Worst. Line. Ever.

[Guartho]

^
Because we all know Nichelle Nichols interpretation of past events is always spot on.

Indeed. Dorothy Fontana said it was Gene's idea.

"You like your scrambled eggs soft. Have I ever brought them to you any other way?"

Yeah... I want to smack the shit out of Archer for that one too. "Oh... you make good eggs. You couldn't possibly be here for nefarious purposes."

As I sit here I have a new rationalization... the line is a secret section 31 code phrase that is given to Captains along with the order "If you hear anyone say this, do what they tell you to do." Daniels, having planned for his mission in a competent fashion read up on how to get 22nd century Starfleet captains to do what he tells them to do.

 

[Red Ranger]

"Brain and brain! What is brain?"

Seconded. And even though I like A Piece of the Action, one line always bugged me. When Oxmyx tell Spock that Krako has put the bag on Kirk (kidnapped him), Spock asks, "Why would he put a bag over our captain?" Just bugs me, as it's kind of forced comedy. -- RR

 

[Red Ranger]

Better question: Why is it that whenever good guys die, they always get to lie on their back and utter one melodramatic last line before they flatline? I hate that cliché!

Great Bad Guy death line from "Big Jake"--with a better line right afterwards:

Richard Boone: "Who are you?"
John Wayne: "Jacob McCandles."
Richard Boone: "I thought you was dead."
**dies**
John Wayne: "Not hardly."

Sometimes ST bad guys get melodramatic deaths, too. Like in Journey to Babel, when Thelev the fake Andorian/Orion spy reveals to Kirk he's just taken slow poison so they can't interrogate him. As the security guards attempt to take him to Sick Bay, he doubles up, as the poison kills him quicker than the 10 minutes he said he had. He turns around and says, "I seem to have . . . miscalculated!" Then he dies. Love that scene! -- RR

 

[Myasishchev]

Thelev should've taken the time to eat a hearty breakfast.

 

[All Seeing Eye]

First Contact.

Data: "Resistance is feudal."

-------------------------------------------------------------

Insurrection.

Riker: "I intend to ram it down the Sonas throats."

*Female Trill looks at Riker with a stupid smirk on her face*

-------------------------------------------------------------

Nemsis.

Worf: "The Romulans fought with honour".

Riker: "That they did Mr Worf, that they did."

 

[Elder Knight]

In "Court Martial," Spock informs McCoy that he's about to (incredibly) defeat the ship's computer at chess.

"Observe: Rook to King's Pawn Four . . . "

Nonsense! No matter how variant his Three Dimensional Chess may be, unless the bloomin' pawns have their own files, there ain't no such square. They'd never name a file or a square on it after a pawn.

Actually, his designation is a variant on the descriptive chess notation that went out of style decades ago. He'd certainly be using algebraic notation by then, especially for a 3D game. He should have said something like "Observe: Rook to ay four one," (i.e., R-(a4,1), Rook to the a4 square on level one).

 

[Sector 7]

In "Court Martial," Spock informs McCoy that he's about to (incredibly) defeat the ship's computer at chess.

"Observe: Rook to King's Pawn Four . . . "

Nonsense! No matter how variant his Three Dimensional Chess may be, unless the bloomin' pawns have their own files, there ain't no such square. They'd never name a file or a square on it after a pawn.

Actually, his designation is a variant on the descriptive chess notation that went out of style decades ago. He'd certainly be using algebraic notation by then, especially for a 3D game. He should have said something like "Observe: Rook to ay four one," (i.e., R-(a4,1), Rook to the a4 square on level one).

Since Three Dimensional Chess was a fictional game made up for TOS, I would imagine any rules or designations they made up would be correct.
Later on the game was given rules by the fans and played by same.

 

[eepruls]

Not really a line, more of a strange "grunt".

In "The Naked Now" when Crusher is coming on to Picard, Picard trys to back away, feeling uncomfortable, and makes the strangest sound like he's clearing his throat and yelping at the same time. That always amused me

That made me laugh my head off. I too have always hated that grunt. That episode is on TV in 15 minutes so I'm going to catch it again! LOL

There are some really good additions to this thread but one of the lines that drive me nuts is from Troi in Cause and Effect when the ship is about to be destroyed and she tells Picard "We have to get out of here!" I mean, no shit Sherlock! If I was Picard I would have told her to do something helpful instead of sitting there and telling me the obvious. The ship is frickin shaking like crazy, is caught in the temporal rift and can't move, and is about to be rammed by another ship and you're telling me we have to get out of here? Thanks Counselor! The worst part is she says that stupid line like 4 times in the episode!

 

[Elder Knight]

Since Three Dimensional Chess was a fictional game made up for TOS, I would imagine any rules or designations they made up would be correct.
Later on the game was given rules by the fans and played by same.

True. But you'd think the new game had some relation to plain old flat chess.

Had he named some odd color or piece or suggested a rank or file beyond eight, I could have accepted that ("Unicorn to Queen Giraffe 15, and of course the Blue Emperor is in double check from the Unicorn and the Zebra.") But naming squares in relation to pawns . . . that's going too far.

 

[I am not Spock]

Nothing beats:

DATA (to Worf): Have you noticed your boobs have started to firm up?

TORRES: "Get the cheese to Sickbay!"

Curse you! I was thinking of that 'cheese' line.

It's so mindbogglingly bad, its almost good!

 

[Smellincoffee]

One of Kes' scenes from "Time and Again" always makes me groan. Kes is experiencing visions about this planet of people being vaporized by what I assume are meant to be the 24th century's nuclear power plants in terms of controversy. I can't find the line on Memory Alpha or IMDB, but she keeps coming to the bridge, sobbing, saying things like "I could see them burning....BURNING....BURNING! Ashes where they stood!"

Between the line and the delivery, it made me dislike Kes for a little while.

 

[bluedana]

From ENT:Breaking the Ice.

Archer says, "Call the Vulcan ship. Tell them we're about to make a very loud noise."

Except - they're using charges to blow a crater in a comet to get to the mineral in its core. In space. Where there is no sound.

Migraine inducing, that one.

 

[eepruls]

For me, Code of Honor (TNG - Season 1) produced the most cringe worthy exchange in all of Trek. Troi and Picard go to see Tasha and Deanna starts going on about how strong and masculine Lutan is to which Tasha replies, "well yes!". Then she realizes that she's hot for Lutan and blurts out, "Troi, I'm your friend and you tricked me!" Troi pretends to be professional and says, "Only so you'd think about it, honestly and openly". I mean, WTF? She's frickin been abducted and could die and the stupid counselor is suggesting she has the hots for her abductor? It's so insulting and out of place. What does it add to the plot or character development? That the women can't be professional when there's a man in the room? That whole exchange makes me want to puke.

 

[Hneftafl]

"Dill!"

- Captain Kirk, "Generations"

 

[urbandk]

SPOCK: A person would age only one month for every one hundred years of real time.
RAND: One hundred years and only one month?
SPOCK: Exactly.

 

[Myasishchev]

From ENT:Breaking the Ice.

Archer says, "Call the Vulcan ship. Tell them we're about to make a very loud noise."

Except - they're using charges to blow a crater in a comet to get to the mineral in its core. In space. Where there is no sound.

Migraine inducing, that one.

This is the same episode where Mayweather breaks his leg by falling on that selfsame comet, right? A comet with a gravity of about .000001G? And made of slush and graphite?

 

[M.Robison]

Caithlin Dar- "We have surrendered ourselves to the Galactic Army of Light."

Every time I see the movie I think "What putz calls their army the "Galactic Army Of Light"?

 

[bluedana]

From ENT:Breaking the Ice.

Archer says, "Call the Vulcan ship. Tell them we're about to make a very loud noise."

Except - they're using charges to blow a crater in a comet to get to the mineral in its core. In space. Where there is no sound.

Migraine inducing, that one.

This is the same episode where Mayweather breaks his leg by falling on that selfsame comet, right? A comet with a gravity of about .000001G? And made of slush and graphite?

Sigh. Yeah, and also they leave the shuttle's gull-wing hatch open, then get in and immediately take off their helmets. As if all of the heat and atmo wouldn't have been sucked out of the shuttle, leaving it freezing and airless. I think the writers just all around forgot that a comet is not a planet.

 

[Frontier]

Kirk telling Kang to "Go to the Devil" - personification of 1960s over-censorship lame-i-tude.

 

[Turtletrekker]

"A poop question, sir?"