DS9 Caption Contest 76; An awkward situation

[Ln X]

Thanks a lot to all who participated in the last contest! Now, our winners from the last contest are;

Grilka:
"Have you ever made love with a Klingon woman before?"
Quark:
"No, is it different?"
Grilka:
"Let me put it this way, there will be seven planets left in the Earth system, after I destroy Uranus."

Kira(on com): Captain... Gul Dukat's hailing us again... he's quite upset. He's threatening to declare war if you don't respond.
Sisko: I told you! I'm busy!
Kira(on com): Yes, sir.
Sisko: (muttering) This Angry Birds level is impossible!

Ross: Come here often?
Bashir: They're faaaaaaaaake!
Ross: <Walks off>

O'Brien: I bet you can't hock a loogie and land it on Quark there.

Worf: Challenge accepted!

GARAK: So this girlfriend in Canada you're sending lingerie to, you say she's about the same size as.... you?

Grilka: I know you're just about to fight a duel to the death. So I'll just remind you at the last minute: I faked every orgasm.

Congratulations to the winners!

And now the next five pictures just waiting to be captioned!

Have fun!

 

[Nerys Myk]

JAKE: Laugh all you want, but I payed good money for that candy bar and I'm gonna get it!

NOG: A very Ferengi sentiment. Should I contact the Chief or the Doctor about freeing your hand?

 

[Ln X]

Bashir: And why do you want to interrogate me again?
Sloan: Well doctor you lied about your genetic alterations, you consort with ex-Obsidian Order spies, you have disturbing fantasies which you play out in your holosuite programs, you were replaced by a shapeshifter and might still be a shapeshifter and finally you worked with the Jem'Hadar. It's people like you which keep me awake all night.

Nog: You don't have a clue what you're doing.
Jake: Relax this is a Starfleet ship, they're user friendly!

Dukat: When you have the money, then you have the power. And when you have the power, then you get the women.

Could everyone please step away from the Vorta person...

Martok: With every meeting we Klingons perform the ritual of blood-letting, a true test of our courage and resilience to pain. Woe to anyone who flinches!

 

[R. Star]

Thanks for the win!

Bashir: What's up with those outfits? You look like cheap Gestapo knockoffs.
Sloan: It was the only thing we could buy in bulk at that Hollywood prop outlet.

Jake: Don't worry, Chief O'brien showed me how to hotwire a runabout. We'll be on our way to Risa before you know it.

Dukat: Yes, Commander. It also doubles as a sex toy. We Cardassians waste nothing.

Eris: What are you looking at?
Odo: Even my hair doesn't look that bad.

Martok Changeling: (thinking) Stupid solids. I'll have them running blood tests for months thinking it will detect us.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DUKAT: I don't always drink kanar...

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win, Ln X!

I'm afraid I need to take a leave of absence from tormenting our good doctor here, my agent called, they need me to play the President of the United States.

Jake: Duct Tape?

Nog: The Chief says it's how he fixes most of the problems around here.

Dukat: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a war with Romulans" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a Cardassian when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...

That awkward moment when the crew thought Eris said "Horta."

Upon seeing his blood turn goldish, indicating he's a changeling, the Martok Changeling exclaimed, "Huh, it's never done that before..."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

BASHIR: My God. There is no section 31. You're that Roswell-looking alien kid who kidnapped William Riker!
SLOANE: I don't have any other hobbies.

NOG: Jake, I thought you brought me here to show me HUMON drugs.
JAKE: I did. Somebody found my stash!
(Odo materializes from the control panel)

SISKO: This isn't Cardassian fruit at all. It's human fruit painted exotic colors.
DUKAT: Interesting that your precious Prophets didn't warn you!

ERIS: Thank you for the haircut. Who is this 'Chris Rock'?

KIRA: Does every Klingon ritual involve cutting yourself?
MARTOK: No. Some of them involve burning yourself.

 

[Triskelion]

TFTW Ln X!

Bashir: Section 31 gets a ten percent discount at Supercuts? I'm in.

Jake: See? All you do is cross the wires until it starts.
Nog: You mean the electroplasma.
Jake: I thought I smelled bacon.

 

[Finn]

Sisko: (OS) What are those?

Dukat: *chuckles* Why, those are hairless tribbles.

Worf: (OS) *wets pants*

 

[Vulcan Logician]

Dukat: If you're going to sleep with Kai Winn, the first thing you need is kanar. LOTS of kanar.

 

[BennyRussel]

Bashir: Did you fart?
Sloane: You smelt it, you dealt it.

 

[Nerys Myk]

BASHIER: Are you guys Evil Dentists or something?

 

[_C_]

"Ah, I see you noticed my glass butt plug. Didn't anyone ever tell you Cardassians don't do anything small?"

 

[TommyR01D]

"Computer, activate holoprogram Sloane 5!"

{Beep}

"Why are you showing me a bar?"
"Because it's time you learned the true reason we wear leather, Doctor."

 

[Mistral]

Bashir: "But, I passed all of your tests!"

Sloane: "And yet you still can't rub your belly while patting your head. Sad. Kill him."

 

[Statja Q'bel]

Bashir: "Come at me, bro!"

 

[LeadHead]

Sloan: (thinking) I'm really not a very good covert agent. I always explain everything to everybody.

Jake: And now, with the Age verifying software offline, we can take this runabout to Risa!

Dukat: Ah, join me at my table.
Sisko: No.
Kira: No.
Worf: No.
Odo: No.
O'Brien: No.
Dax: No.
Bashir: No.
Quark: No.
Jake: No.
Nog: No.
Rom: No.
Leeta: No.
Martok: No.
Weyoun: No.
Damar: No.
Dukat: Wow. Tough room.

Besides their telekinesis, the extreme body odor of Vorta was also never referenced again in DS9.

Sisko: You'll poke your eye out with that thing!

 

[Finn]

^winner

 

[Nerys Myk]

SISKO: That's not what we mean by "splitting the check".

 

[Triskelion]

^ Snort

Odo: Dammit, I run the Crispin Glover action on this station!

Martok: I will leave his tip.