Movie Caption Contest #44: Action!

[Rat Boy]

Fridays and the weekend have come and gone, so it's time to tighten up that half-Windsor and hit the bricks. Our awards for outstanding achievement in the field of excellence goes to:

McCoy: Quick, give me a pill! The damn thing stole my kidney.

McCoy: "Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk..."

Kirk: and this my dear friends is how to take a drink and look like an ass doing it.

Kirk: (drunk) So then I told McCoy that we'd be having the party on the Enterprise...
Sulu: Sir, isn't the ENterprise undergoing decontamination?
Kirk: (drunk) Yup!
Chekov: Don't those Chemicals cause intense Nausea in humans?

Data breaking the silent moment: "Riveting."

Data: Sir, does tactile contact alter your perception of The Phoenix?
Picard: Oh, yes! For humans, touch can connect you to an object in a very personal way, make it seem more real.
Data: Sir, is that why you always slap Counselor Troi's ass?

TROI:"Will, quit messing around with that damn caption contest and come to bed!"

NMBR1: I gotta sign off, you know who is yammering something.

HOLOGURL: Meet me in Holodeck 3 tomorrow?

NMBR1: Maybe, if I can ditch the shrew.

And the Outstanding Award for Excellent Achievement in Photoshopping:

Riker was about to see what Troi looked like beneath her clothes & make up.

This week we're changing things up, dialing it down to two main pictures (one winner each) and occasionally, such as this week, a special bonus picture, usually Trek movie related but not lifted from the actual final cut of the film. This week, an ode to stuff blowing up on the bridge, plus a special bonus look at Captain Kirk about to have a fish bowl put on his head:

 

[Rat Boy]

Is that Sulu or the Phantom of the Opera?

Worf: "Excuse me."

Shatner: "What happened to me, DeForrest? Have I no dignity anymore?"

Kelley: "Dignity, schmignity. You should see the size of my paycheck."

 

[RobertScorpio]

Shatner : "Dee, if they replace Spock with Xon, we're fucked! I've got to find Leonard.

Deforest; "Are you sure he's down there in Oregon?"

Shatner; "Yes, he's filming an "In Search of Bigfoot" episode there tomorrow."

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "A firecracker? Damn that Chekov!"

Worf: "I told you to use a match, not a butane lighter!"

Kirk: "You don't think this makes my package stand out, do you?"

McCoy: "No, of course not." *snicker*

 

[zephramc]

Scotty: Damned exploding consoles. I hope Starfleet gets around to fixing these things one day.

Unnamed officer being blown over the tactical station: Damned exploding consoles. I hope Starfleet gets around to fixing these things one day.

Kirk: I don't understand why I need to wear this fire-retardant, protective suit. I'm only going to be working at one of the bridge's computer consoles.

McCoy: Trust me...

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "Not so inscrutable now, are ye, ye poovy shit ..."

Just for the fuck of it, a crewman pulled up Star Trek V on his workstation.

Kirk: "Just check it: these assholes switched my pisstube with my oxegen last time."

 

[Gertch]

Scotty: "Sulu, a Klingon gerbil??? Don't you know those are genetically engineered to explode - gaaaah!"

Work: "I have beaten you. I am now Tactical Officer."

Kirk: "An odyssey back to 2001 Bones. I'll be wonderful."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Scott: "Sulu, I told you hooking that fleshlight under your console directly into the warp drive was a bad idea, but would you listen?"

Ensign Bo Duke kept being reprimanded for sliding over the consoles and setting off the self destruct.

Kirk: "What idiot got rid of the female yeomen? I used to look forward to being dressed."

McCoy: "I saw Sulu hovering around the suggestion box in Headquarters..."

Kirk: "We'll have a peace treaty with the Klingons before I sign off on him getting a command!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Black yeoman: "But can it contain his ego?"

 

[Gertch]

Black yeoman (thinking): "What is that slug like thing? Don't suppose it's anything to be concerned about."

 

[Shatmandu]

After the way Kirk treated the non-coms, Crewman Ricky wasn't sorry for spending the entire day farting into that helmet.

Scotty: "If that's yer rechargable Fleshlight overloadin' the console, I'll cut yer tube off at the stump!"

The secondary explosion, when Kirk's belt let his gut loose, was not as bright but just as troublesome.

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

The crew began coming to grips with Kirk's Alzheimer's when he started mistaking the navigational console for a urinal.

After Ensign Dumas installed Vista on the tactical station, the Borg were the least of their worries.

Shatner: "And at the end, I get to wrestle God Himself! It'll make for a great film."

Kelley (thinking): "There's got to be a way to cut the air off in that suit."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SULU: Next time book a no smoking flight!

 

[cooleddie74]

"BORGAS Radio Shack parts!!!"

The first time a heavy metal show was permitted on the bridge of a Federation starship quickly became the last.

McCOY:"Do you even know what the hell you're doing, Jim?"

KIRK:"Do I ever?

There's a slim chance I can seduce this V'Ger thing and get some. I have to try."

 

[cooleddie74]

"NO!!!

The bottle of Dr. Pepper!!!"

 

[Maurice]

KIRK
But it wasn't a dream -- it was a place.
And you -- and you -- and you -- and you were
there.
(excited)
Oh, but anyway, Bones, we're home. Home! And this
is my ship, and you're all here. And I'm not gonna
leave here ever, ever again, because I love you all,
and—oh, Bones—there's no place like home!

BONES
Tranquilizers. Stat.

 

[cooleddie74]

When all the men's lavatories ON the ship weren't working, desperate measures had to be taken...

 

[scottydog]

These caption photos remind me of Peter Pan. So in keeping with that thought....

Worf, as Captain Hook...

Sulu, as tinkerbell...

...and William Shatner, as the Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Borgas FRAT!!!

Now Sulu's got to go in the basement and throw the switch."

 

[The Cutest of Borg]

Shatner: "Shut up wiseass, I saw what you were wearing in the last caption contest!"