TOS Caption Contest #167: Girls, Girls, Girls

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: By using deductive reasoning, I can only point to this young lady as the one who murdered Big Bird.
Sulu: Deductive reasoning my ass--she's wearing his feathers!

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

DeForest Kelley: What the fuck is my line?

Director (off screen): CUT!

Takei, Nichols, Doohan, Koenig: "Where the fuck are our lines?"

Shatner: CUT!

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "The target area's only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port right below the main port."

Wedge: "That's impossible, even for a computer!"

Spock: "Trust me, Lieutenant, I've bulls-eyed plenty of holes that were two meters wide."

 

[Gertch]

Spock: "So her first name's Nyota?"
Kirk: "I have no comment on the matter."

 

[Anji]

http://img176.imageshack.us/img176/2273/girl3e.jpg

"I know she's pretty, but did you get me in the shot...c'mon, did ya?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "What have you been doing all these centuries?"

Miri: "Reading the Twilight novels over and over again. I can quote them from memory."

McCoy: "Jim, get me the fuck off this planet!"

 

[jep]

Miri: "There's something else the disease does to you... "

(Lifts dress... THUMP))

Rand: "Wow... hello there Mr. Johnson!"

Kirk: "Okaaayyy, I think we'll be going now."

Rand: "Uh Captain, I'd like to stay here to... uh... to see if there's any... uh... anything more Miri can tell us."


.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Spock: "Indeed -- do notice that even when in close proximity to a scantly-clad female, Mr. Sulu is checking out another male. And I assure you -- it is not because of my forked penis. As magnificent as it is."

 

[jep]

Sulu: "ACK!!! A female!!! Get it off me, get it off me, GET IT OFF ME!!!"


.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Rat Boy!

Rand (thinking): "Poor child. She's terrified!"
Kirk (thinking): "I've got to gain her confidence, find out what happened here!"
McCoy (thinking): "Earwax...lots of it!"

Spock: "Perhaps there is too much gallantry on this ship, Captain. Offering the young lady a glass of Saurian brandy was certainly the gentlemanly thing to do. Unfortunately, it appears you are at least the seventh Enterprise officer to do so."

Spock: "Well, yes, I agree: Lieutenant Sulu is a very handsome man. Still, I think I'll go with this one."

Rand: "But...she looks like a young girl! A teenager!"
Kirk: "Nevertheless, she is far older than any of us. In fact, she turned eighteen well before any of us were even born..."
McCoy: "Whoa! Just were are you goin' with this, Jim?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Jim, she doesn't know "Floyd the Barber" so stop asking!

 

[jep]

Spock: "OK.... this is getting weird."



.

 

[jep]

Kirk (Off screen): "Come on, Mr. Spock, stay here. We've got wonderful weather, beautiful women, and this lovely Loch makes for beautiful scenery."


.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Yes, Captain. Mr Sulu is a Lady Gaga fan and you are suprised, why?

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "But she didn't even exist the last time we did this!"

Sulu: "True, but reusing the Elliot Spitzer joke would be kind of dated."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: I still find her highly illogical.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I'm surprised she hasn't incinerated in sunlight."

 

[jep]

Spock: "Yes, she is lovely, but Captain, why is Mr. Sulu dressed like Liberace?"

Kirk (Off screen): "(Sigh)... It's the planet of dreams Mr. Spock.... let's leave it at that."

Spock: "Very well, sir."


.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I don't get why Sulu's interested in her."

*Sulu whispers something, Spock looks down and raises and eyebrow*

Spock: "Fascinating."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Careful Jim, outside I spotted another "kid" who's balding and needs a shave.