Everyone has different standards of what is necessary to make things "fit". We were given a consistent vision of what the Pike/Kirk-era of Trek looked like for near fifty years, there was going to be push back when that changed, that is life.
For me, the look is only part of the problem of treating the Discovery universe as "Prime", there is a completely different feel to it that simply doesn't match up with what came before.
So it is simply easier to treat the Discovery universe (or TOS, if one is so inclined) as not part of the overall whole. Everyone's mileage may vary.
I agree with a lot of this. For me it has always seemed like the design of the show was done backwards for a prequel.