The death of the mother-parasite-in-the-Remmick-suit was no worse of a gross-out moment than any number of other "parasite moments" in "Conspiracy." Or the Ceti Eel scenes in TWOK, six years earlier. And it has a lot in common with the death of the Bug in the first Men in Black movie, nine years later.
The violence itself was not gratuitous. The suffering was not gratuitous. The graphic depiction of it in a way guaranteed to gross people out was.
I cannot take seriously the argument that a short but disturbing scene of graphic violence designed to convey the suffering of the victim and establish emotional stakes for the rest of the episode is gratuitous because it's gross, but that a scene of a man's entire torso exploding and revealing a giant parasite inside of his rib cage, which adds nothing to the episode's thematic content, is somehow not gross enough to also be gratuitous.
That is a blatant double-standard.