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All things RED Dwarf

LISTER: Are you all right?
RIMMER: You're going to go spare.
LISTER: What? What is it?
RIMMER: You're going to go absolutely spare.

RIMMER's steps out into the doorway his top is torn bellow the shoulder.

LISTER: You've lost me arm.
RIMMER: I've lost your watch too.
 
"Just because it's an armor plated alien killing machine, which salivates unspeakable slobber, doesn't mean it's a bad person!" :guffaw:

Wise words from C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S.!

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Holly: Look, I'm trying to navigate at faster than the speed of light, which means that before you see something, you've already passed through it. Even with an IQ of 6000, it's still brown-trousers time.
 
Justice: The hologrram known as Rimmer. Guilty of second-degree murder. One thousand, one hundred and sixty-seven counts.

Rimmer: No...There's some mistake, surely...

Justice: Each count carries a statutory penalty of eight years penal servitude. In the light of your hologrammatic status, these sentences are to be served consecutively, making a total sentence of nine thousand, three hundred and twenty-eight years.
 
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You should wear your Dayglo orange moonboots.

I love how Rimmer persuades Lister to wear them secretly hoping the smell will put the women off and his face in Starbug putting up with the stench as part of his grand plan. Rimmer is such a git.
 
HOLLY: It takes time, this. One slight error in any of my thirteen billion calculations and we'll be blasted to smithereens. Here we go, then: 10, 9, 8, 6, 5--
RIMMER: You missed out the seven.
HOLLY: Did I? I've always had a bit of a blind spot with sevens.
RIMMER: We're going to die.
 
[Lister]: You said yourself. I can't stop it. Let's get this over with. [grabs a pipe]
[Rimmer]: Lister, what's that for?
[Lister]: I'm going out as I came in, screaming and kicking.
[Rimmer]: You can't just whack Death on the head!
[Lister]: If he comes near me, I'm gonna rip his nipples off!
 
Katerina: You think you outsmart me, yes? But you don't, I here. Cut a second hole.
Rimmer: Science officer, excellent. So pleased you've caught up with us.
Katerina: You gave me slip, I know. You not want to be erased. But you won't defeat me, I too smart.
Rimmer: Erase me? I thought it was murder to kill a hologram.
Katerina: No, hologram already dead. Morally, ethically, hologram killing fine!
Rimmer: Fair enough. [Rimmer suddenly pushes her into oncoming traffic, and her image shorts out] Come on, we haven't got all day.
Kryten: She didn't see that coming did she. I did.
 
Hey! I want to settle down! And as soon as I find the right small group of girls, the seven or eight women who are right for me, my wondering days are over, buddy!
 
"We could go to Dallas in November, 1963, stand on the grassy knoll and shout "Duck!" ... I'm sorry; I must have bypassed my Good Taste Chip."


  • - Kryten
 
Look, the rule is simple: I will not eat any animal that has ever been a cartoon. Weevils, rabbits, dogs, cats, mice, road-runners; all out. I'm not a cartoonivore!
 
You know, it just hit me:

In "Holoship", Nirvanah Crane says that she comes from a time where the concept of family has been abolished. And yet, she and her crewmates all have first and last names? ;)
 
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Rimmer: What's this? Learning drugs? They're illegal, matey! I'm afraid you're in very serious, grave, deep trouble, Lister. Where did you get them? I want names, I want places, I want dates.

Lister: Arnold Rimmer, his locker, this morning.
 
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