16-year-old girl arrested for punching dad who tried to spank her rear
- Thread starter Flying Spaghetti Monster
- Start date
Re: 16-year-old girl arrested for punching dad who tried to spank her
It's not my opinion, it's the Royal Society of Chemistry's.
It's not my opinion, it's the Royal Society of Chemistry's.
Re: 16-year-old girl arrested for punching dad who tried to spank her
Well we pulled my son out of school and are home school him this year over stupid shit like this.
-- He tested out of his kindergarten class, but instead of putting him in the IEP class the put him in lunch detention and "time out" during class. Cause his kindergarten teacher didn't want to deal with the fact that he was on a 1st grade level.
-- He was put on discipline for tagging another student while playing touch football in P.E.-- which what they were supposed to be doing. Didn't hurt the kid, just tapped her lightly on the shoulder, but the kid went home and cried to her mommy that she lost the game. So any student that had tagged her was put on discipline.
Well we pulled my son out of school and are home school him this year over stupid shit like this.
-- He tested out of his kindergarten class, but instead of putting him in the IEP class the put him in lunch detention and "time out" during class. Cause his kindergarten teacher didn't want to deal with the fact that he was on a 1st grade level.
-- He was put on discipline for tagging another student while playing touch football in P.E.-- which what they were supposed to be doing. Didn't hurt the kid, just tapped her lightly on the shoulder, but the kid went home and cried to her mommy that she lost the game. So any student that had tagged her was put on discipline.
That's my general thought, not to mention I see it as a failure of self control on the parent's part.
Re: 16-year-old girl arrested for punching dad who tried to spank her
Thanks. I never said it was your opinion.
Thanks. I never said it was your opinion.
All Seeing Eye
Admiral
Re: 16-year-old girl arrested for punching dad who tried to spank her
That they have a wrong approach doesn't mean that spanking is better. Spanking is not the only way to gain control of a situation. I'm not saying it doesn't work, I'm saying it's the least effective way to do that and diminishes any teachable moment that might come of it.
Why not just let her scream herself out if it comes down to it? What kind of behavior is taking place where you think you need to spank your niece? If it's attention-seeking, then doing a private little meeting is obviously bass ackwards.
That they have a wrong approach doesn't mean that spanking is better. Spanking is not the only way to gain control of a situation. I'm not saying it doesn't work, I'm saying it's the least effective way to do that and diminishes any teachable moment that might come of it.
Why not just let her scream herself out if it comes down to it? What kind of behavior is taking place where you think you need to spank your niece? If it's attention-seeking, then doing a private little meeting is obviously bass ackwards.
Captain X
Rear Admiral
Re: 16-year-old girl arrested for punching dad who tried to spank her
No, not really. I hope you're not making the mistake of thinking children are capable of reasoning as adults, because they can't, they just aren't mentally mature enough until they get to be about 12 (in general). Spanking establishes an unpleasant consequence for bad behavior as well as helping to establish boundaries. But then spanking isn't simply "hitting" a child, either. That's why only an open hand should be used on their bottom, because the idea is to get the kid's attention and to punish them, not to injure them.
It depends on the parent. My parents at times could, and to be honest I resented that they used a belt more than anything else. There were also definitely times just explaining something to me would've worked much better than spanking me, but that's a matter of perspective (an adult looking back on childhood) and judgment. This is also why it's important to be as calm as possible while meting out punishment, so it doesn't come off as the parent simply getting angry and losing control to the child.
Captain X
Rear Admiral
Re: 16-year-old girl arrested for punching dad who tried to spank her
I never used a belt, I used my open hand or just my index and middle finger and I never used much force. This successfully established boundaries and consequences for bad behavior (i.e. biting or peeing on the floor), and after a while it no longer became necessary, as she associated a certain tone of voice I used as a warning and she obeyed. So for me, it was still punishment, not abuse, and neither is spanking a child for misbehaving.
I never used a belt, I used my open hand or just my index and middle finger and I never used much force. This successfully established boundaries and consequences for bad behavior (i.e. biting or peeing on the floor), and after a while it no longer became necessary, as she associated a certain tone of voice I used as a warning and she obeyed. So for me, it was still punishment, not abuse, and neither is spanking a child for misbehaving.
Re: 16-year-old girl arrested for punching dad who tried to spank her
Yes, really.
I am well aware of what children's mental capacities are. In fact, I'm an expert. If you cannot come up with any way of correcting behavior without hitting your kids, you've been defeated. All your years of experience, all your learning and creativity and wisdom, and that's the best you can do?
What's more disturbing to me is that "Spanking" is a nice little euphamism parents like to use to lessen the impact of what they are doing. Most people who perpetrate domestic violence either blame the victim ("I wouldn't hit her if she'd just shut up!") or rationalize the violence ("It's for her own good"). Hitting your children is no different.
Besides, studies show parents are poor judges of how much and how hard they spank. Parents frequently undercount the number of "swats" and the pressure/force exerted by their blows. Dress it up, give it cute little nicknames, and justify it all you want. Hitting kids is poor parenting in my opinion, and no one will ever convince me otherwise.
The psychological damage done to a child by being totally dependent on someone who does violence to them can be devastating.
Yes, really.
I am well aware of what children's mental capacities are. In fact, I'm an expert. If you cannot come up with any way of correcting behavior without hitting your kids, you've been defeated. All your years of experience, all your learning and creativity and wisdom, and that's the best you can do?
What's more disturbing to me is that "Spanking" is a nice little euphamism parents like to use to lessen the impact of what they are doing. Most people who perpetrate domestic violence either blame the victim ("I wouldn't hit her if she'd just shut up!") or rationalize the violence ("It's for her own good"). Hitting your children is no different.
Besides, studies show parents are poor judges of how much and how hard they spank. Parents frequently undercount the number of "swats" and the pressure/force exerted by their blows. Dress it up, give it cute little nicknames, and justify it all you want. Hitting kids is poor parenting in my opinion, and no one will ever convince me otherwise.
The psychological damage done to a child by being totally dependent on someone who does violence to them can be devastating.
Re: 16-year-old girl arrested for punching dad who tried to spank her
Yes. I don't care how bad the teenager, spanking is simply not a suitable punishment. The incident comes off as a bit disturbing to me and the rest of the story illustrates that a lot more is wrong with that family.
Am not opposed to spanking children, but once puberty hits, its not appropriate.
Yes. I don't care how bad the teenager, spanking is simply not a suitable punishment. The incident comes off as a bit disturbing to me and the rest of the story illustrates that a lot more is wrong with that family.
Am not opposed to spanking children, but once puberty hits, its not appropriate.
Captain X
Rear Admiral
Re: 16-year-old girl arrested for punching dad who tried to spank her
Aside from a slight anxiety problem stemming from social awkwardness and academic performance, I'm pretty well-adjusted, and most of my classmates who were also spanked as children generally are too. Making overblown claims like this certainly don't help your argument since it makes your position look reactionary rather than reasoned.
Riiiight....
Have you ever had to take care of kids? Seriously. It isn't a competition, you can't "lose" with them. All my years of experience, all my learning and creativity and wisdom leads me to leave spanking as an option if other alternatives fail. Again, children do not have the capacity to reason as adults, so at times negative reinforcement is the only thing that can work. If more parents did this, children in general would probably be a lot more well-behaved, and wouldn't have the kind of "entitled" attitude so many seem to exhibit today.
Actually, no, it's not a euphamism, it's descriptive of what's happening, namely slapping the buttocks with something.
It is if the purpose actually is to discipline one's child. You keep attempting to use allegories that simply aren't compatable with a child misbehaving and a parent giving them a few swats on the ass in order to discipline them. That isn't the same as a drunken asshole coming home and using his wife or kids as a punching bag.
Link?
I don't care how you raise your children if indeed you have them or ever have them in the future, but please don't force your warped views on others by accusing them of abusing their children.
Aside from a slight anxiety problem stemming from social awkwardness and academic performance, I'm pretty well-adjusted, and most of my classmates who were also spanked as children generally are too. Making overblown claims like this certainly don't help your argument since it makes your position look reactionary rather than reasoned.
Re: 16-year-old girl arrested for punching dad who tried to spank her
Well, this being the internet and all, I understand your skepticism, and accept it. I am an expert in child psychology, and have been qualified as such in court. You can believe me or not, that's fine.
We have two children, ages 14 and 6. Neither have ever been spanked in their lives. And they're both delightful and well behaved.
I cannot find the article we read in graduate school regarding parents' estimates of their spanking behavior. You'll have to trust me...or not. That's fine.
There was a meta-analysis done over a five year period by Elizabeth Gershoff from Columbia Univerisity. She examined 88 studies over a 62 years period. Her results are mandatory reading in graduate school.
"After analyzing six decades of expert research on corporal punishment, psychologist Elizabeth Gershoff, found links between spanking and 10 negative behaviors or experiences in children, including aggression, anti-social behavior and mental health problems."
There are critics of the study, and their arguments were presented along with the study when it was published in the APA Journal.
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1355/is_3_102/ai_89388984
I am not forcing my beliefs on anyone. I am simply expressing them. You can roll your eyes at me all you like, and of course you are free to raise your kids as you wish.
I will continue to speak out against family violence as I wish.
Well, this being the internet and all, I understand your skepticism, and accept it. I am an expert in child psychology, and have been qualified as such in court. You can believe me or not, that's fine.
We have two children, ages 14 and 6. Neither have ever been spanked in their lives. And they're both delightful and well behaved.
I cannot find the article we read in graduate school regarding parents' estimates of their spanking behavior. You'll have to trust me...or not. That's fine.
There was a meta-analysis done over a five year period by Elizabeth Gershoff from Columbia Univerisity. She examined 88 studies over a 62 years period. Her results are mandatory reading in graduate school.
"After analyzing six decades of expert research on corporal punishment, psychologist Elizabeth Gershoff, found links between spanking and 10 negative behaviors or experiences in children, including aggression, anti-social behavior and mental health problems."
There are critics of the study, and their arguments were presented along with the study when it was published in the APA Journal.
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1355/is_3_102/ai_89388984
I am not forcing my beliefs on anyone. I am simply expressing them. You can roll your eyes at me all you like, and of course you are free to raise your kids as you wish.
I will continue to speak out against family violence as I wish.
Captain X
Rear Admiral
Re: 16-year-old girl arrested for punching dad who tried to spank her
Have fun. And you're damn right I'm skeptical, because everything I've seen for myself disagrees with the assertion that spanking a child is somehow abusive to them. IMO that cheapens the real abuse that's going on, like when a drunk parent or foster parent comes home and decides to use their kid as a punching bag, or when there's molestation going on. That is abuse. Discipline is not. The only time problems happen are when parents are excessive in their use of spanking.
Have fun. And you're damn right I'm skeptical, because everything I've seen for myself disagrees with the assertion that spanking a child is somehow abusive to them. IMO that cheapens the real abuse that's going on, like when a drunk parent or foster parent comes home and decides to use their kid as a punching bag, or when there's molestation going on. That is abuse. Discipline is not. The only time problems happen are when parents are excessive in their use of spanking.
Re: 16-year-old girl arrested for punching dad who tried to spank her
No idea if this has come up or not, but I feel like a little Russell Peters would do the thread some good:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn5jlrxcpkI
No idea if this has come up or not, but I feel like a little Russell Peters would do the thread some good:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn5jlrxcpkI