Contest: ENTER ENT Caption Competition #117: Dessert Crossing

Trip: Captain! Look! I think someone's come to salvage the contest. Wait...just a mirage.

 

What's wrong with these fans? Why won't one of them just take command already? It's friggin hot....
Caterina: I don't know your show
Trip: At this point, I just want off this contest time loop....
Cat: Ask the beagle-starts with a P. He's loyal!
All three of us: Porthos!

 

Trip: "What is that over there?"

 

Trip: Damnit! I hit it in the sand trap again.
Archer: Kind of hard not to

Alernate caption
Trip: Damnit! I hit it in the sand trap again.
Archer: Well, this is the hardest fairways in regulation course on the tour

 

Archer: Well, we're screwed. That leaves us only one option...
Trip: We can't!!
Archer: It's "Enterprise" Trip...we have to...we implausibly go back in time and screw with stuff.
Trip: NOT AGAIN!
Archer: Just a little one, we'll go back about 3 years and start over...it'll be fine...
Trip: Do I die this time?
Archer: Maybe. Setting the time tricorder to May 7, 2015...

 

Trip: "Why do they look so angry?"

Archer: "I don't think this is what they had in mind when they said they wanted us to do some 'Spooning'."

 

Trip: "How much longer Captain?"

Archer: "Just another 135 days and this caption contest will have been open a full year."

 

Hey, Archer....


I....


...WOW!....


I think I'm going to lose....
Archer: Weight?
Trip: No,.. yes...but.. didn't you see ANY of this??

 

Archer (singing): "Sand in the clowwwwwwnnnnns..."
Tucker: "Stop! Just. Stop."

 

• 
• Bakula ;..You have a little something on your chin...
• Brown ; ..I wished that I was in the voice studio doing Mr Krabs for SpongeBob...

 

Tattoo concept that was rejected from Beltran's screen test and recycled for this guy.

 

"I was chewing on my pen earlier. Did I get anything on my mouth?"

 

*claps* and I singing it in my head while I read it.

 

Archer: "We have a excellent doctor aboard my ship."
Alien: "And the doctor could alleviate my problem."
Archer: "Make it so you could open your eyes fully."
Alien: "I was referring to this horrible tattoo, but sure what you said."

 

This is how you learn to 'sleep' in prison. Never close your eyes or you get this *directs to chin*

 

Archer: Yo dawg!
Dog: Worst Randy Jackson impersonation ever

 

What? You mean this contest might finally come to an end?

 

Archer: "Forget the mystery meat icon with smiley faces on either side of it, just tell us with actual words!"

(disclaimer: There's no double entendre, the term regarding web page pictures as opposed to text links, aka "mystery meat", was coined in the 1990s. It is still in use today, though not as often (sadly).