Bad Trek Jokes, Part II

[Kerock]

Why did the Tellurite Ambasodor eat beans of Friday?
-- So he could have a bubble bath on Saturday.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

What are some popular Borg self-help books?

Calm, Cool & Collective
Chicken Soup Is Irrelevant
The Seven (of nine) Habits Of Highly Efficient Drones
I'm Assimilated, You're Assimilated

 

[Tim Thomason]

What are some popular Borg self-help books?

Calm, Cool & Collective
Chicken Soup Is Irrelevant
The Seven (of nine) Habits Of Highly Efficient Drones
I'm Assimilated, You're Assimilated

Nobody's Perfect, Yet

How to Succeed in Conquering Earth Without Really Trying

Psycho-Cybernetics

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

What Color is Your Alcove?

 

[USS Triumphant]

What do you get when you cross Beverly with Data?

Bill Gates McFadden.

What did the fabric merchant on Farpoint Station do? Bill Gates McFadden.

I don't recommend you cross Beverly *or* Data. Beverly survived the end of a universe, and Data thinks that Ferengi-in-a-gorilla-suit sh*t is funny, which tells you what a sicko he is.

 

[2takesfrakes]

To view this content we will need your consent to set third party cookies.
For more detailed information, see our cookies page.

Accept third party cookies

 

[WraithDukat]

What did Gul Dukat say when he kicked a ball through someones Window?
Legate!!

Why do pirates like TNG season 1?
Yar!!

 

[Janeway_74656]

What are some popular Borg self-help books?

Calm, Cool & Collective
Chicken Soup Is Irrelevant
The Seven (of nine) Habits Of Highly Efficient Drones
I'm Assimilated, You're Assimilated

The Drone's Guide to a Perfect Regeneration Cycle
How to Stop Worrying and Start Assimilating
The Power of Collective Thinking

 

[JirinPanthosa]

How To Build Friends And Assimilate People

 

[SpocksOddSocks]

Knock Knock
Come!

Knock knock ...
Shut up Wesley!

 

[Kerock]

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

 

[bolak]

"Mr Sulu, why have you taken the ship out of orbit?"

"I don't really know sir, I just did it on impulse..."

 

[bolak]

Khan Noonien Singh

Of course he can, he is genetically engineered

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

You mean, of course, he Khan.

 

[bolak]

"Computer, why is Lieutenant Yar so grumpy?"

"Insufficient Data"

 

[Lance]

Did you hear the real reason why the scene of Scotty meeting Deanna Troi in TNG: "Relics" was cut from the broadcast episode?

Because he cannae change the law of psychics.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Why did Hugh feel inadequate to court Anika Hansen?

She's a 7, and he's only a 3!

 

[bolak]

McCoy's least favourite song?

Katra Chameleon

 

[bolak]

Captain Picard walks into Worf's Grocery Store.

"I'll take a loaf of bread, two tins of peaches, some chocolates and a box of Earl Grey leaves" says Picard

Worf rings-up the items on his till.

"That'll be thirteen --- "

"Oh just put it on my tab, Mr Worf. You know I don't carry cash." says Picard

Worf growls and shakes his head slightly, frustrated but compliant. "If you were any other man I would bill you where you stand".

 

[bolak]

Captain Picard walks into Worf's Grocery Store.

He is just about to speak when suddenly there is a flash of light ahead of him and a humanoid appears and orders a latte.

"Dammit!" mutters Picard, "why is there always a Q in this shop?"