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Contest: ENTER ENT Caption Competition #117: Dessert Crossing

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"Hey Archer, have you peed on my shirt yet?...Archer!?"
 
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Trip: "and then...?"
Archer: "then he made me watch Karategirl from1974, the whole thing!!"
 
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"Do you like my chin tattoo, Captain? I got it back in college. Like the venereal disease I just gave your chief engineer."
 
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"In the future goatees are considered ugly and unsightful."

Archer: "That's actually worse."


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"Help! I ripped my short off in battle and went too far! I've Kirk-ed too much!"
 
May I chime in with a suggestion? The OP hasn't been around since mid-October. Maybe somebody else should just step in, pick some winners, and start a new contest?

NEVER! This contest is IMMORTAL. Proof you say?

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There can be only ONE!
 
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Archer: Okay, we're going to head for those hills in the distance. There will be shelter. Once we get there we will encase the water in an impenetrable energy field and create a special code that, if solved, will allow access to the water.
Tucker: Why are we going to do that?
Archer: Oh, I don't know. Give someone in the future something to do.
 
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Archer:
"Come here.. Lets head for those hills and ponder about that special code..."

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"but i cant think of any special coooodes!! Wææææhæææ!!"
 
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Alien: <offscreen> Let's all square dance! Places all... Bow to your corner, bow to your own. Two hands up and round you go. Break it up with a dosey-do. Chicken in the bread pan kicking out dough, skip to ma lou my darlin'.
 
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T'Pol (os): Commander, first your shirt was chafing and now you say your pants are as well? Might I suggest requisitioning larger sizes.
Archer: (os) Shut up, T'Pol! Trip, do whatever makes you more comfortable.
 
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Archer: "That's it. Let it out! If you hold in a fart on a planet with higher-than-normal gravity you're gonna blow out your sphincter muscle!"
 
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Trip: We're trapped and dyin',but at least nobody has posted a "Where will you be when your diarrhea comes back"
 
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"Okay, we've flown to another continent, crossed a desert and have no tracking devices on us. Do you think we've finally gotten away from Harvey Weinstein? Oh, shit -- T'Pol!"
 
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