Not to beat a dead horse, but does the Earth/Romulan conflict had to be a space war? The conflict could've been set on a planet, like a conventional war, and vessels not as complex as TOS ships were sent to bring supplies and weapons. Just imagine there were a series of conflicts or battles in not just one planet but multiple planets between the Romulans, Earth, and the Vulcans, I think this scenario would be a satisfying event than another series desperately failing to ape off Star Wars.
Whatever the outcome, the Romulans stayed off the map for a century and their ships and weapons were not up to date like a Starship and their vessels lacked defensive screens and indulge in a stealth process. Basically, after this war the Romulans suffered from an economic and technological collapse; rebuilding their foundation as time pass by. So I don't believe the Romulans had a cloaking device during that War, and had to use unconventional means to re-invent what was lost. Casualties of War. Earth and the Vulcans continued to prosper as the Romulans licked their wounds and hibernated until they could threaten the Galaxy again.
Its only because TOS establishes it as a ship-to-ship conflict with no visual communications. And its supposed to start because the Romulans attack the first starbase. Presumably because the starbase was built in Romulan territory, and its construction was seen as an act of war by the Romulan Empire as a result. Which keeps it in the continuity of Romulans rarely being the aggressors in initiating conflicts.
My headcanon though thinks that the Romulans use the holotech from the drone ship to emulate Vulcan ships (both operable and damaged) - as a type of Trojan horse - in order to send members of the Tal Shiar disguised as Vulcans, or actual half-Romulan Vulcans, to spy on, disrupt, and stir up dissent in the Coalition of Planets members on a mass scale. Which would give Section 31 and Starfleet Intelligence a reason to covertly work against the Romulans. So instead of being in space, they’re on Earth, Mars, Vulcan, Andoria, Coridan, etc. outing Romulan spies and trying to prevent the Coalition from being destabilized. And then the missions are marked classified for at least two centuries, explaining why no one knows of these events.
As for the cloaks, headcanon says that the Romulans either gave the Suliban Cabal cloaks to test them, or they stole Suliban technology and were trying to reverse engineer it around the time of “Minefield.” I lean towards the latter, since the Temporal Cold War screwed up the possibility of the Suliban Cabal being proxies of the Romulan Empire. Either way, there was a reason that Enterprise was able to scans for cloaking tech so easily.
There have been many non-canonical books written about the Earth-Romulan War (The Good That Men Do, The Romulan Way). I wonder if it would be acceptable to have those books be considered canon. Not in the sense of producing episodes based on them, but by using the titles of the books as history books and their authors as historians. So, a captain is looking through a historical database on the subject and the list of comes up, and can quote events or facts or various aspects of the war from them.