Caption Contest 5: Rubbernecking

[Triskelion]

And thus, another contest is ended, and all our yesterday's have lighted fools the way to frisky mirth. Congratulations to all our contributors and a special tossing off (the hat) to our winners Rat Boy, SFRabid, T'Lin, Skywalker, and cooledddie74.

Also it's time to feature a special award for this round's multiple winner: the Nerys Myk award!

HOSHI: Hi, I'm Hoshi from Starfleet Insurance....

A tie for the 2nd image....

Phlox: "I believe I've figured out the problem with Subcommander T'Pol, Captain. She's a mannequin."

Archer: "Really? Hadn't noticed."

T'Pol: "The captain is making me beam down to the Star Trek convention. I hate large gatherings of nerds. Give me something to get me through this."

Phlox? "I don't have that many drugs on board."

And a 3-way (tie) between a poster who tied himself, and a newcomer (to me), Nerys Myk, T'Lin, and his other brother Nerys Myk.

ARCHER: Anyone else hearing a hissing sound?

Trip: Oh man this is some goood shit.
Archer: Trip are you getting high?
Malcolm: Wait a minute...give me some!

REED: Crap, I grabbed the wrong sized suit again!
I can barely see over the edge of the visor!

And the final image:

"I SAID...

YOU pay for the dinner...I get to come first."

Since there were no Photoshops this week I'm featuring anal ternative category: Best Multi-Post, won by first-time winner since I've been doing the contest, Skywalker.

Archer: "Hoshi?"
Hoshi: "Sorry, sir...I can't quite make it out. It doesn't sound like anything that could come from a humanoid."
Archer: "Put it on speaker."
Speaker: "Bonjour!"

Phlox: "Hm. Not a trace of silicone. Surprising."

Malcolm: "Did you see which way they went?"
Archer: "I thought you were tracking them."
Trip: "Man, I hate laser tag!"

Hoshi: "Drop the chocolate cake, and no one gets hurt!"

Congratulations again! Your prize:

Logical accoutrements no office should be without:

Vulcan Science Academy Mug & T'Pol Workstation



This week's contest features an Unexpected surprise, when Trip got a little too much action and not enough traction. There's a whole lotta rubbernecking goin' on!

Mount up!

 

[Rat Boy]

Tucker: "Hmmm, interesting eels."

Ah'len: "Actually, those are the appendages of all my ex-boyfriends."

Tucker: "Uh oh."

Vorok: "I guess that's your daughter riding that human like a wild targ?"

Phlox: "Still dead."

Archer: "I just can't shake the feeling that there's something wrong with your ship."

Vorok: "Wrong? Nothing's wrong. It's a perfectly normal 22nd Century battlecruiser. Just ignore it."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Tucker: "If those are.... well, just imagine the size of your...."

Ah'len: "Now you know why I require the use of your arm. This way, please."

Vorok: "So you've got a little eczema. Big deal. I've got to walk around with this damned horseshoe crab on my head. Maybe some day we'll come up with a cure."

Phlox: "As you can see, despite the commander's repeated attempts at natural male enhancement, he still comes up woefully short."

T'Pol: "I could have told you that without the scanner."

Vorok: "This Geico you mention, is it available to all species?"

 

[cooleddie74]

TRIP:"You guys never developed waste recycling on your planet...did ya?"

KLINGON CAPTAIN:"...and my wife says MY ridges are dishonorable and ugly!!"

PHLOX:"Done, Captain.

Commander Tucker no longer has The Diabetes."

VOROK:"This had better be good, Earther!

The new episode of Qo'NOS IDOL just came on!!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: Ummm?

ALIEN: Don't ask

 

[cooleddie74]

TRIP:"DAMN.

Your meatballs must be ENORMOUS."

VOROK:"Yes...impressive...

but can it get me laid?"

TRIP:"So...what's the prescription, Doc?

Another week of ballhugger-skivvies therapy in your quarters every night?"

ARCHER:"Is...is that...

Is that Bugle Warrior armor you're wearing?!"

 

[cooleddie74]

TRIP:"Would this be the worst possible time to mention I peed in that pool on the way in here?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

VOROK:Why do I have a sudden urge for Mrs. Paul's Frozen Fish Sticks?

 

[Triskelion]

Well there's your problem, lady. Ship's got worms. What you need is some kind of replacement host to lure them out.

Really? How interesting. This way to the naked sex party, Commander.

But...I worked for a month on that gown! Do not tell me spandex has no honor!

T'Pol (thinking): Why do I have a sudden urge to play whack-a-mole?

T'Pol didn't know what she found more annoying: having her superfluous nipples stared at or not stared at.

 

[Starpaul20]

Trip: Look Doc, I was expecting a medical exam, not the Spanish Inquisition!
Cardinal Ximenez: Noooooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

 

[cooleddie74]

TRIP:"I can put a lever on this tank so you can flush this...if ya want me to, that is."

VOROK:"By the way.

Nice ass."

ARCHER:"Dammit, Phlox...I didn't ask IF you can remove Porthos's chew bone from his rectum..I asked you TO do it."

VOROK:"No, we're satisfied with our long distance subspace service.

Thank you."

 

[cooleddie74]

VOROK:"By Kahless's name...WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!?

Can't you see I'm on the toilet?!!?"

 

[SFRabid]

Alien: I'm sorry Mr. Tucker. We are all out of catfish. May I interest you in some pan fried eel?

Director: No. I ordered three Klingons. Send him back to makeup!
Actor 1: NO! Not another 5 hours in makeup!
Actor 2: Dude. You are screwed.

T'Pol thinking: Must stop looking down.
Trip thinking: She wants me.

Vorok: Something must be wrong with the translator. I don't understand the terms "big hair" and "heavy metal".

 

[Triskelion]

Phlox: According to these scans Mr Tucker you've got Kendollitis. No discernible orifices whatsoever.

What is this, some weird biological energy converter?
No, it's the ship's Cantonese restaurant.

I'm not only the president of Ridge-Jobs for men; I'm also a member.

Archer: T'Pol, for future reference, randomly disclosing your herpes outbreaks is awkward for negotiations.

 

[cooleddie74]

"You guys invented calamari, too? Wait'll Chef hears about this!"

VOROK:"Sorry.

That...that was me."

PHLOX:"According to my scans, Mister Tucker is suffering from a fairly common case of Blue Skivvy Fiber Infection."

ARCHER:"Can we interest you in a copy of SUBSPACE WATCHTOWER?"

 

[cooleddie74]

The Xyrillian commander thought things were going along swimmingly...until Captain Vorok asked to use their toilet.

 

[Captain Leslie]

Trip " Sigh!"

Vorok "We Klingon's love your race...we love you in breadcrumbs..."

Phlox " I can find no reference on my charts of the human male to this 'Wang Dang Doodle!' "

Vorok " This chair also comes in Cerise...and if you purchase two items you get them both for the cheaper price! "

 

[cooleddie74]

VOROK:"Can this program realistically reproduce naked farm animals?"

PHLOX:"As I suspected.

Mister Tucker is plugged up with the cheese he was supposed to be hiding from Porthos."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Phlox: It's confirmed, Captain. Mr. Tucker's penis is exactly five inches longer than yours.
T'Pol: You could've saved time by asking me, Captain. Yours just doesn't compare.

 

[Gadrin]