TOS Caption Contest #146: Go-Go Boots Cover A Lot of Sins

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

Another nice week. And I think we nailed down at least a few of the memes we've got running.

The winners be:

Spock: "Humans are so gullible. I really have them going with that Vulcan shtick."

Chekov, over intercom: "Repeat, be on de lookout vor a Wulcan Vanker on board de ship. A Wulcan Vanker."

Spock: Is it Grignak the Fish-Looking Coffee-Selling Asswipe?
Chekov shakes his head.
Spock: Is it Conway Twitty?
Chekov shakes his head.
Spock: Is it Explosive-Diarrhea McCoy?
Chekov shakes his head.
Spock: So who is it?
Chekov turns the padd around:

Spock: Can we speed this shit up? I've gotta drain the lizards.

Vhat'll it be hon?
Salad with Thousand Island dressing.
<looks up with one eye>Ve only have Russian dressing.
Bu - Very well.
Be right back hon. <rollerskates away>

And while there were several great photoshops, this one really hit home:

Henry: Chekov, do you know what this desk is made of?
Chekov: Woak.
Henry: Nope, oak.
Chekov: Thats vhut I sed, woak.
Henry: No, oak, what are you deaf or something?

Nicely played, everyone. When judging, I simply start at the beginning and quote the ones that make me laugh.

This round there were over twenty finalists.

Here're this week's shots:

And the wild card:

Joe, not pictured

TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138 (2x)
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alrik (2x)
Alyssa (3x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
Cakes488
CaptainJon
captain crow (4x) ****BIG WINNER****
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (23x)

cultcross
Cuhl
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Deranged Nastat
Diesel Micky Dolenz (12x)
Dohlman
DrBob (12x)
DS9Sega (7x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper (2X)
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gary7 (2x)
Gertch (26x)

goldbug (3x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (12x)
Isis (2X) ****BIG WINNER****
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Jeri
Johnnyracefan (2x)
John_Picard (4x)
jptrekker (3x) ****BIG WINNER****
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby (2x)
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (10x)
Mistral (2x)
Mojochi
M'Sharak (14x)
NCC-1701 (7x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (37x)

Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (16x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (45!x)

Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (24x)

**** SECOND IN A ROW! ****
Sector 7
Shatmandu (25x)

Shaw (4x)
shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
S'Kai
Sovay
ssosmcin
Super Grover
Tallis Rhul
Tan Ru
T'Bonz (8x)
T'Girl
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (4x)
TheGallifreyanSith
The Badger
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (20x)

The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (11x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Toban Kal
Tribble (4x) ****BIG WINNER****
Triskelion (24x)

***YET ANOTHER ONE! ***
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
UssGlenn
vassa
Ward Fowler (4x)
Woulfe (4x)
Yeoman Randi
Zachery Smith

Mudd Club

 

[Shatmandu]

Stripper: "I hear there's a certain helmsman having a birthday today ..."

Chekov: "Spock was never that nice to me, so I vote for going to Risa."

Kirk: "I'm gonna need new batteries for his controller and a quart of Wesson Oil."

Kirk: "FUCKING BITCH!"

 

[Mysterion]

SULU: Geez, Pavel! We've all seen the diagram a thousand times! Get over it, Pluto is not a planet!

 

[26138]

Sulu: Oh my!

Kirk: Chekov, if there was any more lens flare on the main screen, I'd think you were trying to be JJ Abrams!

Kirk realizes that he finally has his own Spock sex doll.

Director: Damn it Shatner, you're supposed to jump to the wall, then fling yourself from the wall to your opponent - Not just fall on your ass. We've got standards to live up to here! Now do it again, and don't forget to launch yourself off the wall first!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Scott: "What a lovely lass! Those eyes!"

Redshirt: "That hair!"

Kirk: "Those tits!"

Chekov: "That...dong??!!!"

Sulu: "Ooooo, something for everyone!"

Chekov: "This must be Apollo's home system, Keptin. The planets are mounted on crystal spheres, just like he said!"

Nimoy: "Bill...I can't help but notice that you are not wearing your new captain's hat."

Shatner: "Jesus, it was just a joke, Leonard. None of us expected you to actually show up on the set wearing the damn thing! .... By the way, did you ever find your bicycle?"

Kirk (in great pain): "Oh! Ohhhhhh! Andorian jalapenos! Will I never learn?!!"

McCoy: "Can't....breathe...."

 

[Triskelion]

Scotty: Aye, now that's a salute.

Chekov: As you can see Keptin, your ego is interfering with sensor scans again.

What does this button marked "Hammer Time" do?

Dammit Scotty!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

"Excuse me while I whip this out!"

Sulu faints

Sulu: "Meh, reruns!"

Kirk: "Kirk to Scott..." Spock's body twitches "I think that..." Spock's body starts to shimmy and sway "You'd better come down here..." Spock's body starts bodypopping "The communicator signal is interfering with the remote control." Spock's body starts moonwalking "Belay that order." Spock's body spins on its head

Kirk: "Plomeek soup farts!"
Scott: "Borgus frat!"
McCoy: "Sorry Jim, I pushed the wrong button."

 

[EnsignHarper]

Kirk: Damn, these rehearsals for Federation Danicing with the Stars are tougher than I thought...

 

[Mysterion]

5 May 1969 - William Shatner suddenly realises that his acting career may be in grave danger.

 

[scottydog]

Sarah Palin: "Brain and brain, what is brain?"

Kirk: "I don't recognize these... balls."

Sulu: "I do."

Shatner, thinking: "I love this script. I finally have more lines than this skinny bastard."

Kirk: "Ooomph!! Kirk to all crew: No more draining the lizards in the corridors!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "My God...she has three of them!"

Sulu: "I...I think it moved."

Kirk: "I told you to put our old photos in a sealed box. Now they're ruined!"

Spock's Brain: "Jim, would you mind 'fluffing' me? My body may not have a brain, but it does have a reputation to keep up, if you get my drift."

What happens when you play around with Uhura's antimatter powered hair dryer.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Chekov: "As you can see, during our absence, that is, at some point in our five-year mission, the sun went nova, irradiating the Earth and destroying Starfleet Headquarters".

Sulu: "Sweet".

Kirk: "So we can go to Argelius and not be charged with declaration of duty"

Chekov: "Yes, keptin, ve can go to Argelius".

Kirk: "Spock! Come in! You're going to love this! I call it Robo-Spock. It's a mechanized, computerized version of you, programmed with all the right catchphrases; "illogical", "fascinating", all that crap. No-one will be able to tell the difference! So, on your next shift, while he's distracting Bones with some stupid science stuff..."

Spock (offscreen): "I will indeed join you in Doctor McCoy's store room, captain. I am confident that, this time, we'll get the right codes to access the good stuff."

Kirk: "And if he finds out it isn't really you, its programmed to explode!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Shatner, thinking: "I love this script. I finally have more lines than this skinny bastard."

Nimoy, thinking: "Cool suggestion of mine, that remote control Spock. Won't have this fat ham eating up my screen time."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Redshirts exiting lift: "We got here as fast as we could, captain!! As soon as we heard about her!"

Spock: "Are you going to arrest her and escort her to the brig?"

Redshirts exiting lift: "Oh, we're not security, sir, we just wanted to see"

"Is he being attacked by the "invisible Gorn" again?"

"You never know when it might strike"

"How come these two are on the floor, too?"

"It's best to play along with it. The Captain gets angry if you don't."

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Are you sure this is the way to proceed, Mr. Chekov?"

Chekov: "Aye, sir. In Russia, we inwented tether ball."

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Finally, an attractive woman on the bridge."

Uhura: "Ahem."

Sulu: "Ahem."

Once again, Kirk gains a leg up on his rivals.

 

[Rulius]

"Yes Keptain ve are waiting for someone to post something wile and perwerted here on the viewscween.

 

[Rulius]

I must admit, the miniskirt and boots are..enticing..

 

[Rulius]

*Kirk twists some knobs.. Spock reaches and grabs the captains log* This beats a fleshlight any old time

 

[marylizz]

Talent scout Mr. Brownpants wasn't impressed with Captain Kirk's hallway-soccer skills. Luckily Dr. McCoy was experienced in nose reconstruction.