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Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Nerd Alert! Nerd Alert!

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KIRK:"Pike said this conga-line crap would take the edge off of everyone's nerves--but I feel like such a dork....."

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Pike: "If anyone receives any distress calls from Talos IV, put your fingers in your ears,
whistle, and shut the fuck up about it".
 
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KIRK:"Open the pod bay doors, please, HAL."
HAL: "I'm sorry--but I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave....."
KIRK: "Who the fuck is 'Dave'?"

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Pike: "I gots me a bad hankerin' for some of them green animal women.
Helm, lay in a course--for love."
 
If we're still doing Airplane! quotes:

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Pike: "Nervous, Cadet?"
Kirk: "Yes"
Pike: "First time?"
Kirk: "No, I've been nervous lots of times"
 
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Pike: Ok, I want a six foot trench dug around the ship, fill it with gasoline. You, get the women and children to the lower shelters. Contact the Japanese ambassador. Rorshach, get me a complete profile of everyone who has seen the Sound of Music more than four times.
 
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Pike: James T. Kirk?
ensign: You know him?
Pike: Never heard of him. That's not exactly true. We were like brothers. We flew together during the war. We were close, real close until.
ensign: until sir?
Pike: That day over Macho Grande.
Engisn: Over Macho Grande?
Pike: No, I"m afraid I'll ever get over Macho Grande.
 
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Kirk: We Better get up to the tower.
Uhura: We have no tower sir.
Kirk: No tower?
Uhura: just a bridge sir.
Kirk: WHY ARE THE HELL I NOT NOTIFIED ABOUT THESE THINGS!


ok, I think it's out of my system now.
 
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Pike: Fire all canon, Kirk!
Kirk: Don't you mean, "Fire all cannons," sir?
Pike: You heard me right, mister. Those are direct orders from Commodore Abrams.
Kirk: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
 
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Pike: Chekov, listen, and you listen close: flying a starship is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.
 
Please ignore the fact that Kirk is behind Pike for this moment.


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Pike: "This is Fleet Captain Pike. Kirk, have you found the bowling alley yet. I need a beer and ten pins after this shift from hell."

*Camera fades to lower decks*

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Kirk *Out of breath*: "No, sir, we havnt. However we have found that device in engineering, those red lights keep moving back and forth, aside from that, the device seems to have no function whatsoever sir."
 
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