Bad Transcript: Star Trek 2009 (satire)

[Tracer Bullet]

Re: The best "hater" review.

This is funny, but ridiculous.

 

[JewelsNeeJulian]

Bad Transcript: Star Trek 2009

Came across this while wandering the web. It's damned funny, but scathing as well. For the record I like the new film, but I still think this is funny

http://bbot.org/badtranscript-startrek.html

 

[M'Sharak]

Re: Bad Transcript: Star Trek 2009

Came across this while wandering the web. It's damned funny, but scathing as well. For the record I like the new film, but I still think this is funny

http://bbot.org/badtranscript-startrek.html

Merging this with the other thread...

 

[mredom]

Re: The best "hater" review.

I've not seen anyone on here call it the "worst Star Trek" film. Both sides still seem to agree that that honour should belong to either Insurrection or Nemesis.

Actually, no. I've seen a few calling it the worst, even below Nemesis etc

they are wrong.

That is all.

 

[pah2602]

Re: The best "hater" review.

Although the link I provided is extremely humorous (to me at least), it also shows the flaws of the movie; which are it's ridiculous stupid storyline and gaping plot holes. (and like I said, I really did enjoy the movie... the story just doesn't offer much, but effects, action, pacing, characters for the most part, the background of the heroes <but not villain> all great)

Other than that statement, I have no desire to debate whether or not the link is a review or not (which I admit is more of a parody) or whether it is positive or negative. Everyone can make up his or her own mind on that.

Having reflected greatly after a second viewing and reading an awful lot of threads on here I couldn't agree with you more. I loved the movie and I'm just so thrilled at seeing trek on-screen again. stupid story lines and plot holes make me groan in pain, but I reckon I overlooked most of it on my first viewing because I wasn't allowed the time to think. TBH if you over-analyse any movie you can find all sorts of things wrong with it.

The parody is funny because it's a true reflection of the holes exposed. A tighter story would have had less fun poked at it.

Try and write a parody of TWOK or TUC, much harder i'd say.

 

[G2309]

The worst star trek film is definately 5. I think this one was great and they took some bold steps in the story which was refreshing. I love reading parody scripts and yours made me lugh. I've started writing them myself heres my one of Star Trek

 

[M'Sharak]

^ I do not think that link goes where you think it goes.

 

[trevanian]

Re: The best "hater" review.

Its not a hater review. Its only a parody/satire (with sarcasm). Theres some funny quote in this script.

CAPTAIN BRUCE GREENWOOD walks in and saves CHRIS's dumb ass.


BRUCE GREENWOOD: CHRIS, you should enlist. Starfleet needs more wildly overconfident hotheaded alpha male rebels. Plus, your test scores were amazing.


BRUCE looks directly at the AUDIENCE.


BRUCE GREENWOOD: CHRIS is smart.

Reading that makes me think of an MTV or VHS 'special' on BATTLEFIELD EARTH, where other cast and crew present keep on telling Barry Pepper what a 'good actor' he is. Kinda reminded us of the way you praise a puppy after it goes oui-oui on the pads.

So THIS Kirk is supposed to be really smart, huh? I guess brain capacity changes when your dad dies early too ... the other guy didn't strike me as being brilliant, but dedicated and shrewd ... and even in the TMP novelization Kirk mentions that he was in the first batch of Captains or graduates that were selected for being less mentally agile or words to that effect (according to GR, captains who are too smart get seduced by more powerful aliens, instead of seducing THEM, apparently.)

 

[Kosh Naranek]

Best part -
ERIC BANA
Resistance is futile. Ha ha, I've always wanted to say that.

 

[G2309]

I liked your script your comments on black holes were amusing. I write parody scripts as well here's my take on
[FONT=Arial]Star Trek XI[/FONT]

 

[DevilEyes]

Re: The best "hater" review.

Although the link I provided is extremely humorous (to me at least), it also shows the flaws of the movie; which are it's ridiculous stupid storyline and gaping plot holes. (and like I said, I really did enjoy the movie... the story just doesn't offer much, but effects, action, pacing, characters for the most part, the background of the heroes <but not villain> all great)

Other than that statement, I have no desire to debate whether or not the link is a review or not (which I admit is more of a parody) or whether it is positive or negative. Everyone can make up his or her own mind on that.

Having reflected greatly after a second viewing and reading an awful lot of threads on here I couldn't agree with you more. I loved the movie and I'm just so thrilled at seeing trek on-screen again. stupid story lines and plot holes make me groan in pain, but I reckon I overlooked most of it on my first viewing because I wasn't allowed the time to think. TBH if you over-analyse any movie you can find all sorts of things wrong with it.

The parody is funny because it's a true reflection of the holes exposed. A tighter story would have had less fun poked at it.

Try and write a parody of TWOK or TUC, much harder i'd say.

I don't know about a parody, but someone on IMDB Star Trek 09 boards a couple of months ago wrote a brilliant parody thread called something like "It's a travesty, a slap into the face of all real fans..." - from the title you'd think it was another one of self-proclaimed 'real Trekkies' slamming the new movie; in fact, when you start reading, you realize it's the movie being 'slammed' is The Wrath of Khan, even though the title of the movie is never mentioned. In a tone of a very pissed-off Trek "purist", author lists all the plot holes, continuity errors, coincidences and so on, sarcastically comments "and then there's another EXPLOSION", criticizes "soapy" plot of Kirk having a son, and interjects a lot of lines to the effect of 'this empty action movie full of EXPLOSIONS and plot holes is a slap in the face of every real fan'. In a word, it was a brilliantly written parody of all the posts slamming the new movie in the same way. I really regret not having copy pasted and saved it somewhere, who knows if the thread is even still there.