Trek XI Caption Contest #2: Only the Lonely

[Rat Boy]

Well, what a wild week. There was a lot to sift through, but let's move on to...

* - Winner image temporary until we get a pic of Quinto-Spock shouting.


For our first picture, where the brand new Dr. McCoy asks why there's a restaurant hostess podium on the bridge, the winner is...

McCoy: 'Nero'... yeah. Good one, Spock. I always thought you had a sense of humor.
Now... what's the bad guy really called? Give it to us straight, apostrophes an' all.​

For the photo of the new Spock getting tired of being called Sylar, our winner is...

Quinto: "It's Quinto, not Quiznos!"

Toasty! Now, for the winners of the special Photoshop award, of which there were a couple:

Kirk: Well.. this is slightly uncomfortable.

I'm probably going to that special hell for this, but...

The uniforms of the new Star Trek movie were deemed incomplete until the appropriate headgear was donned.

Finally, a special award for Best Cross-Caption Contest Joke:

1:47 into the film...

Kirk: Look, It is I--the great Captain Kirk--returned from the future to save the past!

Bones: Sorry toupee-boy, some old guy with pointed ears already showed up from the future hours ago and helped us take out a Romulan from the future and "save the past" as you put it.
Now, we're just standing around giving the vulcan a hard time about how he showed "primitive" human emotions and having a good laugh--even though countless crewmen are dead and the engineer here is scarred for life after having to give the kiss of life to some guy in an Afro after he OD'd on Antaraen glow water.

Congratulations to the winners! This week we take aim at a couple solo shots from the media blitz from last week. First we have Eric Bana starring as Nero, who's starring as Shinzon in the Romulan Community Theater production, A Warbird Named Desire. Finally, we have Chris Pine as Captain Kirk, struggling to escape William Shatner's dastardly plan to keep him out of the movie by shipping to Antartica. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Nero: "And Ayel keeps leaving the stopper off the top of the Romulan ale..."

Ayel: "I do not!"

Nero: "Which one of us has the talking stick? That's right; me!"

Kirk: "Why did I have to cut a fart before I landed?"

 

[Sector 7]

Yeah, I'm bad... Romulan Goth Rulez!

PINE: Never shoulda gone to that Canon Fanboy Con... where am I?

 

[LutherSloan]

Nero could not figure out why his fiddle had been replaced with an oversized cattle prod...

 

[M'Sharak]

...

For our first picture, where the brand new Dr. McCoy asks why there's a restaurant hostess podium on the bridge, the winner is...

http://img368.imageshack.us/img368/29/surprise1jw8.jpg

McCoy: 'Nero'... yeah. Good one, Spock. I always thought you had a sense of humor.
Now... what's the bad guy really called? Give it to us straight, apostrophes an' all.

Thanks! And good going, everyone else who took part.

Here goes:

"I should have known that wasn't it, either. Damn it, I'm never going to find the head on this ship! Hey... where's the ship?"

 

[Swarles Barkley]

Bana: "Let's see Edward Fucking Norton pull off this look!"

 

[Amaris]

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.

"I swear, next time I see an atomic matter pile circuit open, I'm closing it and writing up whomever was responsible. They'll thank me for it later."


J.

 

[Samurai8472]

Nero- One I kill Roxio I will be the superior dvd burning software

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Nero: Hmmm... maybe getting my hair shaved like Preator Shinzon was a mistake. Oh, well, guess I'll just travel back in time, destroy the Federation and that'll ever prevent that bald clone from ever become Preator. Thus, I'll never get this look. HA. HA. Pure evil....

Kirk: Damnit, where's the ghost of Obi Wan when you need him.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Nero thought this pic on his E-Harmony profile made him look thoughtful and introspective. Yet no ladies had responded.

KIRK: Mental note, "Do not piss off the Governor of Alaska."

 

[shapeshifter]

From now on, I am going to make them call me LORD Nero!

Holy shit! What an ass kicking! That is the last time I call him Quiznos!

 

[ancient]

SATAN: "Kirk is so foolish to think he can kick my ass! The day he defeats me will be a cold day in Hell!"

SATAN: "...Oh SHIT."

 

[Classic Fan]

I was going to do this for the new bridge images in the previous caption but got here too late, it was going be JJ onscreen updating from Shatner and co to Pine and co's ship, but ive had alter my idea a little.







Int. old Enterprise bridge module. Starbase 001. Earth orbit.

McCoy: "What in the gorram universe is this?"
Kirk: "I 'unno. Scotty?"
Scotty: "Nah uh.."

[cheesey american accent] Hello and welcome to extreeeeeeme makeover... Star Trek Edition. Now remember how your bridge used to be all bright and white and spacious. And how it wouldnt look out of place in an Apple store or in a Sony warehouse. Well, stand back, Enterprise Crew, we have a mystery special guest to unveil what we have created.

Now, after months of speculation, we finally saw pictures of the new bridge, and surprise, a few were not too pleased. So on their behalf, we have been on the war path to create something that will please that majority...


Nero, please...

Nero: "Hey, Kirrrrrrrk, ol' buddy. Ive Firefly'd up your bridge. Duuuude, its shiny lookin'. Rusty lookin' an' rugid now. Whatya think, you happy? Cos i sure am. Its better than the Euronics centre youve been flying around all year. The chair is now worn leather and it creaks. How cool. it has smuggling hatches, removable pulse beakons and a cry baby to evade the authorities."

 

[ancient]

NEROmetal: "No, that giant speaker on the cieling is not nearly giant enough!"

SPOCK: "Captain, perhaps 'because it is there' is not sufficient reason for climbing a glacier."

KIRK: "Must...prove...machoness..."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Nero: "Hmm... maybe I should have beamed all the refrigerators off the planet before nuking it."

Kirk: "Where'd I leave my fedora?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "The black shirt might not be canon, but it sure is warm!"

 

[ancient]

NERO: "This is ancient Earth's most foolish program. Why does Joey, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?!"

 

[26138]

Kirk: Damnit Scotty, when I said I'd bring the ice, I meant a couple cups of ice for the scotch, not the whole damned glacier!

Pine: "KHAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Abrams: "Wrong movie, kiddo..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

When Academy hazing gets out of hand

 

[Pensive]

Kirk: Damn you Hank Pym, for trapping me inside this sno-cone!