TOS Temporary Caption Contest #1: Look, Don't Touch

Spock: "I was ... teaching Miss Uhura Morse Code."
Kirk: "By tapping on her cervix?"

 

SPOCK:"My shirt isn't the only thing that's blue when you're next to me, Miss Uhura."

 

Kirk: "Where is your earpiece, Miss Uhura?"
Uhura: "Uh ..."
<Spock shifts gingerly from foot to foot.>

 

Neither officer could believe it wasn't...in fact...butter.

 

Kirk: "Just stop telling other ships about how much you like Spock's ass, unkay?"

 

UHURA:"Was that who I think it was?!"

SPOCK:"Indeed. And he appears to like wearing things that are both tight and sheer."

 

Charlie: Nice muff.

 

True story: My ex girl friends nickname was Muff, because she was very attached to a muff as a little girl. Cute name when you're eight, but problematic when you're eighteen.

 

Carl Spock: "Remind me to off that Jimmy Fallon fool for that 'Tu-Spock' sketch."

 

Spock: "Yes, Miss Uhura's nipples are rather large. The size of a standard drink coaster."
Uhura: "You're taking this whole 'Vulcans can't lie' shit too seriously, assface."

 

CARL:"Is she fine?

Dude...she is PARKING TICKET."

 

KIRK:"Good. Charlie beamed aboard just in time for the Cryogenic-Head-of-Dean Martin Transspecies and Multifaith Holiday Special!"

 

Carl Spock: "What the?! Grignak got a part in Rat Boy's new fan fic but I didn't?!"

 

Uhura *whispering*: "You do that and see what happens Carl".

 

[

"In case you were wondering...NYOTA."

SPOCK:"I believe the human expression is...gesundheit."

 

Kirk: <Flips communicator open> "BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"
Uhura: "Oh my!"




(Because, y'know, that's where it was hidden, right? Right?)

 

Spock: Why yes Captain, Uhura's new hairpiece was purchased from the same place you got yours.

 

Cleopatra Uhura: That's him Carl, the one who wouldn't pay!

 

CLEOPATRA NYOTA:"Yo, Carl...there goes Scotty carrying THE PIMP CANE!!"

CARL:"Solid."