Caption Contest 26: sehlat got your tongue

[Triskelion]

Ok crimestoppers, that one ran a bit long, my apologies. There's no excuse, I was too busy having a great time with all the other caption contests. My excuse is, you are all too funny how can I get any work done???


Now this week for a prize we're trying something a little different. We're going to play:

Let's Make A Deal!
<raucous applause>

Behind three doors are three fabulous prizes. Our winners will choose one door and take home that prize!

Tell 'em what they could win, Don Pardo!

Thaaaat's right each of our winners might be driving home in a:

Brand New 1978 Chevy Camaro!

or...

A shiny red Cadillac convertible!

or...

A mystery box!!!
<ooh ahh murmur murmur murmur>


So with out any further ado let me present....

First Image:

JAZZLVR: Yeah, my job totally sux, The pple I work with R idiots and smell bad. Plus this hillbilly keeps hitting on me.

NGINR: T'pol????

Second Image:

Security at SUPERCUTS:


Tighter than you'd think

Third Image:

Archer: "That baby gazelle? The next day I tracked it down, shot the little fucker, and had gazelle steaks for dinner. And I'd do it again."

Photoshop Award:

TRIP: You're a cop?!!!!

Congratulations go out to the evergreen Nerys Myk, cooleddie74, 4th hanson bro, and his other brother Nerys Myk! Great job all!


Now choose Door #1, Door #2, or Door #3!


...


Congratulations Players! You get:

Mystery box!!!
<ooh ahh murmur murmur murmur>

It's your very own starship!

THE OFFICE SUPPLY ENTERPRISE!!

And all of our captioners will be taking home
(a thumbnail of)

Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco Treat!



Our next contest contains four screen grabs from Affliction, with T'Pol making some rather disturbed observations:

_____________________________________________
Now make with the funny!

 

[John Picard]

Archer: "How about a threesome?"

Hoshi: "Really? Cool!"

T'Pol: "Illogical. Humans are not bifurcated."

 

[Rat Boy]

T'Pol: "I committed suicide so we could be together."

Tucker: "Great, eternity with an obsessive ex."

Phlox: "You know, you could just hit the panic button and we can follow the beeping back to the shuttlepod instead of wandering around in circles."

It wasn't the random Klingon text that was bothering her so much, it was the fact that now she could tell that the NX-class really did look a lot like the Akira-class.

Archer: "No nicks or cuts?"

Hoshi: "None."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Tucker: Heaven?
T'Pol: Guess again.

Phlox: It amazes me, Ensign, how much San Francisco is looking more and more like the backlot of a major motion picture studio.

T'Pol: Guess I shouldn't have opened that SPAM email...

One Human Chick, One Vulcan Chick, A Starship Captain, and A Com Unit.

 

[cooleddie74]

T'POL:"I pictured more furniture and wall decorations than this."

TRIP:"Great. Another Fannie Mae scam."

PHLOX:"If you're in no rush to get back to the ship, I know this great place about...oh...three kilometers from here near the Mission District that serves GREAT black Viking and dwarf food."

"T'Pol to Captain.

Sir...the Klingons who came aboard infected our main computer with some sort of Tetris virus. And the blocks WON'T STACK."

HOSHI:"Can I get time off, sir? About...say...three days?

My dad's birthday is next week, and he's finally going to be sober and conscious enough to remember who I am."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Hoshi...tell me...

Do you...like old 20th century Earth movies about...about gladiators?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: So this is what the bridge of a starship will look like in 100 years?

T'POL: Only if the Abrams faction in the Temporal Cold War wins.

T'POL: Hoshi, does your planet still have ground vehicles?

HOSHI: Yes.

T'POL: Then I suggest we move, quickly.

Tagging was raised to a new level in the 22nd Century.

 

[cooleddie74]

T'POL:"It appears reality shows finally drained known existence of any and all reality. We appear to be all that remains."

TRIP:"Not for long. I get the feelin' SOMEONE'S got an idea for a show about interspecies romance on the drawin' board. We're doomed...it's just a matter of time."

PHLOX:"That was a marvelous dinner, Hoshi! Even my fortune cookie for once said something believable!


'You Will Cure Many Diseases You Will Cause Yourself'..."

HOSHI:"IN BED."

PHLOX:"Don't knock it until you try it, Ensign..."

"T'Pol to bridge.

Captain...it appears Wordforge AND the Trek BBS have both been spiked with an invasive Klingon subroutine! Epic Fail is spreading like a pathogen across cyberspace!"

 

[Mistral]

T'pol had come to San Francisco to make a little extra cash during her time off. She had agreed to accompany Hoshi, but had become greatly confused upon arriving. It was more of a street than a district and all of the lights were white, not red.

 

[cooleddie74]

PHLOX:"I can't wait to tell Mister Reed about the dinner here...he's been asking me for days about this place, but he's been reluctant to return ever since the xenophobic bar brawl after we returned from the Expanse."

HOSHI:"He didn't need to worry about this place. He's a trained, athletic armory officer who can use his fists. He's in no danger."

PHLOX:"But he IS English, Hoshi. That means the draw of liquor and spirits at the bar will overwhelm his defensive capabilities. He'll be unconscious and vomiting on himself before the first punch could be thrown!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Archer's drunken game of "How do you say 'blowjob'?" in various languages sometimes went on for hours.

T'Pol quickly learned the Klingon symbols for "Show us your tits."

 

[cooleddie74]

HOSHI:"This new LOLcat language...I just can't crack it, sir. I've cross-referenced it with both our databases as well as the Vulcan one, and I can't make heads or tails of it."

KLINGON SUBROUTINE:"Nice rack, baby.

Want to come back to Qo'noS and find out how warnog is REALLY made?"

 

[MajorReed]

Tucker: T'Pol, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.

T'Pol: Guys...we're not alone.

T'Pol was amazed at how many curses the Klingons could fit into a sentence.

Hoshi: I ain't telling you where I got those pictures of Trip, Mal, and you naked.

 

[Alyssa]

T'Pol : Commander, where do you think you're going?
Trip: Hell I'm in your mind, I'm gonna go see if you really where faking it that night.

T'Pol: Did you here something? I think there's someone following us.
Hoshi: I told you we shouldn't have taken her to see The Exorcist.

T'Pol: I don't understand the terms of agreement. How can one be expected to register for free and uninterupted pornography if one cannot aquiest to the ToA? Humans are illogical.

Hoshi: Well sir I can explain that recording. See me and Malcom just thought that it would be, you know, fun and, well, sir the hamster seemed really willing too so.....

 

[cooleddie74]

TRIP:"Great.

Applewhite lied to us. There's no spaceship behind this comet!

I whacked my nuts off for NOTHIN'!!!"

PHLOX:"By the way, Ensign...I was, eh...MOST impressed with you this evening.

I had no IDEA you could deep throat an eggroll that big!"

"T'Pol to Captain.

Sir...Internet Explorer crashed again. It'll be at least an entire solar day before we can download your e-mails and porno links."

HOSHI:"...and THAT'S why you cry when you touch yourself, sir.

Anything else?"

 

[cooleddie74]

T'POL:"Curious.

I expected the Rocky Mountains to be...rockier than THIS."

TRIP:"Boy, you said it.

That John Denver was full of shit."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"I think we made a wrong turn back on Carpenter Street."

"Hmm... a dark alleyway with a hot Denobulan, a Vulcan, and an Earthling? I smell a threesome! Quick, get in that dumpster."

"Captain, I think there was some sort of Klingon malware in that download of Bejeweled!"

"I'd think as a Vulcan you'd appreciate the inherent dangers of bringing sophisticated 29th century technology to the past! Seriously, do you realize what would happen if this futuristic vibrator got into the wrong hands?"

 

[Triskelion]

Trip: Why do I keep hearing footsteps?

Phlox: How did you like the curried lamb at Madam Chang's? It's her second most famous thing.
Hoshi: It was great. What's her most famous thing?
Phlox: You'll find out laters.

Trip has no idea who he is messing with - the Grand Fu Champion at Donkey Vulcan Kong.

Archer: What's he saying here?
Hoshi: Sorry.
Archer: How about here?
Hoshi: Nope. Don't have a clue.
Archer: Here? What is that, "tya betternat..."??
Hoshi: Hmm, "Ainja mommalarn tya betternat". Oh, he's saying, "didn't you're mother teach you manners?"
T'Pol: What planet did you say Mr Tucker was from?

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Tucker:(humming a song in his head) "Where are the black curtains?"

T'Pol: "What are you talking about Commander."

Girl in shadows: "Wanna date?"
Phlox: " No thanks I have 3 wifes"

T'pol: "I now under stand the human term "Its all Greek to me"

Archer: "Come on are you going to spit or swallow?"

Hoshi: "Rmmmhp!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Archer: "Come on are you going to spit or swallow?"

Hoshi: "Rmmmhp!"

T'Pol: How 'bout swapping?