All things RED Dwarf

[The Knappos]

If you're in trouble he will save the day,
He's brave and he's fearless come what may,
Without him the mission would go astray...

He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
Without him life would be much grimmer,
He's handsome, trim, and no-one's slimmer,
He will never need a Zimmer.

He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
More reliable than a garden strimmer,
He's never been mistaken for Yul Brynner,
He's not bald and his head doesn't glimmer.

Master of the wit and the repartee,
His command of Space Directives is uncanny,
How come he's such a genius?
Don't ask me...

Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
He's also a fantastic swimmer,
And if you play your cards right,
then he just might come 'round for dinner.

 

[Toril Toran]

Lister: Smeg! Outland Revenue!
Rimmer: *excited* oh oh oh oh! Outland Revenue!
Lister: 8500!
Rimmer: 8500? That's a lot of tax isn't it Listy. How on Titan are you going to pay for that?
Lister: I'm not...it's yours
Rimmer: *shock* What! This is wrong this is dead wrong!
Lister: Relax, it doesn't matter now. Not gonna catch you now, are they?
Rimmer: What, just because we're three million years into deep space and the human species is extinct? That means nothing to these people. They'll find us.

- Better than Life

 

[Toril Toran]

Where did everyone go again?
They must be on a C.A.N.A.R.I.E.S. mission.
Hope they took their bazookoids.
And a six pack of lager.
And a vin-de-loo.
Maybe some popadoms…

And a change of underwear…
You never know…

 

[Toril Toran]

Where did everybody go?

 

[The Knappos]

They’re dead, Dave

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"All you need to know about Yvonne MacGruder is: I gave her one."

 

[The Knappos]

Everybody’s dead, Dave

 

[Toril Toran]

Nobody’s dead Arnold

 

[The Knappos]

They’re all dead. Everybody’s dead, Dave.

 

[Toril Toran]

Who is?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Wise words from C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S.!

I wonder if that shirt is actually for sale IRL.

 

[The Knappos]

I wonder if that shirt is actually for sale IRL.

I bought one and saw a bloke wearing one last weekend. Short version, yes.

I want one of the d-d-don’t shoot ones with the gangster gorilla

 

[The Knappos]

Everybody is dead, Dave

 

[Leviathan]

Everybody is dead, Dave

What, Captain Hollister?

 

[The Knappos]

What, Captain Hollister?

Everybody’s dead, Dave

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Not Chen?

 

[The Knappos]

Not Chen?

Gordon Bennett! Yes Chen! Everybody. Everybody’s dead, Dave!

 

[Toril Toran]

Not Peterson, is he?

 

[The Knappos]

He’s dead, Dave. Everybody’s dead. Everybody is dead, Dave.

 

[Toril Toran]

Not Todhunter?