WORF (whispering to Data): If he were any other man, I would beat him with your arm where he stands!
Movie Caption Contest #50: Bad Directions
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WORF (whispering to Data): If he were any other man, I would beat him with your arm where he stands!
Lt. Morton: "... and Clarence goes, give the guy a hand!"
Stiles: "Tell that lame story one more time, and you'll wake up with a sonic grenade between your legs."
Worf: "Serve the public trust" wap "Protect the innocent" wap "Uphold the law" wap
Picard: "I don't think you're supposed to hit him over the head with his own arm as you say it."
Nimoy: "Now in this scene, I want you to make the universal sign of almighty cleavage, and say, 'I'll buy that for a dollar'"
Commander: Sir, we've lost the Enterprise!
Captain Stiles: That rascally Kirk! I knew we should've made that left at Albequerque.
Commander: Ughh...
Captain Styles: I know, that bastard Kirk got away from us.
Commander: No, I'm feeling that Red Alert Spicy Burrito served in the officer's mess today. It's about to blow like a warp core!
Crewman: The malfunction to the transwarp has affected most of our systems, including the turbolifts.
Styles: Doesn't look like you're going anywhere fast Commander. Just head down to the restroom and inform the janitorial staff if there is a premature core breach.
Commander: Aye sir!
MAJ Gates: Alright, now that we changed out of our fatigues, we can go after Saddam's gold.
SSG Elgin: Why do I have to wear these damn ridges?
Maj Gates: It came with the costumes.
SFC Barlow: Why are we wearing these costumes?
MAJ Gates: Saddam's gold is buried under the streets of Fallujah between the the Bellagio, the Mirage and the MGM Grand, and there happens to be a Star Trek convention at the Mirage tomorrow.
SSG Elgin: That doesn't explain why I have to be the fucking Klingon.
SFC Barlow: And aren't these uniforms from a movie that doesn't come out for 5 years?
MAJ Gates: Sure, but it's not like you're wearing Juliet sunglasses right now. Now drop that arm Elgin and let's go.
Nimoy: No, no, no, you're not doing it right! Look - separate just the second and third fingers, and repeat after me: "Live long and prosper!"
STYLES:"My quarters.
2200 hours.
DON'T be late, or else.
Oh...and bring the bullwhip."
DATA:"Counselor Troi found this in her vagina, sir."
The braille version of STAR TREK IV was, unlike the regular theatrical release, a crashing failure.
STYLES:"You, uh...
You've got a little stupid on your face, son."
Stiles: Listen, kiddo, it's not the size of your swagger stick, but what you do with it.
Styles: So. Two Girls, One Cup was off the hook, huh? Commander?
XO: ...gonna...vomit...
Picard: Thank you, Mr. Worf, but this is no time to demonstrate what you and Mr. Data 'explored' on Risa.
Nimoy: Woah...Bill...make nice, give us the ray gun.
Hicks: He knows that's just a prop, right?
"All ready to go capture the Enterprise?"
"Yes sir, the transwarp drive is standing by, the weapons grid is online and Ensign Ricky is just completing the last of the Windows Vista upgrades as we speak"
"Hmmm, Incredible machine. Promotions all round then."
"All ready to go capture the Enterprise?"
"Yes sir, the transwarp drive is standing by, the weapons grid is online and Ensign Ricky is just completing the last of the Windows Vista upgrades as we speak"
"Hmmm, Incredible machine. Promotions all round then."
*Later*
Scotty: "The more they overthink the Windows, the easier it is to cause a blue screen of death."
Picard: Now Data you can just wear that swizzle stick until you learn to keep your fingers out of your nose..
See? You stand like this. Not so close they report you, but close enough for them to sense the heat. Don't worry, Lieutenant, you'll make XO some day.
And that's how you beat the Kobayashi Maru?
No, no. That's how you win over the commandant after the Maru.
)
Everyone on the bridge, particularly Ensigns Timmy and Tammy knew that Captain Styles did not use deoderant or shower on a regular basis.
Data: Back scratcher?
Picard: Back scratcher!
Data: Back scratcher?
Worf: Back scratcher?!
"Uh...how long do we have to stand this way?"
"Until Simon Says we can move."
Worf: Finders keepers, Commander. (Starts swinging it like a batleth).
Nimoy: And here is where I would park my very own weinermobile. People could just walk right up and touch it!
Touch it! Marvel at it's awesomeness! Touch the Weinermobile!
...And, scene.
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