Movie Caption Contest #113: Schooled

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Company dismissed, except for the young lieutenant. I'm going to show her my Kobayashi Maru, enter her neutral zone, and violate her treaty.

Saavik: "Oh, crips! You think I can stave him off with that 'only-once-every-seven-years' ploy?"

Uhura: "Worth a try. It beats the alternative."

Saavik: "Which is...?"

Uhura: "Closing your eyes and thinking of Vulcan."

Sulu: Girl, we've all had to go there. Ever hear of the no-win scenario?

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Excellent form on the docking procedures, Mr. Saavik, but I'm going to have to deduct points for failing to stop before crashing into the Academy training facility."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Saavik: "Admiral Kirk! Captain Spock! While I acknowledge that, where most people have either an 'M' or an 'F,' my Starfleet personnel record lists my sex as 'C-W-A-D,' I still think constantly referring to me as 'Mister Saavik' is just rude!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Saavik: "Admiral Kirk! Captain Spock! While I acknowledge that, where most people have either an 'M' or an 'F,' my Starfleet personnel record lists my sex as 'C-W-A-D,' I still think constantly referring to me as 'Mister Saavik' is just rude!"

Kirk: "Fair enough, we'll go with 'Freaky Japanese Hentai Character' from now on, Ok?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"For the record, sirs...the green Orion cadet does NOT swallow."

 

[cooleddie74]

Saavik had mere seconds to plot her escape from the simulator...before Admiral Kirk launched into his story about having beat the test for the 906th time that month.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirstie Alley at a Star Trek Convention: "No, I didn't know the whole 2278 thing in 'Cause and Effect' was a Cheers joke. Jeez, leave me alone!"

 

[Triskelion]

Carla: Take your order, Norm?
Norm: Second tap to the right and straight on till morning.

 

[Bones2]

Kirk: "I'm bound to get the Enterprise - they've given me her assignment patch."

The rest of the crew tries to ignore the fact that Kirk is clearly having to hold his belt together.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Carla: Take your order, Norm?
Norm: Second tap to the right and straight on till morning.

Love this

 

[Triskelion]

thanks FVS

 

[cooleddie74]

"FORGET whether I cheated on the simulation or not...WHEN do we get less ridiculous cadet uniforms around here?!"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Everyone who thinks they performed splendidly in the simulation please...step outside the room and enjoy some light refreshments!

NOT SO FAST, Ms. Vulcan-Who-Eats-Everything!!"

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Like my uniform? I got it specially made.
Spock: Where are the pants?
Kirk: It's a special order, called the "Zap Brannigan."

Kirk: The good news is, I'm grading on a curve. The bad news is, Saavik had to be an overachiever.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Company dismissed, except for the young lieutenant. I'm going to show her my Kobayashi Maru, enter her neutral zone, and violate her treaty.

Saavik: "Oh, crips! You think I can stave him off with that 'only-once-every-seven-years' ploy?"

Uhura: "Worth a try. It beats the alternative."

Saavik: "Which is...?"

Uhura: "Closing your eyes and thinking of Vulcan."

Sulu: Girl, we've all had to go there. Ever hear of the no-win scenario?

Uhura: Kirk cheated on that, too.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Like my uniform? I got it specially made.
Spock: Where are the pants?
Kirk: It's a special order, called the "Zap Brannigan."

Kirk (cont'd): Go ahead; touch it.
Spock: I'm not as big a fan of velour as you are, cadet.

 

[LeadHead]

Admiral Tyler Parry: James T. Kirk, do you know why you have been called here?
Kirk: Yes, Admiral. And I remain committed to my convictions. I rated "Madea Goes to Jail" at one star and I'm damn well sticking by it!

Kirk: I bet none of you guys even knew there was a door there, did ya?

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Finally found the shitter on this ship. Who knew it was behind the main viewer all these years?
Uhura: Let me at it. I've been holding it for nearly 20 years!

 

[Daneel]

KIRK: "Listen, I know I'm facing some fairly serious charges, but could we maybe speed this along? Being in a room with so many red-shirts makes me kind of nervous."

KIRK: "So Lieutenant, do you know what your mistake was?"

SAAVIK: "I didn't sleep with you before taking the test?"

KIRK: "Correct. You can retake the Kobayashi Maru next week. I'll be in my office tomorrow night from seven til ten -- just in case you were interested."

SAAVIK: "Why do I even need to take this test? I'm a lieutenant -- I've graduated from the Academy!"

KIRK: "Admiral's orders, Saavik. I'm sure I'll be seeing you soon."

SULU: "Well, yes sir, that's very nice, but it would be more impressive if you were patting your head at the same time."

SAAVIK (muttering): "I am in control of my emotions, I am in control of my emotions... Calling the Admiral a clueless jackass would not be logical..."


(Incidentally, belated thanks for my win a couple weeks ago. )

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: I believe I have the right to confront my accusers directly.
(Thousands of women start walking into the room)
Kirk: Admiral, I would like to waive that right.

Kirk: Roll call. Sulu.
Sulu: Here.
Kirk: Uhura.
Uhura: Here.
Kirk: McCoy.
McCoy: Here.
Kirk: T'Pol.
Saavik: Stop Calling me that!!