Movie Caption Contest #102: Blu-Ray Blues - The Wrath of Khan

[Rat Boy]

Well, I know you all have been waiting a long time for this, so without further ado, let's get this new one rolling with...

First up, we have some old business to take care of with judging for the 100th Movie Caption Contest as selected by our Hall of Fame panel. Before we get started, I'd like to thank them for their participation and without further ado, let's get down to it. Our first winner comes by way of The Laughing Vulcan...

"This is awkward Bones... I remember the last time I had to tell a group of people I gave them an STD..."

The next winner, as selected by Gertch, is...

Picard: "I understand his important place in Klingon society, but please do not shout 'BREATH OF KAHLESS!' before you break wind."

Speak of the devil, Shatmandu's selection for the next winner is...

Spock's reeducation process was going along swimmingly...until he found The Trek BBS.

Sensing a trend here? Unfortunately, cooleddie74 was unable to participate, so I had to step in and select a winner...

Sulu: Oh. Hello Captain. This one won't be calling me "Tiny" any more.

Next, we have a winner from Nerys Myk...

Gorkon: That was a DELIGHTFUL dinner, Captain. In a show of goodwill toward the Klingon Empire, I must insist you share your secret recipe.

Kirk: It was Shake 'n' Bake. And I helped!

Finally, we have our selection in from Candlelight...

Soran: "I just had a thought. I mean, this is unsafe. I mean, really, really unsafe. Someone could fall, break something, even be crushed to death under this bridge. Maybe we should postpone the fight"

Picard: "Hmmm, he has a point. What do you think, Kirk?"

Kirk: "Oh, don't be a wuss, Picard. Let's get on with it".

But, what caption contest would be complete without a Photoshop winner?

Sulu: "Ummmmm ... you really are a Spaceball, aren't you?"

Officer: "Sorry, sir, doing the best I can.

Well, that's a lot easier when you have other people do it for you. Stay tuned as the next post will wrap up Contest #101.

 

[Rat Boy]

Now then, let's get on to the...

...of Caption Contest #101. Our first winner gives us an R-Rated sequel to "Samaritan Snare" that I doubt anyone wants to see...

PICARD: "Enterprise to away team, report."

RIKER: "Riker here, sir. I'm afraid it's worse than we expected."

PICARD: "No survivors on the Pakled vessel?"

RIKER: "What? No, no, everyone on board is fine. But it turns out this is a nudist ship."

PICARD: "My god..."

And for finding the right cartoon to go with the picture, our winner is...

[Shameless Family Guy Reference]

Data: What if they come in a different door?
Picard: Well, I guess we'd all get up and go to that door.


[/Shameless Family Guy Reference]

For showing what women really do care about in that day and age, our winner is...

Beverly: "Have you noticed how your boobs have started to firm up?"

Deanna: "Sure have. I just hope this place is having the same effect
on Will's gut and ass."

When I selected this last picture, I had envisioned the running gag to follow would involve LeVar Burton's Twitter feed. Little did I know where it would go (or according to Whoopi, where we didn't go) and our winner got things kicked off with this...

Geordi: "Really? You don't think we've been to the moon?"
Guinan: "That's right."
Geordi: "Even though there are over a million people living on it?"
Guinan: "Hoax."

And, quite appropriately, our Photoshop winner followed the same trend...

"And now you're becoming the Moon"
"No I'm not"

Congratulations to all of our winners over the past couple of weeks and here are our updated totals:

Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 45
Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 42
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 33
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 27
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 25
The Laughing Vulcan (Hall of Fame) 22
Triskelion 18
Outpost4 16
Turd Ferguson 16
middyseafort 14
Diesel Micky Dolenz 14
Nebusj 11
scottydog 11
DS9Sega 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
zephramc 10
LeadHead 10
BriGuy 9
Tharpdevenport 9
Kegek 8
cultcross 7
Alrik 7
John_Picard 6
Atavachron 6
Herkimer Jitty 6
Skywalker 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Kirby 4
jptrekker 4
Bad Atom 4
Peach Wookie 4
TheGallifreyanSith 4
Mistral 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
captain crow 3
Daneel 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
thedude 2
S'Kai 2
Deranged Nasat 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
BriGuy 1
26138 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
Civil Shadow 1
Piper 1
T'Boggan 1
Dimesdan 1
shivkala 1
KirkusOveractus 1
CTM 1

This week, we continue poking fun at the new Blu-Ray releases and we'll dial it back to two pictures this time since these last couple of contests kind of overwhelmed me. First up, we have Kirk wondering if he should yell at the late Mr. Preston for getting blood all over his favorite shirt. Second, we have Spock putting an end to Dr. McCoy's latest karaoke performance. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "He's dead, Jim."

Kirk: "Don't tell me that, tell that to Mr. I Dinnae Know Where The Bloody Sickbay Was."

Spock: "Sorry, Doctor, you were already in a picture this caption contest."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Scott: "What's that smell?"
McCoy: "Barbecue sauce."
Kirk: "Dibs on the ribs."
Scott shocked: "Heathens! savages! Have yae not heard o' gravy?"

Spock: "Sorry Doctor, I'm going to need you as my 'get out of Shakaree free card.'"

 

[LeadHead]

McCoy: Oh no! He got his blood on both of you!
Kirk: What's wrong?
McCoy: The ancient curse!
Scotty: What curse?
Kirk: You both have to go on diets right now otherwise, you'll both gain a lot of weight!

Spock arrived in Engineering just in time to stop McCoy from dipping Scotty's hand in warm water.

 

[LeadHead]

Preston: I see the light! I'm walking toward it.... there's God! He says "Don't you dare put me in The Final Frontier!

 

[Triskelion]

McCoy: He's dead, uh...LINE!

This would be a lot less painful, Doctor, if you would just drink on duty like the rest of us.

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "... while the other trainees ran!"
McCoy: "He was just a janitor, for shit's sake. He stood by a mop bucket."

Spock: "I don't have time for your usual horseshit exposition, Doctor."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Spock tries his best to make sure non of the unsuspecting Engineering staff "remember" seeing Sulu's midnight Tholian sex orgy.

Kirk: "Sorry ... Iiiiii ... justdon'tknowhow ... powerful my aw-some-ness can be."

 

[Shatmandu]

Sentient Blood Stain on Kirk's Tunic, to self: "I'm moving, a.s.a.p."

Scotty: "The trainees tried to deep-fry a turkey ... I dunno why they dinna thaw the fuckin' beast first ..."

 

[SmoothieX]

I'm sorry doctor, I have no time to discuss your leisure suit logically.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Call me when someone dies who's credited before the movie, unkay? <turns, leaves>"

Preston: "Uncle Scotty? I won't tell them where you touched m-- <dies>"

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"He was a fine engineer, Scotty. And I realize your nephew just died, but you wouldn't happen to have a Clorox Bleach Pen on you, would you? If this stain settles, I'll never get it out!"

"REMEMBER... well, except for that time we drank the Romulan Ale and 'experimented.' REMEMBER everything. Except that."

 

[Candlelight]

"Aw Scotty... I know you tried everything you could... but that isn't McCoy... and this is the Galley. If you want him to be deep fried then stay here but otherwise best keep looking for Sickbay"

Bedtime on the engineering level, with Spock the Sleep Fairy administering the night-night juice.

 

[LeadHead]

McCoy: He's dead Jim!

Kirk: Whew! That's a relief.

McCoy: What do you mean?

Kirk: There were rumors that somebody important was gonna die in this movie. I guess we're all safe now. I'll tell Spock.

 

[SeerSGB]

Scotty: He stuck his head in the microwave to try to get himself a tan.
Kirk: Damn you Weird Al!!

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Damn, he got blood on my favorite Admirals Uniform.
Preston: You... won't... need... it...anymore...(dies)

 

[Daneel]

Thanks for the win.

SPOCK: "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a babysitter! Oh no, not the transporter, AHHH!!"

SCOTTY: "Sorry Spock, but I can still see your lips moving. It's just not doing it for me."

SPOCK: "I see. It appears, then, that I will need to spend much more time practicing before "The Amazing Spocko and Doc Bones" is performance-worthy."

SCOTTY: "Oh, bloody hell... Haven't you thought that maybe ventriloquism just isn't for you? You don't have to be the best at everything, you know!"

 

[Rat Boy]

The Stevie Wonder impersonation was the last straw.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thank you very much for the win!

I'll post an entry for this contest tomorrow, I think.