Movie Caption Contest #50: Bad Directions

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Commander: Captain, why don't we stop and ask for directions?
Captain Stiles: What do I look like a woman? Oh, sorry, crewman... um... woman... carry on.

Picard: Analysis, Mr. Data?
Data: Captain, as far as I can ascertain, this planet is far from a cohesive plot.

-or-

Worf: Nice hand.

 

[Candlelight]

"It's unfortunate the sun is so strong on this planet"
"Sun nothing, it's just the cameraman has the iris too over-exposed to make it look off worldy. You'd think our approaching FX shot from orbit would've told him the planet isn't really this bright."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Nimoy: Okay, Catherine, you've almost got it. Now, if you're going to suck on Shatner, you have to get on your knees next.

 

[Finn]

STYLES:"Damn it, Ensign Troi. You just scratched the port nacelle coming out of spacedock. If it was well within my powers, I'd make sure your descendants will be cursed by this for generations".

 

[Gertch]

"Your roommates just found a dead rat under your mattress. Care to explain that Mister?"
"Force of habit?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Worf: "I believe I said losing our bet would cost you an arm and a leg. Pay up."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Stiles: Look, I asked if anyone had to go the bathroom before we pulled out of spacedock. You're just going to have to hold it until we reach Rigel IV.

-or-

Stiles: Pulling out of her spacedock isn't a very manly thing to do, Commander.

 

[Gertch]

"Mr Worf I have to concur with Commander Data. Please zip your fly and wash the hand before you give it back."

 

[Candlelight]

"It's true Mr Worf, he really does know this place like the back of his hand."

 

[Candlelight]

Captain Styles was told to take a look at the hot ensign's cleavage but naturally being a twat he got the wrong ensign.

 

[archeryguy1701]

What do you mean you "lost the rest of the ship"? You have one job, and that's to keep an eye on this read out! How can you lose a whole ship?

Say anything else on the matter, Mr Data, and you may not enjoy where you find you arm.

Nimoy: Perhaps this would be more fun if we were standing face to face?

 

[Gertch]

"My... who does your toupee?"

 

[The Old Mixer]

"Mr. Worf, what you choose to do in the privacy of your quarters is, of course, your own concern...but I'll thank you not to bring the 'Anal Invader' along on away missions."

 

[Gertch]

"Oh yes, right here. Being this far back you can still feel the Magnificence of Obama's presence but without faint - Doctor? Doctor?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Data: That is not my hand, Mr. Worf. It is one of many attachments that make me fully functional.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: And you're sure that's all that remains of Lt. Valeris?

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Worf: Today is a good day for a back scratch.

 

[Triskelion]

(Whispering) Sir, the brim is too wide to enter spacedock.
You mean, the spacedock is due for immediate radical refit. Arm phasers and damn the Pez!

Data: Captain, we need to signal the ship, but the communicators are down. Could you use my radiation-resistant arm to cover your head in Morse code?
Worf: Excellent idea, Commander.
Data: I'm over here, Lieutenant.
Picard: Who the hell taught Data sarcasm....

 

[jgdst]

Captain: Bobby... this can't wait! Are you going to help me choose the wallpaper for our quarters? Is this what you're gonna be like now we're living together?! COMPUTER: ARM SELF DESTRUCT
Helmsman Bobby: Here we go again with the dramatics...

Don't you EVER leave this on my chair again!

No... seriously! I've been working with her for 20 years! Nichelle loves to be greeted this way...

 

[jgdst]

DATA: I call it "Hand of Jadzia"
WORF: WHAT?!
PICARD: Duuuuuude... not cool...
DATA: Too soon?