Movie Caption Contest #150: The FAIL Frontier

[Candlelight]

The fat woman had never seen a furrier fart in all her life.

Spock (thinking): "47 monitors in this room and he wants to look at this one..."

Chekov: "Hey, dickhead!"

*Chekov runs, leaving Sulu alone in the corridor with the angry Klingon*

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: I'll talk to Uhura about upgrading the system. Slow porn downloads are quite frustrating.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk: "We've crossed over into the San Fransico system, you know..."

 

[Mistral]

Large Marge: "How'd she get this gig, anyway? Hers sag worse than mine!"

 

[Mistral]

Kirk: "Spock, its a joke! See, the donkey and the parrot-oh, never mind. You Vulcans really don't get it, do you?"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: Stop whining, Spock.

EVERYONE loses a few Facebook friends every now and then. It's the way of the universe.

 

[cooleddie74]

LARGE MARGE: Nice tail, Honey.

If ya wanna keep it, stop draggin' it through my best cognac and Saurian brandy!!

 

[Trekker4747]

Furry fetish bars... OF THE FUTURE!!!

Kirk: I told you, you never forget your first Goatse, now check out that "One Cup" video.

Sulu: "Man, she's got an ass on her like Bradley Cooper!"
Chekov: "I'll take your vord vor it."

 

[cooleddie74]

Take me down to the Paradise City.

Where the beer is green...and the girls have three titties.

SPOCK: But...it is NOT a "chipmunk," Jim.

No matter how dramatic it actually IS.

VIXIS: Like what you see, Earthmen?

SULU: Depends.

You got a brother?

 

[Maurice]

LARGE MARGE: I said I wanted a little pussy!

KIRK: You look like you've seen a ghost.
SPOCK: Yes, and he's looking for Mrs. Muir.

CHEKOV: <lame sexist comment>
SULU: <tired gay joke>

 

[Rat Boy]

CHEKOV: <lame sexist comment>
SULU: <tired gay joke>

Vixis: <obligatory kick in the nads>

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk: <witty joke at Spock's expense with possibly some 20th century reference>
Spock: <mandatory raised eyebrow>

 

[Maurice]

Kirk: <witty joke at Spock's expense with possibly some 20th century reference>
Spock: <mandatory raised eyebrow>

TREKKIES: <guffaw and quote it>
MASS AUDIENCE: <stays away in droves>

 

[Isis]

The judges of America's Got Talent were split on the most recent contestant. Howie Mandel was totally enraptured but Sharon Osborne made no attempt to hide her revulsion.

Kirk: "What do you mean that 'you just realized you left the coffee pot on'"?

 

[Isis]

Corpulent matron: "OK, everyone, I'm giving you fair warning...I'm ready to sing."

 

[T'Boggan]

Big mama " The cocktail favours in this barjust keep getting freakin' weirder and weirder"

Kirk: "Spock....I didnt know it was your Snickers bar or I would never have put it there in the first place"

Chekov: "So we just follow till we get to the toilets... if its the mens door...you owe me ten credits!"

Sulu: "If its the mens door I'll give you ten credits and a ten yard start! "

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

When Grace Bros. went bankrupt during the financial crisis, Mrs. Slocombe and her pussy had to make ends meat by working at a dive pub.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk: <witty joke at Spock's expense with possibly some 20th century reference>
Spock: <mandatory raised eyebrow>

Spock: <Random Carl Spock joke about bitches>
Kirk: <off hand comment about forked penis>
Sulu off screen "OH MY..."

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK: ...did the computer databanks list the ancient Earth quote as "Blessed are the CHEESEMAKERS"?

Highly illogical.

KIRK: I'm sure the databanks weren't referring SPECIFICALLY to quotes about cheese. Most likely references to ancient makers of ANY kind of dairy-based product...

 

[cooleddie74]

MALE PATRON: HEY...fatass!

BITCH!!

I've got ten minutes before my four wives beam home and I need to get goin'...can we stop starin' at the cat lady's three titties and get me that Denobulan ale I asked for?