CRUSHER: Pass this test and you're a qualified Starfleet medical officer.
BLUESHIRT: Is it hard?
CRUSHER: Nah it's nothing. To pass the Bridge Officer's Test, I had to win three games of Battleship.
TNG Caption This! #433: Medical Mysteries
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CRUSHER: Pass this test and you're a qualified Starfleet medical officer.
BLUESHIRT: Is it hard?
CRUSHER: Nah it's nothing. To pass the Bridge Officer's Test, I had to win three games of Battleship.
Crusher: The device I'm injecting will allow Geordi to see through your eyes temporarily
Picard: I'm assuming it will wear off well before our breakfast tomorrow
Riker: Picard to sick bay. I think you'll want to be here for this
Pulaski: His rendition of Moon River is really quite spectacular
Crusher: Who gave him a phaser?
Worf: You said he'd never regain sexual function. I assumed suicide was the only option
Crusher: If we don't get an immediate isolinear chip donor, we're going to lose this bio bed!
Crusher: The device I'm injecting will protect you from the Pumpkin Spice fever we have around here.
Troi: I had a terrible dream! My Chocolate Ice cream was no longer chocolate. It was Ben and Jerry's Pumpkin Spice Girl 900 calories!!!!
Assistant Nurse: "This empty biobed is a metaphor, doctor. It represents the number of people wou'll get it on with during the show's run."
O'BRIEN: What happened?
RIKER: Brain freeze. Deanna tried to eat an entire carton Rocky Road in under a minute.
Crusher: "If this old bed could talk, it could surely tell some stories! It's seen a lot of medical drama over the years."
Nurse: "It looks it! Are any of those stains still infectious?"
Troi: "Oh, Beverly! I had the most horrible nightmare! I was trying to get some rest in sickbay, but there were three perverts gawking at me and imagining all kinds of disgusting sexual scenarios!"
Crusher: ...and that will also take care of your monthly contraceptive. *wink*
Troi: HE HAS A BEARD NOW. I MUST GO TO HIM.
Crusher: It's not that good a beard, Deanna.
Riker: I beg your pardon?
O'Brien: The commander's is a right good beard!
Data: I must concur. Counselor, you have no choice.
Pulaski: ...ooh. Multiple lifesigns. Tell the kitchen we've got CAVIAR TONIGHT!
Crusher: He didn't escape, Alyssa, he...phased out of our plane of existance. In another plane of existance, he's...right there. Begging for help.
Alyssa: He totally escaped.
Crusher: Maybe spontaneous combustion.
...that's a thing now, isn't it? It's the 24th century.
Antidean: "Disappointed?"
Pulaski: "Well...I gotta say...you don't look at all like your eHarmony photo."
Picard: You gave me an injection, it's only fair I get to give you one next.
Crusher: Do who now?
Geordi: Wait a minute, this isn't engineering...!
Male Nurse: Yep, carpet matches the drapes....
Nurse: Shouldn't we always start at the top and work our way down?
Crusher: Do what now?
http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/
Male Nurse: Yep, carpet matches the drapes....
O'Brien: "Ay, they do. OH, you meant counselor Troi!"
Picard: This is good shit.
Crusher: I can't believe we never did this before.
La Forge: I can see rainbows.
Troi: What happened?
Crusher: You had a threesome with Riker and O'Brien. Everyone has herpes. Try not to panic.
Pulaski: According to my readings, you should be served with red wine.
Worf: He's been here for hours. It doesn't look good. Can you help him doctor?
Crusher: Oh shit, I left the iron on.
Crusher: I'm afraid he's dead.
Nurse: What species was he?
Crusher: I don't know but I'm gonna name them... "The flat cushiony type people."
She's going to want me to sign her copy of Rumours
Crusher: Hold still, Jean-Luc, this hyper-viagra is very potent.
Picard: I'm already feeling it's affects.
Crusher: I can see that, spandex doesn't allow you to hide anything.
Picard: I don't think I'll be able to get back to your quarters, Beverly, I might have to take you right here on this biob--La Forge? How long have you been there?
La Forge: Long enough to feel very, very ill, sir.
Crusher: It's alright, Deanna, just stay calm.
Troi: Beverly, we have to do it, right now! It can't wait!
Crusher: Just hold on two minutes, Alyssa will be back with out leotards and we can practice our sexy yoga again.
Riker: [Thinking] Yes! Front row seat!
All of Pulaski's skill couldn't determine why the aquatic alien had both a nose and gills on his face.
Crusher: So other than the face boo-boo, what's wrong with him?
Crusher: Nurse Not-Ogawa, where is the patient?
Nurse: ...
"Well, no wonder you're so healthy: the tricorder indicates you're 98% fish oil."
OR
"You're highly inebriated. Someone here was going to post it, so: you drink like a fish."
"You're highly inebriated. Someone here was going to post it, so: you drink like a fish."
Ambassador: I'm a Drummer from the 60's it is more than drinking!
Crusher: "Here we are. Last stop on your new-crewmember orientation tour. This is our exam bed. While we're here, why don't you take off your uniform and hop up onto it and I'll give you a quick once over?"
New Nurse: "Alyssa warned me about you."
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Pulaski: Ambassador, I'll have you know I take my medical career very seriously. I'm not doing this just for the halibut.
Mick Fleetwood: Worldwide tours. Million-selling albums. Hit singles. The roar of the crowds. NOW look at me!
``Still,'' he reflected, ``it is nice having some quiet time away from my groupers.''
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