DS9 Caption Contest 72; Cover-up

[Ln X]

Today was a busy day what with slaving away with assignments and maths degree work, but I have time enough for this. Now the winners from last contest are...

The 'toiling-away' award goes to...

Jake: "I hate Occupation Re-enactment Day".

O'Brien: "Next year I want to be a Cardassian for once. I swear someone's rigged these things".

Sisko: "Being Bajoran builds character! Embrace it!"

I hear you there brother...

Quark: Well, it took until the 24th century, but they finally put DS9 on Blu-Ray.

The 'drunken-rampage' award goes to...

49er fans were not kind to the promenade after the superbowl.

The 'nagging-wife' award goes to...

DAX: I thought O'Brien was at a seminar on Earth.

KIRA: He is, Keiko just can't start the day without bitching at him.

The 'continuity flaw #1' award goes to:

Bashir: Wait. How did we get Jem'Hadar weapons before we'd ever made contact with the Dominion?

///

Our special award goes to...

'And this is what happens when an Irishman and an Englishman enter a bar...ya gobshites!'

Our photoshop winner is unquestionably...

That facehugger alien was inspired! I tip my hat to you sir!



///



This week the theme is only a logical follow up to last week's theme; 'cover-up'. Dodgy stuff happens on a daily basis on a station like DS9, are the characters saints or as crooked as a... You decide with the captioning where said pictures are:

The next contest will take place on the 18th of February.

Have fun!

 

[Ln X]

Don't tell anyone but I've just shoved Kai Winn into the primary waste furnace! Her earpiece will make a nice dogtag!

Garak: I'm fine with bumping off whoever you wish captain, but the pay is frankly awful and if things get sticky I'll make sure your head is on the block to!

The less glamorous side of DS9...

Kira: Damn it Odo I should be kicking Cardassian ass not sticking my ass out of conduits trying to capture voles!

The Cardassian 'technical difficulties' video was never popular amongst DS9's staff...

 

[JirinPanthosa]

SISKO: Go into the crawl space and sabotage some minor subsystem, my wife is in a bad mood, O'Brien says. He really owes me one.

GARAK: Wait. You actually wanted to hire me as a gardener?
SISKO: What did you think I meant? The arboretum desperately needs attention.
GARAK: Umm...nothing, Captain Sisko.
SISKO: Now I have a different task for you. I'd like you to investigate the mysterious disappearance of the ambassador from the plant people.

Major Kira reluctantly participates in O'Brien's Little Rascals holo-novel.

The face isn't the only body part that Odo has trouble with.

TAIN: Stupid Federation. We're going to win this war for you. Why? Because we're smart. Way smarter than you Federation types. All the Federation is good for is falling into traps. Federation idiots.

 

[shivkala]

Sisko: Come out to the Bajoran sector, we'll get together, have a few laughs...

Sisko: Well, Ambassador Mix-a-Lot, does the scenery on DS9 meet your approval?

Kira: Damn, it Odo, I think we just have to admit it. We're never going to master the Adama stare!

The Cardassian remake of The Godfather gave critics many reasons to pan it, though, most did agree the casting of Don Corleone was inspired.

 

[Tosk]

That facehugger alien was inspired! I tip my hat to you sir!

You're too kind, thank you.



Thankfully, the Ferengi film "Hew-mon Centipede" completely missed the point of the original.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Sisko: "Reminds me of that hotbox on that Janeway clone's no tech planet. Ah, happy times."

Garak: "I was just trying to be of assistance. And when it comes to interrogation, it is a skill that must be honed, regularly practiced. Besides, I don't see Odo complaining."
Sisko: "Five hours of physiological and psychological pressure, followed by humilation, and the threat of physical pain is not how we in the Federation conduct interrogations."
Garak: "Much to your detriment as a political entity I must note, given the frequency at which your security is circumvented."
Sisko: "All Molly O'Brien did was pinch a jumja stick from a vendor on the promenade. And she apologised. She's not a member of the Maquis, the Tal Shiar or a Changeling."
Garak: "That's what she says."

Quark: "Nice ass."
Kira: "Quark!"
Quark: "Hmm, I didn't see you there, Major."

Kira: "I'm worried about him. He didn't even notice me when I was working on the console. And I stay toned, work out regularly, Bajorobics class after prayers."
Odo: "Bashir reversed the operation. Quark is no longer Lumba."
Kira: "He's still wearing the earing. I dunno, maybe Bashir left his hormones out of whack."
Quark os: "Who's up for fairy cake. I baked some special?"

"And tonight's Late Show Top Ten inferior species to Cardassians is... " drum roll
Sisko: "Why are we watching this... again?"

 

[Triskelion]

Sisko: What if I'm a changeling? <Looks at crotch> Awwwww.

Garak: Wait a minute. You're telling me that at the diplomatic dinner for the Cardassian ambassador, you actually put spoons on the table? I suppose you thought we all eat taspar eggs too?

Sisko: Didn't you once say that was your favorite meal?

Garak: That isn't the point!

Did you just hear a moan?

Don't be silly, Major, there's nothing in the room besides that snickering shrubbery.

Kira: Don't look now but there's a Jem'Hadar over there drinking with a dabo girl.

Odo: Is it Lisa? Wouldn't go out with me, the slut.

Gul Vole: Now count to five, Mister Moose!

Dax: Cardassian TV really sucks.

Sisko: Shh. The ping pong balls are about to fall.

Mister Moose: There are only four lights, silly!

 

[TommyR01D]

Sisko: As you can see, this is what will result from our failure to repair the timeline.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thanks for the win.

Kira: "The route to Cardassian Narnia is rather tight, isn't it?"

O'Brien: "Damn Cardie technology. Even their magical lands of fantasy are difficult to work with!"

Kira's hand kept reaching of its own accord for the drinks menu. Suspicious, Odo wondered if Quark's recent acquisition of a Ferengi Thoughtmaker might be to blame...

Enabran Tain: "Good evening! You're watching Tonight With Enabran Tain. Today's guest is a young engineer found guilty of downloading seditious files banned by the Central Command. What could have motivated him to do this? Who are his contacts in the underground? Tonight we'll ask these and other hard-hitting questions with an exclusive interrogation".

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Thank you for the win

Even sitting here in a smokey crawlspace, you just know I'm badass.

Garak: Commander, whatever Constable Odo has told you, I was not 'loitering' in the public head on the Promenade.
Sisko: Save it, Garak. We all saw the security tapes. It looks like I know know exactly what the Cardassian Neck Trick is about.

Dax reached under her station and pulled out her trusty slingshot. Now it was the age old dilemma...who to aim at first...

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRA: Quite a set up Chief. TV, a mini-fridge and wet bar.

OBRIEN: It's my home away from Keiko....er, home.

 

[Triskelion]

Sisko: I just had an idea how we can keep the Dominion from coming through the wormhole. Kira, O'brien, I've got a new assignment that requires your...ginormous assets.

Kira: ...and then he said we had "ginormous assets."
Odo: There's a reason I don't turn into a barstool any more, Major.

 

[TommyR01D]

Garak: I swear, she said she was 16!

 

[Captain April]

Holly: Look, I'm a tenth-generation AI hologrammic computer. I'm not your mum.

Sisko: What was the name of the guy who sold you this new computer AI?

O'Brien: errr... Rimmer sir.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Sisko: "I didn't order a bike rack..."

 

[Ln X]

I'm going to let this contest run for another week...

 

[Velocity]

GARAK: I'm not saying she's a gold digger, but she gives me latinum when I'm in need.

When we're out together working cheek to cheek!

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Sisko: Sisko to Ops. I got lost in the habitat ring again. Emergency Transport.

Garak: Commander, I am a tailor, not a miracle worker.

Sisko: What does that mean?

Garak: I... uh....

Odo: He means that no matter what he does, magenta is not your color, Commander.

O'Brien: Okay, we can't BOTH hide from Keiko in here.

Odo: Why are you making me sit here?

Kira: I've had a bad day, I might let almost anyone buy me a drink tonight. Luckily, there's no way you're interested in doing that.

Odo: (thinking) Aw, crap.

Sisko: Everyone is assembled. What can you tell us?

Bashir: What's going on, Commander?

Sisko: I recruited the Obsidian Order to get us spoilers on Star Trek Into Darkness.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MEANEY: I think the writing staff is out of ideas.

VISITOR: Yeah, finding Keiko's lost wedding ring before she finds out O'Brien lost it, doesn't strike me as original.

 

[FlyingSaucrDude]

O'Brien (singing): You put your front half in, and --
Kira: I don't think this is how you do the hokey-pokey, Chief.

​

Computer: Warning. Life support failure in twenty seconds.
Sisko (thinking): Huh! So *that's* what these isolinear rods do!


Or...

Little-known fact: in addition to developing an advanced civilization long before humans, the Bajorans also legalized marijuana long before humans, something the Starfleet officers on DS9 frequently took advantage of.

In Soviet Cardassia, TV watches you!