Contest: ENTER ENT Caption Competition #117: Dessert Crossing

Tucker: Omg I think I'm losing it...

 

Archer: Okay, I got my phone out. What do you want to hear?
Tucker: Anything except Tea In The Sahara by The Police

 

Tucker: This is my "Brad Pitt lost in the desert". What do you think?
Archer: Needs work

 

This week on 'Enterprise':

 

I'm a bit late to the game, but I just had to...

Tucker: I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

 

Archer looks down the front of Trip trousers.

Archer: "Yep, sand."

 

Archer:There you go Trip,
just a little more urine now and I can complete my sand castle!

 

"I'm sure this where I dropped my keys. Come on, sir, help me dig before my keychain with the light-up boobs melts!"

 

Dark Helmet: "Found anything?"

"I ain't found shit!"

 

In his heat-induced delirium Trip took the Nestea plunge and never noticed any difference.

 

Taking a page from Mock The Week:

"Unlikely Things To Hear In An Episode Of Enterprise"


Alien of the Week: I hear you know much about gazelles, I would very much like to hear it.


Archer: Trip, stop complaining about my discipline methods! Now get oiled up and lets start wrestling!


Archer: I wish I knew how to quit you!

 

Archer: "Did that do it, Al?"

Al: "According to Ziggy, there's a 68% chance you and Trip have to ... WHOA!"

Archer: "Whoa what?"

Al: "Ah, never mind."

Trip: "It's okay, you can call me 'Al' while we do it."

 

Tripp: Do you think it is wise to have clothing the same color as the dirt we are lost in?
Archer: That depends. If our odds will be decreased for consumption or Klingons, then yes.

 

Archer: "Nice gazelle tattoo. How'd they fit both horns on it?"

 

Porthos: "After reading the following exchange on Facebook, I'm sooooooo glad to be on Enterprise and not Discovery!"

 

Archer: "Dammit, Trip, don't eat any more beans! We've already charted enough gaseous anomalies!"

 

Archer: "Man, if that's supposed to look like the logo of The Rolling Stones, it's way off!"

Korbral: "Yeah, well, you try doing it in a funhouse mirror while some asshole is fucking with the dimmer switch."

 

"OOH! OOH! A Snausage!

Oh, that's just a Tellarite. Never mind."

 

Sgt Joe Gunn: "You fellas look like you could use some water. Have you seen our tank? We seem to have lost her in that last sand storm. Her name is 'Lulubelle'."

Trip: "No tanks."

Sgt Joe Gunn: "Okay then, good luck."

Archer: "Trip!!!"

 

Trip: "What did you find Captain?"
Archer: "I think it's the orb of the emissary."