Movie Caption Contest #104: Buddy Movies

[Rat Boy]

You can stop pounding your head against the wall to get that song out of your head, because it's time for another caption contest. First, as usual, let's give a spoonful of sugar to...

For finally explaining what General Order #4 is, our winner is...

Scotty: Hello Computer
Computer: Flagrant System Error. Abort? Retry? Fail?
Scotty: What the devil?
Nichols: Oh yeah, we installed BootCamp on the computer, its running Windows
McCoy: You didn't just say the W-word did you?
Scotty: Aye laddy, now we have to kill ye... where we come from runnin' Windows is the only crime left that ye can be excuted for on the spot.

And for the joke so good that it was almost immediately bogarted, our winner is...

"Kill him! He's the one who made The Final Frontier!"

For explaining the only way a man can scream loud enough to break glass, our winner is...

RIKER:"Another damn kidney stone?!

What the hell does he EAT?!?"

Now, onto the Photoshop awards, of which there are several this time around. First up, a special animated one...

And the winner of the "Fill in the Button" gag is the one who started it...

And the winner of the "Guess what Rat Boy's Thinking" contest...

Shatner Kirk: Real captains don't wear coats from L.L. Bean. SHOOT HIM!

And finally the granddaddy of them all, which this time around was a tag team effort...

Now this is usually the part where I congratulate the winners, but first we have some business to take care of. With the latest feature film starting to gradually bow out of theaters, I felt it was time to integrate the results of the Trek XI Caption Contest into this one and when I did I noticed that the combined totals pushed a pair of our members into Hall of Fame contention. middyseafort and the gone but not forgotten Outpost4 are now among the ranks of Grignak medallion bearers. Congratulations, guys:

And, as for the rest of our winners...

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 48
Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 47
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 41
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 28
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 26
The Laughing Vulcan (Hall of Fame) 23
middyseafort (Hall of Fame) 22
Outpost4 (Hall of Fame) 21
Triskelion 19
Turd Ferguson 17
Diesel Micky Dolenz 14
Nebusj 11
scottydog 11
DS9Sega 11
Skywalker 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
zephramc 10
LeadHead 10
Herkimer Jitty 10
Alrik 10
BriGuy 9
Tharpdevenport 9
Kegek 8
Kirby 8
cultcross 7
John_Picard 6
Atavachron 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
jptrekker 5
Bad Atom 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Peach Wookie 4
TheGallifreyanSith 4
Mistral 4
Woulfe 4
Piper 4
captain crow 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
Daneel 3
Amasov 3
SalvorHardin 3
B.J. 3
Hartzilla2007 3
Classic Fan 3
M'Sharak 3
Civil Shadow 3
The Squire of Gothos 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
thedude 2
S'Kai 2
Deranged Nasat 2
seigezunt 2
trampledamage 2
protocida 2
BriGuy 2
26138 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
T'Boggan 1
Dimesdan 1
shivkala 1
KirkusOveractus 1
CTM 1
Emperor-Tiberius 1
Alpha_Geek 1
Zachary_Smith 1
Plum 1
3 of 11 1
jongredic 1
Super Grover 1
T'Aerwynd 1
shivkala 1
Jackson_Roykirk 1
The Badger 1
Captain Zog 1
J. Allen 1
Lashmore 1
NickRyder 1

And congratulations to you guys, as well. This week, we delve deeper into the film's penchant for focusing on the friendships between the two leads. First up is the debut of an image from J.J. Abrams' Star Trek in our little contest, featuring Chris Pine and Zach Quinto watching their co-star Rachel Nichols in bed on Valentine's Day with her G.I. Joe co-star Sienna Miller. Second, we have Admiral Kirk dreading the auditions for a new best friend. Finally, we have Data giving Captain Picard his hair-growing chip as a birthday present. Happy captioning:

 

[Rat Boy]

Pine: "Audrina's dating that guy?"

Quinto: "Dude, let her go."

Kirk: "But I bought two non-refundable tickets to Risa."

Data: "In case I do not make it, I want you to have this."

Picard: "What is it?"

Data: "My dignity."

 

[SeerSGB]

Canonist to the left of them, Canonist to the right of them, volley and thunder. Pine and Quinto attend their first and last 'Trek convention.

Picard: Is that the new emergency transporter chip?
Data: No sir, it's a flashdrive of all my Riker/Worf slash-fics. My IP is banned and I figured I could use the Scimitar to get around it.

 

[Itisnotlogical]

How The Search for Spock really happened...
Kirk: "Hey Spock, Saavik's having her Ponn-Farr!"
Spock: *alive again* "I'm tired of being dead now!"
Kirk: "But she's not played by Kirstie Alley now..."
Spock: "... dammit."

Aight, my first experiment with Photoshop, let's see how it goes!

"God damn you Data, if it's "I'm Blue" by Eiffel 65 again I am murdering you."

 

[Shatmandu]

Ah, I love a good win! Nichols looks like the type. Thanks!

Kirk: "The movie's almost over. How many more times could I get the shit beat out of me?"

Kirk: "... Who'll I play Jenga with? <sobs>"

Picard: "It doesn't work."
Data: "No sir, I said 'ear'. Put it in your ear."
Picard: "... Oh. I don't want it back."

Kirk: "I wish it were me in there ..."
Scotty: "I do to."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Spock: "Captain, i believe Dr. McCoy forgot to give you this one last innoculation. Please drop your draws.

Kirk: "But that's a phaser!"

Spock: "Oh. Yes. So it is. My mistake".

 

[Deranged Nasat]

"I thought we were friends, Spock. But this is the containment compartment, isn't it? The safe zone's on that side. The radiation in here must be off the charts..."

Spock: *hysterical laughter between gasps for breath, punctured by giggling*

"This is my most precious memory chip, Captain. It contains the electronic essence of my libido. In the event of my untimely death, plug this into holodeck four and activate Program Data-Tasha 7. Don't worry, I checked with Maddox and this is 100% legal, or near enough".

 

[Captain Crow]

Thanks for choosing me as one of the winners Rat Boy.

The Ambiguously Gay Duo!

Kirk: Damn! He still owed me twenty bucks.

Data: Here sir, take this.

Picard: Is that some newfangled doohickey that will save the day?

Data: No sir, it's breath mint. Your breath stinks.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Fuckin' Khan ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "He has the keys to my apartment in there."

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks for the win Rat Boy! And congrats to Nerys Myk too for an awesome addition to the cap. I feel like Batman and Superman getting together to fight Bizarro Joker.

Congrats also to middyseafort and Outpost4 for their much-deserved entry into the HOF! Hope Outpost4 is well wherever his trail leads, and hope it's not the last we've seen of him!

Kirk: Get ready to point your pointy thing at Nero.
Spock: <raises eyebrow, unzips>

Spock <whispering dying words>: Hell of a place for a racquetball court.

Data: See Captain? I told you I could pass a transistor on command.

If only we didn't use a transparent aluminum plasma conduit cap! Who's the idiot who invented that crap anyway?

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I believe we have located the bathroom."

Kirk: "No shit, Sherlock. God, this place smells like a cow died in here."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"I'll sneak up on him from the back...you spritz him with the gay-ass Super Soaker you've got there.

Got it?"

"Damn.

And he never told me the punchline to the Ferengi-gorilla joke."

DATA:"Here, sir.

It is the movie's Win Processor. Apparently, it had never even been installed."

 

[cooleddie74]

LETHAL WEAPON 24

We're Gettin' too Temporal for this Shit...

 

[Daneel]

SPOCK: "Jim... could you >cough< could you do one last thing for me?"

KIRK: "Of course Spock, anything."

SPOCK: "Tell -- >gasp< Tell Doctor McCoy... he's annoying."

PICARD: "Don't worry, Data, we'll cross the border into Federation space in minutes... Then we'll be safe."

DATA: "Ah yes, I see... very... very good. Captain, will you do me a favour? Before we pass through the customs checkpoint, could you swallow this for me?"

PICARD: "Um, Data, what exactly is --"

DATA: "Sir, trust me, the less you know, the better."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Damn.

And he never told me where he hid the key to my strongbox."

DATA:"You may need this, sir.

A site-to-site transport activator Geordi developed after he got bored looking at the same Risan porno site for the fifth night in a row."

 

[cooleddie74]

"That's NOT a men's automatic razor, Spock...you'd best not...NO...


Ahhhh, screw it. Your loss."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Look at it this way, Spock. At least we won't have to do this shit in our seventies."

"Note to the galley: Pork and beans are NOT to be served before Mr. Scott's monthly reactor room cleanup."

"In case anything happens to me, Captain, here is the pussy magnet you requisitioned for the Argo."

 

[cooleddie74]

"You sneak up on Captain Nero from behind and try to stun him...I'll go down to the lower decks of this thing...find a female Romulan...and try to bang her!"

Love means never having to use Windex.

"Here, Captain...Mister Worf will be wanting this back.

It is a Klingon prophylactic he claims he used on both Ambassador K'Eylehr and Commander Jadzia Dax."

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty, offscreen: "Aw, c'mon, luv: pull down those nickers and let me have a bash."
Uhura: "Tee-hee. Okay."

Kirk: "Shit. No more driving in the car-pool lane."