"My wallet!!!"
SCHLITZ
Good times with old friends
Old stories and laughs
Really gay jumpsuits
Movie Caption Contest # 43: Casual Fridays
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
"My wallet!!!"
SCHLITZ
Good times with old friends
Old stories and laughs
Really gay jumpsuits
PICARD:"Sadly, it's got more bumps to feel than my old high school sweetheart."
DEANNA:"Are you done yet, Will? I want you...bad."
WILL:"And since I just cranked out a fistful of knuckle children to hardcore Orion web pics, that's just how you'll be getting me...BAD."
McCoy: Quick, give me a pill! The damn thing stole my kidney.
Kirk: If I have to spend the evening with you losers, then I'm going to be plastered.
Chekov: Keptin, do you know you're drinking rat poison?
Sulu and Uhura: Shhhh! Let the man drink!
Picard: Data, I've dreamed about this for years. Would you excuse me? I'd like to be alone.
Data: Is it an overwhelming sentimental experience?
Picard: No. I've got a technology fetish and I want to blast off a few knuckle children.
Fifteen years of marriage...
Troi: Will! Would you just get off the damn Internet? I've been waiting for thirty minutes, already.
Riker: I'm busy... just take care of yourself, tonight.
Troi: Do I need to call Worf, again? He never makes me wait.
Riker: Sure, go ahead. I doubt he'll come for you. Klingons don't like desperation.
"Excuse me while I push my hernia back in"
The following morning, Kirk and the others went back in time to retrive some whales and a traffic cone.
"Picard to Crusher, bring the-"
"I know, glue remover again. You really oughta watch out for that"
"Time to update the antivirus again"
"Will, come to bed-"
"NO! ANTIVIRUS!"
McCoy: A la tuhuelpa legria macarena. Que tuhuelce paralla legria cosabuena. A la tuhuelpa legria macarena Eeeh, macarena! A-Hai!
Uhura and Chekov wondered what prank to pull on Kirk if he passed out. Makeup and lipstick? Shave off an eyebrow? Sulu, however, had other plans for the Admiral...
Data: Sir, does tactile contact alter your perception of The Phoenix?
Picard: Oh, yes! For humans, touch can connect you to an object in a very personal way, make it seem more real.
Data: Sir, is that why you always slap Counselor Troi's ass?
** In the same vein as chancellorjake **
Five years of marriage...
Troi: Will I'm going to bed now...
Riker: Mmhmm...
Troi: Would you like to join me?
Riker: Mmhmm...
Troi: Will..? Will..? Will!
Riker: Mmhmm...
Troi: Will, are you even listening to me!?
Riker: Mmhmm...
Troi: Uhhg... You're impossible!
Riker: Mmhmm...
Troi: I'M GOING TO BED! GOOD NIGHT!
Riker: Mmhmm...
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All Seeing Eye
Admiral
Kirk: and this my dear friends is how to take a drink and look like an ass doing it.
McCoy: Holy crap i'm having a heart attack, where's the god damn doctor.
Ensign: You're the doctor, there's no other doctor onboard.
McCoy: Well I never saw that coming, damn you Starfleet, damn you to hell.
Data: I'm detecting imperfections in the hull, similar to the imperfections in your shiny bald scalp.
Troi: are you coming to bed Will?
Riker: No honey, i'm not tired.
Troi: Thats not what I meant.
Riker: What else do you mean when you ask am I coming to bed?
Troi: You're an idiot.
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"Crewman, where's my damned kidney?"
"Vulcan sir, orders of Commander Spock."
"Why that green blooded son of a..."
Kirk: "Uh oh! Hlllf! Mm Gnnn MMM nnnggg nnk nnn ggg mmmm!"
Chekov: "What was that Captain?"
Kirk: "Ggg nnngg, Hlllf! Mm Gnnn MMM nnnggg nnk nnn ggg MMMM GGGttt!"
Uhura: "He said, 'Help, I've got my tongue stuck in the glass dammit!"
Sulu: "I didn't know you could translate that... You're good!"
Uhura: "It isn't the first time he's got his tongue stuck..."
Kirk: "MmmmNNnggggg!"
Sulu: "Oh my!"
McCoy: "Okay Scotty, Where the damn blue blazes did you beam my wallet?"
Picard: "Sometimes you can form a connection with something through tactile contact, gain a sense of history, of grandeur..."
Troi offscreen: "When you two have done bonding with the portaloo will you come over here and help me with the Phoenix?"
Troi: "Will you stop sulking?"
Riker: "I'm not sulking..."
Troi: "We've been over this, we're not having a threesome with Minuet in the holodeck."
Riker: "Not fair, we had Worf over last month."
Troi: "That was different Will, he's our friend, not a glorified sex toy."
Riker: "My arse is still sore."
Troi: "Okay, I did the enema. What else does it say?"
McCoy: "I saw what that fucking idiot Rand did to the Vulcan earlier! Who did she blow to get to be a transporter ch- ... Oh, hey Janice ..."
Sulu: "So how do these key parties work?"
Troi: "You're not going to find any more weight-loss tips on there."
Riker: "Yeah, yeah ..."
Troi: "Why don't you burn some calories by fucking your wife for a change?!?"
Riker: "Leave me alone!!!"
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McCoy always forgot his stamped pass when he tried to get back inside the nightclub.
SULU:"NO!!!
That was my sample for the sperm bank!"
DATA:"I am detecting imperfections in the titanium casing...temperature gradations across the spectrum...large..."
PICARD:"Shut UP, Data.
I'm trying to get an erection over here."
Deanna always hated those nights when Will found new links to erectile dysfunction help sites.
Picard: Isn't it amazing? This ship used to be a nuclear missile.
Data: It's an historical irony that Dr. Cochrane would choose an instrument of mass destruction to inaugurate an era of peace. And that Captain Sulu would later use it as a butt plug.
Deanna's sex life took a downward spiral when Riker discovered the Kirk/Spock slashfic on the TrekBBS.
Along those same lines....
Deanna: "Will, what are you looking at when you could be with me in bed?"
Riker: "Uhhh... Just another minute, dear!"
"How 'bout a PopTart ... filled with really nasty meat?" *HOTPOCKET!!!*
McCoy: Hey, just wait one damn minute.
I was full of Taco Bell before transporting aboard and now I'm not. Damn thing cleaned me out.
No, Data, don't call the bridge. We are going to stay right here until the superglue wears off.
Now I understand why you spend so much time alone, Captain.
Uhura: That's incredible. That was the fifth roofie and still no discernible effect.
Kirk: I told you. I've built up an immunity.
Dang, I forgot my lucky condom.
Thanks for the win in the last contest!
"Now where in the hell did the rest of my body hair go?"
Uhura/Sulu/Chekov: "That's right...drink it up you smug bastard. Just a little while now..."
"They rub the lotion on its skin or else it gets the lubricant again."
Troi: "Can you turn that thing off?"
Riker: "I should say the same to you...."
"Now where in the hell did the rest of my body hair go?"
Uhura/Sulu/Chekov: "That's right...drink it up you smug bastard. Just a little while now..."
"They rub the lotion on its skin or else it gets the lubricant again."
Troi: "Can you turn that thing off?"
Riker: "I should say the same to you...."
