Movie Caption Contest #71: Horse Power

[Rat Boy]

...your thoughts to my thoughts...your signature to the check for...uh, wait. Oh, right then. Enough of this Vulcan mumbo-jumbo; it's time for a new contest! First up, we have...

For the picture of T'Lar trying to pick up the NFL Network on her headdress, thy winner is...

T'LAR:"When I uncovereth thine eyes...THEN...and only then...can you looketh upon your birthday presents."

And for the picture of Shinzon getting turtle wax applied to his scalp, the winner is...

"By the Gods of Remus! I said Deanna Riker! Not Will Riker!"

And for the bonus picture of Spock showing McCoy how to take out Apollo Creed with just a nerve pinch, our winner is...

Jack had been thrilled to get the part even though it was a small one. He just wished he'd payed closer attention to the "mandatory fondling" clause.

And finally, the Photoshop award:

Congratulations to our winners and here are the updated totals:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 33
Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 31
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 24
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 20
The Laughing Vulcan 17
Outpost4 15
Shatmandu 15
Turd Ferguson 12
Triskelion 11
Diesel Micky Dolenz 10
Nebusj 10
scottydog 10
BriGuy 9
EliyahuQeoni 9
Kegek 8
cultcross 7
zephramac 7
middyseafort 7
DS9Sega 7
Tharpdevenport 6
Atavachron 6
John_Picard 5
SciFi75 5
LeadHead 5
Finn 5
Herkimer Jitty 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
Skywalker 4
The Cutest of Borg 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Kirby 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
jptrekker 3
Bad Atom 3
Peach Wookie 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
SeerSGB 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
Mistral 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
S'Kai 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1


This week, after a bit of an absence, the Shat is back. First up, Shatner and Nimoy star in Midnight Vulcan with that lady from 7th Heaven. Second, Shatner and Stewart have an ego fight while the horses watch in horror. Happy captioning:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "What's so funny? All I asked was if you knew the way to San Jose?"

Kirk: "I think I left the iron on."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Hey, baby, wanna date? 50 bucks and I'll throw the Vulcan in.
Taylor: Lift the robe, and we'll talk.

Kirk: Without Spock, Brokback Mountain isn't the same.

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Kirk: 1986 may be a bit early for you to be familiar with 'the shocker,' but my friend here has that beat anyway.

Stewart: And how would they have included you, anyway? In a flash back? Would you really have signed on for that? No, the only way to do it was to simply leave you out. Think about how I feel, Picard is still alive and I'm still not in the film.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Kirk: "Duuun duuun dundundun dundundunduuun"

Spock: "Moooooney foor nooothin! Ch-ch-ch-chicks for freeee!"

Kirk: "Hey, wanna go drive our Corvettes off of a cliff?"

Picard: "We're riding horses."

Kirk: "Oh yeah."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Gillian: "Will you guys go down on me for 20 dollars?"

Kirk: "Yes."

Spock: "No."

Kirk: "Yes."

Spock: "No."

Kirk: "Yes, I will... and so will you."

Spock: "... Yes."

Kirk: "No hairpieces?"
Picard: "We've evolved beyond the need for wigs."
Kirk: "What the hell kind of future do you call this. Fuck Veridian, fuck the Enterprise D, and fuck you. It can all burn for all I care."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Taking a cue from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Vulcan...

Picard: "In fact, we've managed to cure just about everything."

Kirk: "Everything?"

Picard: "Well, other than premature ejaculation."

Kirk: "Damn."

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "The mirror is right. This spinach caught between my teeth does appear to be larger."

Kirk: "Not quite what I meant about having a stag party."

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "Are you sure this is Idaho? That Native American just called you 'Kirok' and those two guys in the furs keep going on about the Holiest of Hollies."

Kirk: "I must be getting senile."

 

[zephramc]

Gillian: Look buddy, I'm not giving you and your friend a ride anywhere until you tell me the truth!

Kirk: Okay... the truth... We're from what, on your calendar would be the late 23rd century. We've been sent back through time to bring two whales with us in an attempt to... repopulate the species.

Gillian: Is that why your buddy was in the tank? Trying to repopulate the species!?! You sick, twisted f#cks! I should call the cops!

<Gillian drives off spinning the tires>

Spock: Admiral, would this be the time for a colorful meta...?

Kirk: Yes, it's definitely the time!

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Look, I know we're not from around here, but I know for a fact that this is San Francisco, not Sausilito!"

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk: "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you over the sound of how great I am"

Kirk: "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you over the sound of how great I am"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Wait a minute, I didn't even like Antonia."

 

[Mistral]

Picard: "All of this, the trees, the horses, even the woman back at the house-it's all a part of you."

Kirk:"Even the woman? I guess that means I fucked myself royal, eh?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "Will you please stop calling me 'Alan?'"

 

[Mistral]

After "paying" Gillian for the ride, Kirk struggled to remove the pubes caught in his teeth.

 

[Cky]

Shatner: ...and then I got the job for the underwear commercial... I'm sorry what was the question?
Woman: I just wanted directions to the local shops...
Nemoy *thinking*: Every fucking time.

Picard: Call this a bad film one more time, mothah' fucka.

 

[Maurice]

Star Trek IV: The Polygrip Generation

PICARD: Ellison's draft of "City" p0wned the version you lensed.
KIRK: You're dead to me.

 

[Candlelight]

Gillian: "...and then back in the sixties my father flew an F4 into the high atmosphere where he claims he was abducted by a strange spacecraft"
Kirk: "Yeah, about that..."

"I hate horses"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"I'll give you fifty bucks if you'll take this pechtuli-smelling doofus off my hands."

BROKEBACK NEXUS


Awww, shucks. I can never quit reality.