have ever seen!

 

[Rat Boy]

Fortunately, no one saw the president blow snot all over the antique table.

 

[S'kai]

Sarek: Mr. President, are you jerking off behind the desk again? I am fully aware that not everyone keeps their genitals in the same color.

 

[Shatmandu]

President M'Ullet: "You ever have sex with a Klingon? Hell, I'm blind and I still had to look away ..."

Picard: "If you hadn't slain your Gods long ago, I would say, "GODDAMN! LOOK AT THOSE TITTIES!"

 

[cooleddie74]

SAREK:"Is this all that's on, Mister President?"

RA-GHORATREII:"Afraid so. Ever since the subspace writer's strike, most of the shows are reality show reruns."

LURSA:"The milk's gone BAD, Captain! Or couldn't you tell?"

B'ETOR:"Honk-Honk!"

DOOHAN:"So...I don't get to spoon with her, Nick?

Then what the HELL did I show up to work for?!"

 

[Candlelight]

Edited for a G-rated audience.

 

[cooleddie74]

RA-GHORATREII:"Damn.

It's Pledge Drive Week again. They always interrupt the better Klingon operas for that shit."

 

[Daneel]

The Klingon version of 2 Girls, 1 Cup proved to be even more disturbingly popular than the original -- so popular, in fact, that Captain Picard held regular screenings of it for the bridge crew every Tuesday morning.

 

[trampledamage]

Picard: "Enough chit chat. What will 50 credits get me?"

LURSA: (roaring with laughter) 50 credits? 50 credits gets you a night with the Targ, Picard!