"Perhaps you're right. What is Mr Scott's condition?"
"Well I think if he laid off the pies he might-UGH"
Movie Caption Contest #102: Blu-Ray Blues - The Wrath of Khan
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"Perhaps you're right. What is Mr Scott's condition?"
"Well I think if he laid off the pies he might-UGH"
"He stayed at his post... while the others turned and ran"
"Nonsense Mr Scott, this little shit was the first one through the doors. Why if I hadn't thrown him into that plamsa conduit that ass monkey would've made it without a scratch"
"Perhaps you're right. What is Mr Scott's condition?"
"Well if he hadn't stayed awake for the past three weeks waiting for cooleddie74 to post his win-UGH"
Bones: "Don't be too sad Jim"
Kirk: "Hm? Oh I was just thinking how these new uniforms don't look like redshirts anymore. I mean it could be-"
*artery bursts, Preston dies*
Kirk: "-oh wait, there we go"
"Bones... if you could hurry this up... I really need you to trim my pubes"
McCoy: I'm sorry Scotty his injuries are pretty bad. I'm going to have to put him down. [Grabs the back of Preston's head]
Scotty: Aye. You know what is best Doctor.
Preston: Wait it's not blood or a burn mark it's ink! My pens burst during the battl...[McCoy snaps his neck]
Spock: Look at him Doctor.
McCoy: No you can't make me!
Spock: I SAID LOOK AT HIM DOCTOR!
McCoy: I said no! I will not look at Scotty "beat one off"!
McCoy (through gritted teeth): "Hi, I'm Admiral Cartright"
Kirk: "Stop it, Bones"
McCoy: "Wow, the shower is clear and no one is-UGH"
Spock: "Sorry Doctor, I have no time to wait while you spend three hours 'washing your hair'. The needs of Spock outweighs the needs of your grey hairs"
Kirk and Scotty were amazed at how skillfully Bones had removed Preston's annoying birthmark.
"What y'all order a dead guy for?"
McCoy: Ah, hell, you know what I'm gonna say.
Kirk and Scotty: He's dead, Jim.
McCoy: Yep.
Kirk: Shit, now who are we going to get to go into the reactor room if the mains go down.
Later in the movie...
McCoy: What about the ensign behind u-- (neck pinch)
Spock: I'm sorry, Doctor, but I have no time to explain this logically.
"Sorry, Doctor, emergency or not, it's still nap time."
McCoy: See, I told you I could do the Vulcan neck pinch!
Scotty: You mean he's just unconscious? Hooray!
McCoy: Nah, just kidding, he's dead.
MCCOY: Bring out yer dead.
SCOTTY: Here's one.
MCCOY: That'll be ninepence.
PRESTON: I'm not dead.
MCCOY: What?
SCOTTY: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
PRESTON: I'm not dead.
MCCOY: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
SCOTTY: Yes he is.
PRESTON: I'm not.
MCCOY: He isn't.
SCOTTY: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
PRESTON: I'm getting better.
SCOTTY: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MCCOY: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
PRESTON: I don't want to go on the cart.
SCOTTY: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MCCOY: I can't take him.
PRESTON: I feel fine.
SCOTTY: Oh, do me a favor.
MCCOY: I can't.
SCOTTY: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
MCCOY: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
SCOTTY: Well, when's your next round?
MCCOY: Thursday.
PRESTON: I think I'll go for a walk.
SCOTTY: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
PRESTON: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[McCoy glances up and down the street furtively, then silences Preston with his a whack of his club]
SCOTTY: Ah, thank you very much.
MCCOY: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
SCOTTY: Right.
Preston: <singling along to music over intercom> Disssco Disssco Duck!
Preston (sleepy): "Mom... mom is that you? God I had the weirdest dream... I was in a Delorean that could travel through time... and I ended up stranded in 1955! But then I got back to 1985, only to be whisked off to 2015, and then back to 1885"
Kirk: "Easy son, easy... you're all safe and sound here back in good ol' 2285"
Preston (suddenly awake): "2285!?!"
*dies*
McCoy: "Dammit Jim, why do you keep bringing your messes to me to keep clearing up?
Kirk: "Bones, don't even worry about that..."
McCoy: "No, No, No, No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front that said Dead Ensign Storage?"
Kirk: "Bones, you know I ain't seen no..."
McCoy: "Did you notice a sign out in front of my sickbay that said Dead Ensign Storage?"
Kirk: [pause] "No. I didn't."
McCoy: "You know WHY you didn't see that sign?"
Kirk: "Why?"
McCoy: "'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead ensigns ain't my fucking business, that's why!"
Scott: "Aye, but there is a sign saying 'Ship's Morgue'."
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