What if 'Old Trek' dialogue was written like 'New Trek' dialogue?

[Tosk]

These are just the first bits of dialogue that came to mind from Picard season three specifically, so there's plenty more of course. I didn't even get to hit the F word!

Trek has always had stylized dialogue to varying degrees, but there's no denying that the style has shifted in more recent years, so I wondered how the new words might sound coming out of the mouths of previous characters. About as jarring as I expected.

To be clear, I'm not shitting on a show you may love just because it's new. Juxtaposition does all the work here.
Anyone got other choice bits of dialogue?

 

[fireproof78]

Fuck yeah.

 

[Rowdy Roddy McDowall]

This recalls a much older thread speculating how original TREK might have sounded on HBO. (The original poster was Foxhot, I believe, but we'll let his open door rest in peace.)

But the MAN TRAP Spock definitely shouted ''It's @#$%ing KILLING the @#$%ing CAPTAIN!!! @#$%ing shoot it, Doctor, QUICK!!!''*

''@#$% you!!! I won't shoot Nancy!''

(*quickly, HBO-Spock.)

 

[at Quark's]

I could see Garak responding 'Major, vulgarity is no substitute for wit' to that one....
(From Downton Abbey).

 

[evilchumlee]

"Yum Yum"

 

[1001001]

 

[BillJ]

View attachment 39433

How am I supposed to take that seriously when he is in a TNG uniform holding a TOS phaser?!

 

[1001001]

How am I supposed to take that seriously when he is in a TNG uniform holding a TOS phaser?!

Canon Violation!!!

 

[Finn]

How am I supposed to take that seriously when he is in a TNG uniform holding a TOS phaser?!

Didn't Pulp Fiction have some retro vibe?

CANON! DAMMNIT IT

 

[Lord Garth]

This is my favorite one!

 

[Tuskin38]

I could actually see Kira saying that

 

[BillJ]

Shouldn’t that be Iowa?

*runs*

 

[fireproof78]

View attachment 39465

Shouldn’t that be Iowa?

*runs*

Was thinking the same thing.


Also, reinforces Shaw's oddness. And poor trigger discipline on the part of Kirk.

 

[Rowdy Roddy McDowall]

View attachment 39465

Lookin' for Big Bad Mama in all the wrong places.....

 

[BillJ]

And poor trigger discipline on the part of Kirk.

It is JTK, he’s got it under control.

 

[BK613]

And poor trigger discipline on the part of Kirk.

He knows Spock and McCoy have plot protection so the only ones in danger are the Iotians.

 

[UssGlenn]

And poor trigger discipline on the part of Kirk.

makes sense. phasers don't have trigger guards.

 

[fireproof78]

makes sense. phasers don't have trigger guards.

You can rest your finger on the frame.