Movie Caption Contest #103: These are a Few of My Favorite Scenes

[Rat Boy]

Why so blue, Ray? After all, it's time for another caption contest. First up, as always, let's digitally scrub...

Our first winner, as you can see, is really an inglorious basterd (see what I did there?) for this inspired movie caption...

McCoy: "Dammit Jim, why do you keep bringing your messes to me to keep clearing up?
Kirk: "Bones, don't even worry about that..."
McCoy: "No, No, No, No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front that said Dead Ensign Storage?"
Kirk: "Bones, you know I ain't seen no..."
McCoy: "Did you notice a sign out in front of my sickbay that said Dead Ensign Storage?"
Kirk: [pause] "No. I didn't."
McCoy: "You know WHY you didn't see that sign?"
Kirk: "Why?"
McCoy: "'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead ensigns ain't my fucking business, that's why!"
Scott: "Aye, but there is a sign saying 'Ship's Morgue'."

For the babysitter you don't want to mess around with, our winner is...

Spock: Sorry Doctor, but its time for bed.

In lieu of a Photoshop award this time, I'm giving out a special tag-team award for the following captions...

Kirk: "Have his girlfriend report to my quarters, for some ... counseling."

Scotty: Sir, he was gay.
Kirk: Then send his boyfriend to my quarters, for some counseling.

Scotty: "He was also into animals"
Kirk: "Send the sheep in too then. For some counceling"
Scotty: "And farm equipment"
Kirk: "And farm- what?"
Scotty: "It gets cold and boring in the highlands"

Congratulations (I think) to our winners and here are the updated totals:

Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 46
Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 42
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 33
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 28
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 25
The Laughing Vulcan (Hall of Fame) 23
Triskelion 18
Outpost4 16
Turd Ferguson 16
middyseafort 15
Diesel Micky Dolenz 14
Nebusj 11
scottydog 11
DS9Sega 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
zephramc 10
LeadHead 10
BriGuy 9
Tharpdevenport 9
Kegek 8
cultcross 7
Alrik 7
John_Picard 6
Atavachron 6
Herkimer Jitty 6
Skywalker 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Kirby 4
jptrekker 4
Bad Atom 4
Peach Wookie 4
TheGallifreyanSith 4
Mistral 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
captain crow 3
Daneel 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
thedude 2
S'Kai 2
Deranged Nasat 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
BriGuy 1
26138 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
Civil Shadow 1
Piper 1
T'Boggan 1
Dimesdan 1
shivkala 1
KirkusOveractus 1
CTM 1
Emperor-Tiberius 1

This week we'll be doing another theme as in a few of my favorite bits from the film. First up, as befitting the fact that transparent aluminum was really invented last week, we have Scotty realizing that he's not a Mac, he's an LCARS. Second, we have William Shatner covering Billy Idol's "Dancing with Myself" as only Shatner can. Finally, we have Riker witnessing Cochrane and Troi get into a belching contest and suprisingly, Troi's winning. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Nichols: "You do realize he's trying to talk to the porn?"

McCoy: "It's his way."

Klingon warden: "Wait, how did Spock solve this one in 'Whom Gods Destroy?'"

Riker: "Oh, I see you found my piss jar."

 

[LeadHead]

Scotty: I can't talk to Macs?
Nichols: Sorry, only works with PC's.

Why won't you let either of us be in the new movie?

Zephram Cochrane hated being mistaken for the Farmer in Babe.

 

[Captain Crow]

McCoy: Sixteen, blue eyes, blonde and 36DDD knockers! Just my type! Order that one.

Scotty: Aye.

Nicholes: You do realise it's probably a dumpy fourty year old balding guy with c-cup man boobs.

Scotty: Breaker 1-9. Breaker 1-9. This is Big Haggis and Doctor Snowman.

Kirk: Shoot the me that's in that general direction!

Cochrane: Shit! I've caught myself in my pants zipper!

 

[Rat Boy]

Bill Corbett: "Oh no; dueling Shatners."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk on right: "Heil Shatner!"

OR:


"Not me! He's the one who can't do the Vulcan speace sign. And wears a wig."

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "Haggis and a single-malt scotch." *waits* "What's the hell's wrong with this bloody replicator?"

Nichols: "Just use the waiter."

 

[LeadHead]

Scotty: Hello Computer! Are you a laptop?
Computer: I am SO not going there!

 

[SeerSGB]

McCoy: ~snicker~ They're really falling for it.
Nichols: I don't think this is a good idea, the mods are in a bad mood today.
Scotty: What the hell, permaban!!

Cochrane: Stop..STOP...STOP NO TEETH
Riker: Deanna what have I told you about letting Data nozzle the historical figures?

 

[Daneel]

SCOTTY: "So, hotty_girl69, why don't you show me a picture of your 'ample nacelles', if you'll pardon the engineering parlance? If you've got the goods, maybe we could arrange a little meeting..."

NICHOLS: "Uh, you have to type messages in these chat rooms."

SCOTTY: "Type... How quaint."

RIKER: "Amazing -- so he actually thinks you're giving him a blowjob right now?"

TROI: "It seemed like the only way to get him to stop hitting on me."

RIKER: "I had no idea you could affect people like this telepathically!"

TROI: "I usually can't, but... well, like I said, it's a very primitive culture."

 

[Mistral]

Kirk(?) : "He's obviously the fake! Only half of his face is sunburnt, making him a poor copy of the real thing!"

Guard rolls eyes, follows Klingon custom, kills both.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Scotty: "Hullo, I'm a bloody Mac."

Nichols: "And I'm a PC."

McCoy: "And I'm a Linux. Heh heh heh."

Shatner On Right: "Shoot him! He's the one who directed Star Trek: V!"

Riker: "What in blazes is Doctor Cochrane doing to that tape deck?"

Troi: "It's his way."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"As floor manager of this factory, I think I'D be the one to know that there isn't a Mike Hunt that works here."

"Kill him! He's the one who made The Final Frontier!"

"It took three shots of something called tequila, and his rendition of Rocket Man, just to find out he's the one we're looking for!"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Herkimer Jitty: "Kill Turd! He's the one who stole my caption!"

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Herkimer Jitty: "Kill Turd! He's the one who stole my caption!"

Whoops! Somehow I missed that one

 

[Shatmandu]

Hey, a win! Thanks much!

Scotty: "Amateur MILF tits, please, computahr."

Odd how tall Shatner sees himself, isn't it?

Troi: "Lemme ... lemme finish, finish my drink, and then I wanna fuck a legend."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Herkimer Jitty: "Kill Turd! He's the one who stole my caption!"

Whoops! Somehow I missed that one

S'all cool, baby.

Cochrane: "We got to move these color TEEEVEEEEEES!!!"

Riker: "Hula hooma!"

Troi: (sigh)

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY:"Aye, lads!

This new Norelco razor...she's the best moustache trimmin' device I've seen in ANY bloody century!!"

Martia Kirk:"Fine...you can kill us BOTH if you wish. But that won't change the bad drapes hanging from that wall over there!!"

RIKER:"How much DID he drink, Deanna?

Is he a camel or something?!"

 

[cooleddie74]

The new interactive AMERICAN IDOL PC game failed...for many...many reasons.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Cochrane: "Screw you guys! I'm goin' home!"