Little Green Men Line-by-Line

[Orac]

Rom: Don't bother me now.

 

[JanewayRulz!]

NOG: But doesn't this Gabriel Bell human look just like Captain Sisko?

 

[May 20]

QUARK: All humans look alike. Thought I told you to take us out of warp.

 

[Orac]

Rom: I'm trying, brother, but the warp core isn't responding. It looks like the command sequencer has been disabled. I don't understand. I tested everything. The only way this could've happened is if the command sequencer was designed to fail.

 

[Hopeful Romantic]

NOG: You mean sabotage?

 

[mattman8907]

QUARK: Cousin Gaila.

 

[May 20]

NOG: He never did like you very much, Uncle.

 

[Athena28]

QUARK: OK, OK. No need to panic. So the warp drive won't shut down. What's the worst thing that could happen?

 

[Orac]

Rom: The ship could continue accelerating until it tears itself apart and scatters our remains halfway across the quadrant.

 

[sekundant]

QUARK: There must be something we can do?

 

[mattman8907]

ROM: Jettison the warp core. No, I tried that already. Emergency overrides are frozen.

 

[May 20]

QUARK: Then we'll have to try something else, won't we?

 

[sekundant]

ROM: The kemacite! If we vent plasma from the warp core into the cargo hold, we may be able to start a cascade reaction in the kemacite. Then we can modulate the reaction to create an inversion wave in the warp field and force the ship back into normal space! If I time it just right, I should be able to get us close enough to Earth to make an emergency landing.

 

[JanewayRulz!]

QUARK: Rom, you're a genius!

 

[May 20]

ROM: You think so?

 

[mattman8907]

QUARK: How should I know? I have no idea what you're talking about. Just do it.

 

[sekundant]

ROM: Hold on.
(The little shuttle shakes violently, Quark starts screaming, and then the ship disappears)

 

[Sidewinder]

[Examination room]

(Quark wakes up. He is covered in a white sheet and lying on a hard surface. The other two are also lying down.)

QUARK: Rom? Nog?

 

[May 20]

(On the other side of a one way mirror, a man in uniform lights a cigarette then picks up a proper telephone.)
WAINWRIGHT: Get me General Denning. Tell him one of the Martians is awake.
(We pan over to a calendar with a picture of Rita Hayworth for July 1947.)
(Later, USAF brass and civilians have assembled)
WAINWRIGHT: We've got the farmer who found their ship. He's locked up in the BOQ, but I don't know how much longer we can keep him there.

(FYI: BOQ = Bachelor Officers' Quarters)

 

[Athena28]

DENNING: You keep him there until I tell you to let him go. Did you take care of that idiot in Roswell who told the press we captured a flying saucer?