Carmilla the series

[Guy Gardener]

No matter how well Laura deserves it, for being an annoying git, Carmilla can't kill Laura because she loves her boo.

Love is a weak universal force that cushions husbands and wives from poisoning each other.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Love is a fairytale that people tell themselves to help them sleep at night.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Love was invented by the French to sell bad poetry.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

And to keep Hallmark in business, and candy companies.

 

[Gov Kodos]

Love will have its sacrifices.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Well said.

But not worth it.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage.

 

[Gov Kodos]

It drives folks to mad choices, and makes great drama thereby.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Love only exists in the movies.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Love is a sick capitalist plot to trick us into procreation.

 

[Gov Kodos]

So do fear, anger, and other emotions not exist except in movies?

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

That's not love, Guy. That's lust.

Gov, love is so much worse than all those other emotions.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Love = Lust x Inflation x Compounded Interest - Contempt.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

So love is a mathematical equation?

 

[Guy Gardener]

Probably not that equation, but sure, yes, completely.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Then which equation is it?

 

[Guy Gardener]

Love = (Opportunity - Loneliness) + Desperation.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Ah. That makes more sense.

 

[Guy Gardener]

In a britcom a week ago, a husband and wife just finished having sex, and the wife says:

"Sometimes I wish I could fuck a stranger, but then I remember that the first time is rubbish, and then it's 7 or 8 more times until they can give me an orgasm, by which point I'm invested, and begin to think of them as a human being, so I might as well be fucking you."

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

She's right. A stranger doesn't know another stranger's body as well as the person they are involved with. Easier to stay with familiar territory.