TOS Caption Contest #168: It Came From The Waiting Room!

[Rat Boy]

No need to cry, little girl, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's awkwardly comfort...

For helping scared little Miri take her first steps into womanhood, our winner is...

Rand: "Don't worry, Miri, you're not unique. The first time I had PMS, I vaporized a whole galaxy."

And it'll be like she never existed thanks to our next winner...

Spock: Again, sir? Where shall I have Scotty dump the body this time?

That was a Godfather II reference, in case you couldn't tell. And apparently a serial killer is a person in this winner's neighborhood...

Spock: By using deductive reasoning, I can only point to this young lady as the one who murdered Big Bird.
Sulu: Deductive reasoning my ass--she's wearing his feathers!

Once more we have two Photoshop winners this week. Our first one seems appropriately timed given George Takei's recent PSA...

Spock: "Sir, once again I must protest, as I am not... "

Kirk: "Mind your own business Mr. Spock, I'm tired of your half-breed interference!"


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And you can't read our next winner's poker face...

SPOCK: Yes, Captain. Mr Sulu is a Lady Gaga fan and you are suprised, why?

Does she actually go out in public like that? Anyway, let's finish off this strange trip with a couple awards for retro captioning. Our first winner shows that it isn't just engineers who love to change things...

Spock: "The special effects budget was lacking, OK? Just work with me here and use your imagination. Everything will be cleaned-up when the Special Edition is released in 25 years."

And finally, an award for Photoshopping a Photoshop...

Spock: We surveyed 100 people and asked them: What things would you want to do to or have done to you by Lieutenant Uhura. Mr. Scott, you said "golden shower".

Scotty: Aye.

Spock: Survey says!

[Buzzer goes off and a red "X" appears on the screen]

Scotty: BOGUS FRAT!!

Congrats, all. This week, we continue our trip down memory lane, first by reintroducing everyone to the original caption contest Photoshop meme, Balok's puppet. Next, we have the triumphant return of Cloud William, joined this time around by Mrs. Cloud. And finally, we go back into the archives for a gem from almost exactly two years ago, one that went on a wild ride. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Dear God it's..."

McCoy: "It's..."

Bailey: "Lady GaGa without her makeup!"

Lady GaGa: "Hey, this is a closed set!"

Kirk: "All right, Spock, you take the blonde, I'll take the redhead."

Spock: "Again with the blonde?"

Caption Contest Waiting Room PA: "Paging Mr. Spock, paging Mr. Carl Spock. You're wanted in the TOS forum."

Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy: "How much longer is this going to be?"

 

[jep]

Spock, in hushed voice: "That's it baby, work that ass against those bars.... yeaaah, that's it... make that skirt ride just a liiiiitle higher."


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[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "Ew, that looks creepy..."
Kirk: "I dunno, nothing a good hairpiece can't fix."

Cloud William: "Death by snu snu will now commence."
Kirk: "Spock, a little help here..."
Spock: "I am setting up the video equipment as fast as I can, Captain."

...

Spock: "Gracie's pregnant."
Takamura: "Where did that come from?"
McCoy: "I should have never given him those Flash Forward DVDs."

 

[Rat Boy]

Balok's puppet: "THIS SHIT WILL TAKE FIVE OF YOUR MINUTES!"

Kirk: "Seriously, that whole dropping the soap thing's in the Constitution."

Cloud William: "I do not fully understand, one named Kirk, but the holy words will be obeyed. I swear it!"

It was easy to figure out who farted.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

McCoy, thinking: Come on, punk. I dare you to try and take the seat next to me. I DARE you.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

McCoy: "It will crack, Jim, under the McCoy death glare!"

............

............

Kirk: "Nothing's happening, Bones"

McCoy: "Quiet!"

 

[jep]

Spock: "Once again Homer, I must ask that you please refrain from "goosing" me... and stop calling me "Marge"."


.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

^ Disturbing, yet hilarious.

 

[jep]

Pimp Cloud William: "Freedom is one of our holy concepts. So is payment for services rendered. But my ho says you do not want to pay."


.

 

[jep]

Kirk: "What the FUCK do you mean, '24 has been canceled'????"

McCoy: "My God, Jim, has the entire universe gone insane???"

.

 

[Maurice]

Negotiations with Herb Solow went badly for the actor hired to play Bailey...

Match.com fail.

BONES: <humming> My boomerang won't come back...

 

[tharpdevenport]

Alien: "No, as a matter of fact I am not lonely, and do not get 'blue balls'."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Shrunken cities in bottles?

 

[Nerys Myk]

From the Archives:

Last train of the night

Dating Game 2267, with your host Jim Lange.

Drummer auditions for Spinal Tap.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Two wins in one contest! The Great Bird must be with me. Thanks, Rat Boy.

McCoy: Kinda looks like your penis after shore leave, Jim.

Cloud William: We shall E your Plebmnista.
Kirk: Um, Spock?!
Spock: No need to be gentle; he's already been stretched out.

McCoy: This reminds me of my junior high dance...

 

[jep]

Cloud William: We shall E your Plebmnista.
Kirk: Um, Spock?!
Spock: No need to be gentle; he's already been stretched out.

George Takei, (off screen): "Oh MYYYYYY!"


.

 

[jep]

Kirk: "You'll need to lower your seat a bit more... "

McCoy: "Jim, it's not alive."

Kirk: "Well that certainly makes things easier! (Sound of velcro coming undone.)



.

 

[jep]

Kirk: "It's a puppet."

McCoy: "Oh please. A puppet? Running this ship? That's about as likely as a
midget popping out and offering us a glass of some sort of fruity drink."


.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "Gentlemen, don't you realize what we've got here? This is an astounding archeological find! Recall your twenty-first century history! This is the dummy that ruined Jeff Dunham's career!"

Cloud William: "Look, buddy, I don't care what the clothing cues on your planet are, this coat is just for warmth and the lady is not for sale!"

Judge (OS): "Miss Finney, shall I assume that you have that 'not so fresh' feeling again today?"