TNG Caption This! #434: Costume Party

[LeadHead]

Hello, everyone! New contest time!

First up to the plate, we have the "Injectors Choice" Award, going to:

PICARD [thinking]: Guy wears a hairband on his face and I'm the one they're injecting with drugs.

Next, we have the "Dream or Telepathy?" Award, going to:

Troi: "Oh, Beverly! I had the most horrible nightmare! I was trying to get some rest in sickbay, but there were three perverts gawking at me and imagining all kinds of disgusting sexual scenarios!"

Next, we have the "Dedicated to her Profession" Award, going to:

Pulaski: Ambassador, I'll have you know I take my medical career very seriously. I'm not doing this just for the halibut.

Next, we have the "Lost & Found" Award, going to:

Worf: So that's where I left that phaser!
Crusher: So that's where I left the commander!

Next, we have the "Priorities" Award, going to:

CRUSHER: Inspection's over, we can go back to playing Candy Crush.

NURSE: What makes you think I stopped?

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Pulaski: Wait, I've found your problem....

There shall be two winners here today, first up...

Pulaski: According to my readings, you should be served with red wine.

And our second winner...

"Well, no wonder you're so healthy: the tricorder indicates you're 98% fish oil."

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, just in time for Halloween, our costume caption contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: I guess we shouldn't have had Worf try to ride the horse.

Wesley: Trick or Treat!

Picard: Security to Holodeck 1.

Barclay: I will defeat all of you!

Laughter

Worf: Captain, that hat is very dangerous. May I wear it?

Riker: Doctor, stop taking selfies and figure out why the people died!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Troi: "Oops! Someone must have screwed the pooch on their research! The locals are all wearing mid-twentieth century business suits!"
Picard: "All right, everyone. Get ready to dazzle 'em with bullshit!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Qui diable est "Robin Hood"?

 

[shivkala]

Data: I am sorry, I am not going back to the renaissance fair.

Geordi: Come on, Data, there are so few places I can wear my jester costume.

Data: I do not care. There are far too many historical anomalies for my comfort.

Riker: Oh, okay, how about this. You can go dressed as a 23rd Century science officer exploring a planet very similar to Earth in the fifteen hundreds.

Data: You mean like Spock?

Riker: [shrugs] Sure.

Data: Fascinating.

Data: I know understand the colloquialism, "Private Dick," sir.

Wesley: You guys look nothing like the candy wrapper.

Picard: ...so this isn't "A Christmas Carol"?

Data: No, sir, we're immersing ourselves in a Sherlock Holmes adventure.

Picard: Holmes? Humbug!

Riker: What's the hold-up, Doctor?

Crusher: Damn tricorder touchscreen doesn't work with gloves!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "We were just going out for a night on the town."
Holo-character in hallway: "Three mugs and one dame? Ain't you worried about yer reputation, lady?"
Data: "What happens on the holodeck stays on the holodeck."
Crusher: "Besides which, nothing's going to happen on the holodeck."
Whalen: "Dammit!"

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Riker, after showing the crew his William Tell routine with Wesley.

PICARD: Ahh, it's the police chief. What brings you here?
CHIEF: I'm sorry Dix, we have to put you under arrest.
PICARD: For what reason?
CHIEF: Your terrible fake old timey accents. They're causing a disturbance.

HOLO-PICARD: Hahaha! We couldn't hope to compete with Mr Barcalay! Not in fencing skill, and not in our competitive sex events!
GEORDI: Wh-what?
HOLO-PICARD: Are you not here for the competitive sex event? We all make love with the Goddess of Empathy, and it's judged by the Olympic rules established in 2124!
GEORDI: Okay, SHUTTIN IT DOWN!

PICARD: I hope you all enjoy the magic show.
DATA: Before we begin sir. Are you aware that there are two doves hidden under your hat?
PICARD: Err...
DATA: And I couldn't help but notice that your bag contains a deck of playing cards where every card is the four of spades. Is it not customary for a standard deck of cards to contain four of each sequential denomination....
PICARD: Yes Data, that will be all!

BEVERLY: Looks like you hit that police officer harder than you thought. He's dead.
RIKER: I hope I didn't change the past too much. What was his name?
BEVERLY: Let's see...Jebediah Riker.
RIKER: Umm... (Disappears)

 

[GeorgeKirk]

Captain's Log, Stardate 43210.5: It seems we may have misunderstood the theme of the "Robin" cosplay contest.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: How did Worf wind up as Maid Marian?

 

[Captain Crow]

[knock on door]

[Picard opens door]

Female singing: Da da da da da da! I, am, your singing telegram!

[Picard pulls out gun and shoots]

[sound of a body hitting the floor]

[Picard shuts door]

 

[Triskelion]

T4TPSA Illusive Man! And apologies in advance for this one...

Athos: Gay?? Why I'm as straight as my sword, sir!
Aramis: As straight as my bearing, sir!
Porthos: As straight as my raddoppio, sir!
D'Artagnan: Mon bout doth beg to disagree.http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Nerys Myk]

Awkward

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard, at the top of his lungs: Puttin' on da Riiiiiiiiiiitzz.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Director (just off camera): "Annnd CUT!"

Patrick: "Oh, God, John -- before you got on set they were asking what size vest you wear and how I felt about a tiny green hat -- I think we've in for another Q fantasy episode."

Marina: "Oh, God, Patrick, you were right."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: I'm supposed to be Holmes!

DATA: But I'm wearing a deerstalker and an Inverness cape

PICARD: Which Holmes did not wear in the books!

DATA: But he did wear in the films!

RIKER: Nerds.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Data: It's only a model.

Everyone: SSHH!!

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Shake the bush Worf, so we know you're all right!

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard, offscreen: THERE ARE FOUR MUSKETEERS!

Musketeers: SHUT UP!

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Ah, I thought this was supposed to be a costume party...

NEYACHEV: It's a diplomatic reception.

PICARD: So I guess there won't be a Group Costume Award?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Troi: "OMg, who's that?"

Picard: "That's Guinan, my new hire for 10-Forward."

Troi: "Oh no, Guinan -- has Q taken you too to be in his fantasy world?"

Guinan (just off screen): "No, I'm just going to work. Why do you ask?"

Troi: "Your big ha--"

Picard: Interrupting, "Shhh...."